Hyacinth Petals

ten

The atmosphere remained to be dark and gloomy and the environment that he was in was as silent as ever. Honestly speaking, there was nothing new to this despondent aura that had shrouded him from when he first arrived, although, one could say that the mood had grown more depressing than from mere moments ago. Some people would come and go, paying a quick visit to the dead before having to attend to other matters, but to Hoseok, the aura had remained to be constant and unchanging, unlike, however, the heavy feeling that continuously grew inside his chest.

Even though Hoseok had been in the cemetery for barely an hour, it feels as if he had been sitting on cemetery grass for around half a day. Sitting directly across a grave, filled with nothing but remorse as he continues on the story that he had been telling his friend.

A story that ended not so happily.

"So, yeah..." He scratched the back of his ear, trailing off. "Yoongi and I, unfortunately, broke up, and what happened to me after hadn't been so pleasant."

Hoseok crossed his arm over the other, musing over the words that he was about to say next. With a heart that continues to beat in sorrow, he continues: "After he left the apartment, I broke down. I cried and I vomited flowers to the point that I passed out. From that single moment, all my hopes and dreams had been crushed and, for the first time in my life, I-I wanted to die."

He fidgets his fingers, eyes turning glassy. "I kept on coughing petals, flowers keep on growing inside of me, the pain of the heartbreak was unbearable, I just couldn't stand it anymore. I-I was exhausted from living through the pain—of taking the bullets for someone who doesn't even love me—to the point that I ended up having suicidal thoughts. For the first time in my life, I felt so worthless and I just wanted to give up. Yoongi was no longer mine and I had no cure to this insufferable sickness so I thought, what was the point of living in this pointless life? What was the point of moving forward when you have lost your sole purpose? When your foundation to keep on moving had been broken with a single wrecking ball? Yoongi, the very person who kept me going, wasn't with me anymore so why should I keep on living?"

Hoseok's eyelids lowered and he sighed heavily. "After our break up, I fell into a state of depression. I locked my emotions up in a cage along with my heart so that I wouldn't emotionally suffer anymore. I locked myself in the apartment, I did not eat, I hardly slept, I cried for days, and I didn't care about myself anymore. I stopped caring about myself which was so unlikely of me. And to think that this went on for around a week or so..."

"I thought that this was going to be the end of me; that maybe I'd die by rotting inside the apartment all alone, but that was until Jin Hyung and Namjoon came to visit me. I didn't ask them to come over but then they just popped out of nowhere. They just barged into the apartment because—quoting Jin Hyung—I haven't been replying to his messages so it is a must for him to check on me even if it meant breaking down my door." A small smile briefly appeared on his face, quickly falling back to a frown. "Then, they found me inside the bathroom, looking as frail and lifeless as ever, and, according to them, I looked like a corpse with bloody petals surrounding me. I remembered seeing the looks on their faces, worrying and panicking, but what had followed after that became a blur to me." He gripped the hems of his coat sleeves. "When I woke up, I found myself inside a hospital room. Jin and Namjoon were there, and they asked me how I was feeling. Then, I broke down in front of them." A small ball of tear trickled down his face, his lips quivering. "I told them everything. About Yoongi, about my Hanahaki, I told them the whole story."

"They comforted me and stayed by my side, and they took care of me until I felt better; until I can stand on my own again." Sniffle. "But even after all of that, the disease was still there. There was a garden that keeps on flourishing inside of me, making me suffer even more. The pain felt so raw and I honestly didn't know what to do about it." He shook his head. "I had no idea what I should do next or what steps I should take after. Honestly, I hadn't cared much about it. Until one day, Jin and Namjoon decided to take to me about it. About the Hyacinths."