Hyacinth Petals

eight

Hoseok threw up into the toilet bowl.

As he clutches his stomach and grips onto the side of the bowl, he vomits out all the petals that had grown inside of him, pushing himself to release every single one of the sickening flowers until his system would empty. Though he was aware that he cannot remove the roots, he needs to at least get rid of the garden that had flourished within him as of now. So that he could finally breathe and so that the pain would ease.

"God fucking damn it." Hoseok cursed under his breath before pushing himself once more. As the last of the fiery petals had fallen out of his mouth and into the toilet below him, he finally sighs.

As silent tears have trickled his face, Hoseok fell to his knees, dipped his head, and bit the bottom of his lip.

"Damn it," Hoseok grunted, taking in deep breaths while regaining his strength.

It's painful, it's agonizing. The disease, the heartbreak, everything was just a pain that he has to bear. Having flowers growing inside of your lungs where its roots dig into your skin and having to forcefully vomit those said flowers were unbelievably tormenting, adding to the agony that he was already suffering.

He knew that the disease would be severe, has known it ever since he had first heard of it back in high school. But now that he was experiencing it, now that he was diagnosed with it, it was just a whole new level that he was going through.

Hoseok had tried his best to tolerate the discomfort of the disease and the burning inside of him, going to work while putting on a fake smile like he now-normally does. But, while in the middle of work, when he felt the petals rapidly climbing up his throat, itching and burning the inside of his skin like hell, he tries to swallow the petals and ignore them, hoping to be able to keep it in until the start of his next break. But as the petals continue to add up, deciding to be merciless with him, he couldn't hold it in much longer. So he excused himself to his co-worker and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

It took a while for Hoseok to regain his strength and to be able to regulate his breathing. But eventually, he manages to recover at least a small amount of his energy. Quickly wiping his tears with his arm, he craned forward to look at the petals that he had thrown up.

There, inside the toilet bowl, were Hyacinths floating on the toilet water. Purple Hyacinths that weren't just petals, but were mixed with a few stemless flowers and blood droplets as well.

The sight of it sickened him.

"Shit," Hoseok curses, more so to himself. It was the first time he had vomited blood and flowers and seeing those very minimal specks that had stained the petals made him realize that his disease was worsening.

No wonder this session was more painful than the last time he vomited.

Agh, the pain was unbearable. It was so tormenting, so suffocating. It suddenly makes him wonder, how was Jimin able to get through all of this? Seokjin? Namjoon? Taehyung? How were they able to endure the pain of the flourishing flowers inside of them? How were they able to hold back this life-threatening agony for so long? Especially Seokjin. How did he tolerate the disease for three years? It was excruciating, so fucking excruciating, Hoseok could hardly even go through a day without having to cry and endure the growing agony, without having to experience utter distress as well.

It makes Hoseok wonder, how would he be able to handle this while having to deal with the pain of his heartbreak every day? More importantly, will he be able to make it out of this alive?

Will he ever be cured of his disease when his remedy was way out of his reach? As it gets farther away as their distance continues to increase?

Hoseok lets out a shuddering sigh.