searching the stars // h.s.

14

it's a nice day out so i finally decided to leave the house. i'm in a good mood and louis is coming over when i get back home.

i quietly walk into the café and sit down at a table by myself.

i came here alone today so i have some time to think about what harry said. he left soon after our conversation so i had time to think about my answer.

before i can fully sit down, alora unexpectedly approaches my table.

"hey alora!" i smile at her as she comes closer. "i wasn't expecting you to be here-"

"you're with harry?" she asks me abruptly and i feel multiple emotions at once, due to her boldness. my smile quickly fades once i process her question and i feel my body freeze.

there goes my good mood.

"what?" i ask, glancing at the floor and looking back up at her.

"i was told that you're with harry." she keeps her defensive stance and i can feel my heart begin to race.

why would she assume such a thing and who is telling her this stuff?

i know louis and madison wouldn't. and as far as i know, she doesn't talk to anyone else.

"no," i quickly shake my head. "me and harry are just friends."

technically i'm not lying. i'm just not telling the whole truth.

yeah, harry and i sneak glances at each other and always find a way to touch each other, but that's a normal friend thing to do. right?

"that's not what camille said." she folds her arms over her chest and i want to melt into the floor.

oh no. i forgot about camille.

"you talk to camille?" my voice cracks and my heart is beating so fast that it's hurting me.

"yeah." she rolls her eyes and answers me in a 'duh' tone as if i was supposed to know. "she's my closest friend."

"oh." i whisper.

the car. that fucking car.

i knew it was someone's, i just didn't know it was camille's. my whole world just got flipped upside down and i don't know how to feel. i don't even know if i'm feeling at all.

"so," she snaps me out of my thoughts. "you and harry?"

i try to swallow the lump in my throat as tears fill my eyes and look up at her.

"i want him but we're not right." i shrug and she snickers.

harry might be my soulmate but we're not compatible. the universe made a mistake when it put us together.

"you know that camille isn't going to be happy when she finds out, right?" she asks and i stop breathing.

i don't want to hurt camille but she hurt harry. no one deserves to be heart broken. not even her.

"what?" i ask, not realizing what she means.

"i'm telling her everything."

oh fuck. everything. alora has been hanging out with me, madison and louis since i met her. she knows so much.

she was the first person i've trusted since-

since jasper...

"oh..." i whisper. "but there's nothing she-"

i try to justify an argument but she interrupts me.

"you're going to break her heart no matter what you do." she shrugs and all the wind leaves my body as if i was just sucker punched in the stomach.

the last thing i want to do is break someone's heart.

"right..."

my voice is so soft i would think she didn't hear it if she hadn't looked at me.

this can't be real.

i pinch the skin on my wrist as hard as possible, hoping to wake myself up. i eventually make myself bleed so i take that as a sign.

this is real.

i'm not waking up anytime soon.

this is a fucking nightmare.

i don't want this. this is a curse.

before i can speak again, alora walks away proudly and i feel like a stranded puppy.

before anymore thoughts can fill my head up, words appear above my head.

HEARTBREAKS LEFT:
•none.

ouch. that hurt more than you would think. i would expect anything but that.