We didnt talk about it anymore, "ok guys rooms ashley and monte room 134. Tommy and me room 136" adam said reading out the list he had in his hand. "Awesome well im gonna hit the hay see you in the morning" monte said as him and ashley split off to one side. Adam slid the door key in the lock as it clicked open, "well this is posh" I said absentmindedly. "Yeah well its 5 star anyway I guess we better head to bed" he said placing a hand behind his neck. "Yeah well anyway night" I replied, "night" he replied as we went into our seperate rooms.
"Tommy wake up the baby wants you" ellie said, I sat up as she handed me the screaming blanket. "where are you going?" I asked looking at her tight dress and skyscraper heels. "Out with jamie we are going clubbing" she said. "Oh yeah I bet you are" I muttered, "dont you start with that hes a friend tommy and besides it about ime you pulled your weight with the kids you dont do anything else" she told me. "I work thanks" I commented, "oh yeah touring isnt exactly a job really is it anyway have a nice night dont know what time I will be home" she told me slamming the door behind her.
"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" the kids screamed as I went downstairs to find they had drawn over the walls. ""Amy, Lilly really!" I said as they laughed and ran away kncoking over stuff in their wake. I stuck josh in the baby chair a he screamed for attention, the shrill shriek of him screaming ringing in my ears as I tidied up. I heard crying as I ran into the kitchen and saw the girls fighting and josh yelling, it all too much I cant do this I said as I screamed.
I sat bolt upright and stared into blackness, it was 3 am. I was tangled in the duvet with sweat covering my head, I glanced round the room and ran my hands over my face. I slid out of bed and into the kitchen to make myself some water, theres no point going back to sleep now I thought as I leant against the counter. I heard quiet footsteps as adam appeared in the doorway in just his boxers, "hey what are you doing up?" I asked quietly.
"I could ask you the same thing " he replied shivering a little, "getting a glass of water go back to be you'll freeze" I said. "Right are you sure you're ok?" he asked yawning, "im fine go on go back to bed busy day tomorrow" I said as he nodded and I heard the door shut quietly behind him. I sat on the sofa and pulled out my phone, I scrolled down to ellies number and pressed it.
"Tommy why are you ringing me at 3 am your time shouldnt you be asleep?" she asked, "about that I couldnt sleep I just wanted to hear your voice" I said. "Aww babe thats so sweet whats the matter missing me already" she teased as I heard the hoover turn off, "Yeah I have something I need to talk to you about" I said. "Oh I dont like the sound of that whats wrong?" she questioned, "its about the baby" I replied as I heard her breathe in.
"What about it?" she asked, "I'm worried I wont be a good dad to him or her. I mean im just 21 and I can barely look after myself let alone a baby, Idont want to let them or you down" I said quietly. "Oh tommy look I know we are young but we are in a stable and strong relationship. I know you will be an amazing dad, you never ever let me down tommy you make me so proud in everything you do and I know you'll be the same with the baby" she said.
"But ellie how can you know that" I said twisting a piece of fringe round my finger. "Because I know you better than anyone, please dont overthink this" she said, "I cant help but overthink it ellie the fear that I wont be a good dad is driving me insane" I said. She chuckled "stop stressing ok just focus on your tour I can look after things here look believe me I know you are going to be awesome" she said.
"I suppose youre right, I cant know if I dont try" I said, "exactly anyway you better get some sleep tommy you have a busy few weeks ahead of you. And babe please stop worrying" she said. "Ok i'll try I love you, both of you" I said, "love you too babe both os us" she said laughing as the phone went dead. I turned on the tv and leant against the cushions on the sofa.
I watched as a light came from outside, I walked onto the balcony and leant on the concrete bannister around it. I watched as the sky turned pink and then speckled blue bits popped up, it was beautiful. The sun rose over the horizon casting pale sunlight over london as a new day started, I wrapped my arms around me as a cool breeze swirled outside. I shivered slightly as something was draped round my shoulders, I looked up to a pair of ocean blue eyes sparkling in the morning sun.
"Hey thought you might appreciate this its pretty chilly out" he said smiling, his hair was a ruffled mess and his cheeks flushed from sleep if I was gay that would be hot as fuck. "Thanks" I said as I pulled the blanket round my bare arms, I shivered a little as he leant on the bannister next to me. I could feel his eyes watching my every move, burning into me and searching for answers only he could get out of me. He knows I will crack eventually, he always knows i'll crack. He is the only one I can tell anything to without being judged, my best friend.
"So how long have you been out here" adam asked, "not long I couldnt sleep" I said. "What was your nightmare about?" he asked as I gasped, "how did you know" I whispered. "Well youve been out here for hours, the tv is on mute and I heard you scream" he said gently biting his lip. "I dont want to talk about it ok" I said shuddering as I walked inside.
