Hyacinth Petals

six

He could say that he was at his happiest peak but, he wouldn't admit that his marriage with Yoongi hasn't been the best.

After their date in Henggarae, Hoseok didn't question Yoongi about what had happened back in the restaurant. Even though his heart ached tremendously to the point that its surface diverged, he decided to remain silent about the matter. To forget about it while he still can.

Although, instead of bringing it up, he did, nonetheless, observe Yoongi's actions afterward. If there was anything that he had noticed after the incident, it was how Yoongi wasn't acting nor looking any different. He still smiles at him with the same bright and adorable gummy smile and gazes at him with the same sparkles in his eyes like the twinkling stars of the night sky. It was as if whatever had happened to him when he saw Jisoo was nothing but trivial, and Hoseok didn't know whether or not he should feel happy about it.

Don't get him wrong, he was happy, of course. But he just couldn't seem to understand why this still concerned him.

Days had passed after the incident and things were still the same; they were still performing the same routine at home, they were still sweetly interacting with one another, and their marriage remained to be sturdy as the bond that they had developed throughout these years remained to be strong as tungsten, as what Hoseok would like to describe it. As more memories had been made and with the passing of the months, the whole Jisoo incident memory had submerged into the sea of Hoseok's recent memories, slowly sinking to the very bottom of the trench of his forgotten thoughts.

Other than that, things have been going pretty well with Yoongi. They've been married for over a year now, and things have never been better for them!

Well...

Almost.

He could say that their relationship was still going smoothly, although, that would be speaking from his perspective.

He could say that they were still in love, and even until now, he still would. But as the days had gone by, at one point in their marriage, a feeling of uncertainty had sprouted inside of him, making him question if it was true or not.

He could say that he was at the pinnacle of his happiness, but the voice at the back of his head would keep on whispering to him that it was all lies, lies, nothing but lies.

Honestly speaking, Hoseok didn't know why he was feeling this way nor could he tell when this feeling had started to grow. He couldn't understand why he had this growing intuition that things weren't going as well as they should be.

They're living a happy life, right?

Their marriage is still going strong, right?

Yoongi is still happy with him, right?

The apprehensive feeling lingered inside his chest for quite a while as it continues to grow and spread; remains to be unwanted like a weed in a bountiful garden. He wasn't sure why this was the case; he was uncertain why he had these feelings of doubt and anxiety camping and hiding in the backmost cavern of his chest. Sure he had his self-doubts—it was unavoidable for him to overthink and doubt himself—but this feeling... Whatever this feeling was, it was unusually foreign and it had been filling his heart with anxiety and shrouding his mind with nothing but apprehensive thoughts.

At first, he wasn't sure why this was the case. In his life, things still seemed pretty much perfect. He had been doing his best in being the perfect husband, he had been spending as much time with Yoongi as he can, doing his best to be there for him, where was the flaw in the formula that he had been using for so long?