I Can't Even [Reader X Reader X Reader]

Blood and Bad Influence

"Ok, but how does that make you more experienced than me?" you telekinetically massaged your temples. It looked really weird to the people around you, your skin moving in circles on its own, but whatever. Sounds like a 'they' problem.

"After that I joined the Association Against Copies, AAC for short, and have since hunted five different copies," Rosa puffed their chest out, seeming very proud of herself. Personally you found it a little unsettling that Rosa had murdered at least five different individuals, but who were you to judge?

"How are we only hearing about this now?" Leslie questioned. "And are minors even allowed to join them?"

"Pfft, rules are for nerds! I just lied about my age," Rosa smiled.

Gasps were heard throughout the room.

"But that's illegal!" Leslie said in a worried tone.

"Laws are merely suggestions," Rosa shrugged.

"Gosh darn it. I can't be associated with a criminal..." Leslie went into deep thought. "... so I have to make sure no one finds out you're a criminal..." you could almost see the brainwaves radiating out of her head. "... so I have to make sure you never get caught..." she was really taking her time, but genius thoughts take genius time, or uh, something. "... so I have to become your partner in crime!" she concluded. 

You thought it was a bit of a leap in logic but were too interested in seeing the two of them commit crime to really care.

"Yeah, okay," Rosa shrugged again.

"Yay, crime!" Leslie cheered.

"Hey, I'm, uhm... awake?"

Y'all turned to dude, who was indeed awake.

"How much did you hear?" Leslie glowered at her.

"Just something along the lines of 'Ay, lime'?" dude rubbed her head, which wasn't bleeding.

"Good," Leslie slipped the switchblade back into her pocket. You noticed she suddenly had an eye-patch and sat on top of a sick-looking motorcycle. Finally, she had succumb to Rosa's bad influence. Finally you could be a normal friend group.

"We should just kill it. We have no use for it," Rosa sneered at dude.

"Ugh, you humans have no manners!" Dude glared daggers at her, who glared daggers in return.

"Dude," you lay your hand on her soft cheek and turned her head to you. Your faces were merely inches apart and you could feel her deep breaths hit your face. Her breath smelled of blood. You looked deep into her eyes, which were identical to yours. They sure were beautiful.

"Y-yes?" Dude's face flushed, even though her body had barely any blood left.

"Can you help us find Bro?" you moved your face closer to hers, so your noses were touching.

"Uh, sure, who's your bro?" Dude looked away from you, her face redder than a dead sack of meat.

"No, Bro with a capital B" you explained.

The corner's of  Dude's mouth pulled into a deep frown. "Oh, you mean Bro with a capital Bitch."

"This once I must agree with the damned creature. Bro is most certainly a capital bitch," Rosa commented.

"Can you help us find her or not?" you ignored both of them.

"Mmmmaybe...." Dude's eyelashes fluttered. "If you give me a kiss?"

"Ew, no. That's necrophilia." you said in disgust. 

"Aww, c'mon! This body wasn't dead for that long! Besides, I think my heart is working again!" Dude wrapped her arms around your neck.

"What's with the sudden personality switch?! Are you guys seeing this?" you asked your friends.

"lol" they said in perfect unison while holding up their smartphones.

"... I could literally break your spines with my mind" you said.

"Aww, don't be like that! I can't help you find her without a kiss!" Dude made kissy faces at you.

*smooches*

The room was completely silent, aside from the distant sound of the neighbors screaming. 

"OOOOOOOH!" Leslie started yelling.

"No homo" you said to Dude whose face no longer looked dead.

"You're all disgusting..." Rosa mumbled into her hand.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Can we find Bro now?" you asked.

"Your kiss has restored my powers, so yes. We can" Dude stood up and dusted herself off.

"Oh, I thought the kiss..." you began.

Dude raised her eyebrow at you. "Are you going to finish that sentence?"

"... no" you levitated off of the ground.