searching the stars // h.s.

03

"burn his shit."

madison isn't the happiest right now and i'm on facetime with her while calum is at the studio.

"i'm not burning anything. that won't do anything but waste time." i'm calmly folding his clothes and putting his belongings into boxes.

i'm not an overdramatic person but i refuse to be lied to.

"maryah literally just light it all on fire. it's already all together." she's not going down the same road that i am and i don't know how to feel.

"no." i shake my head, placing the last box with the others in the front yard.

"does michael know?" she asks, causing me to stop. "maryah you have to tell him."

"i can't. i need to think about this." i shake my head, walking back into the house and into the living room.

"fine. i'll tell him." she shrugs, grabbing her phone. the camera cuts to the 'paused' screen and i quickly try to stop her.

"madison please stop." i beg. "think about this."

"and let you have all the fun? no thank you." she responds and i hear her typing.

before i can argue any further i hear a car door slam.

"shit." i whisper, quickly standing up. "madison i have to go."

before she can have time to process my sentence, i've ended the call. i run to our bedroom and sit on the bed, my heart racing.

"maryah?" i hear calum's voice call out.

"in here." i call back, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice.

"what's all my stuff doing in the front yard?" he asks and i feel my heart pounding in my ears.

"i know that you cheated." i avoid his gaze and he slams the keys onto the dresser, causing me to flinch.

"you're kidding, right?" he asks, running his hands through his hair.

"cal, i saw the-" i try to explain but he grabs a candle off the table and throws it onto the floor, causing it to shatter in my direction.

"you're overreacting." he shakes his head and i stare at him in disbelief.

"i'm overreacting?" i raise my eyebrows, trying not to laugh at how insane he sounds.

"you're mad for no reason." he shakes his head and i feel my blood begin to boil.

"you're kidding me, right?" i ask, holding back everything i want to say to him to spare his feelings.

"you're overreacting." he repeats himself and i can't help but shake my head, laughing softly. "you knew i was out at a party."

"i waited for you until six in the morning, you said the party was over at four." i look up at him, trying not to cry. "no word, no calls, no texts."

"maryah-"

"someone's about to be my next ex." i hold my hand up, stopping him from coming any closer.

"you're overthinking." he shakes his head and i laugh at him.

"i've been sitting here watching reruns, even betty white's looking at me like a bum." i grab my phone. "i called every single person i know, but i guess i don't know the one that you're boning."

he stares at me in shock and i shrug, not feeling any anger or hurt. i'm just numb.

"you don't have to do this." he gestures to the boxes in the yard and i look at him like he's insane.

"what am i to do, because i'm up to here with you." i reach my hand above my head and he looks at me confused. he's completely speechless.

"so we're breaking up?" he asks, his voice cracking as if he has a right to be hurt.

"i put your shit out on the lawn." i look away from him. "leave my heart and-"

"can we at least talk about this? please?" he asks. no. he begs.

"there's nothing left to say." i shake my head. "this is our good bye."

he stares at me as if he's never seen me stand up for myself before.

i've been in a relationship where they care more about themselves than me and i refuse to let that happen again.

maybe me and him were right for each other at one point, but this is different. this is real life and that was a fairy tale.

in this time and place, he's not my soulmate and i need to move on. i'm not weak anymore and i don't need a boy to tell me my worth.

i'm worth more than a broken heart and a girl named heather that wears coconut scented body spray.

i'm worth more than a relationship with a childhood best friend because it 'feels right.'

love isn't real in this day and age. was it ever real? who knows.

i don't want to find out either. if i want to be with someone then i'll be with them. who cares if they're my soulmate.

we're forever changing and growing as people. there's no way you can be stuck with one person for life. it just doesn't make sense logically.

soulmates were made to help people feel like they belong.

well i know that i belong and i don't need another human to tell me that.