𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝙾𝚏 𝙿𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚛

Anxiety/Spideychelle part 2

Andddd finally part 2! Sorry for the wait lovelies<3

Mild swear words and mentions of anxiety and panic attacks. If this sort of thing triggers you, please proceed at your own risk:)

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It felt like hours has passed, Michelle had successfully calmed me down, though I still felt a sharp pain in my chest. I was praying that it wouldn't happen again. Of course, my Parker™️ failed me once again.

Flashback:

"Peter I need you to take a deep breath."

I failed, my heart beating even faster than before. I thick ball started forming in my throat almost completely blocking my airways. It didn't help that I couldn't stop thinking about it.

My dad died. For the third time. Only this time, It hurt so bad. So so bad. It destroyed me.

I started hyperventilating again feeling my palms sweat even more.

"Peter. Look at me. Look at me right in the eye." It was hard to focus on what she was saying but managed to listen anyway her voice being fuzzy and her face blurry because of the tears beginning to brim around my eyes.

I looked at her deep brown eyes, feeling a sense of peace for a second before I began spiralling out of control again.

She gently grabbed my face, turning it towards her. By now tears were streaming down my cheek. I felt so vulnerable and I hated it.

"Look at my eyes. Am I lying when I'm telling it's going to be okay?" I shook my head, sinking back into the floor, feeling a little more steady. My heart quickened at the overwhelming thought of looking like an absolute loser in front of the girl of my dreams.

It was so sudden, but she hugged me.

What?

It was tense at first, her arms wrapping around me awkwardly. I soon melted into the hug, feeling warm and safe for the first time in a long time. It felt nice. The hug was sudden but genuine.

I could truly sense she wanted to help, so I accepted that. I let my guard down, hoping I wouldn't regret it later on.

She loosened but kept her hold, kissing me on my cheek.

I started to feel a lot calmer, my heart going back to an almost normal pace, and the ball started to slowly disappear. My cheeks were stained with tears, my eyes a blood-red, my hands still trembling for the anxiety which was slowly starting to plummet.

But of course, it didn't. It never goes away. It always lingers behind, the bubbling feeling settling In the pit of my stomach, somehow threatening to escape. It scared me. The fear of it is what provoked me. How was I so afraid when I'm meant to be a hero. Heroes can't be scared.

End of flashback:

I trailed behind MJ walking back to the theatre, muttering thank you's and apologies. She brushed it off, shrugging her shoulders like it was nothing. But it was something. That small act of affection felt so... pleasant. The tall brunette led me back to our seats, but this time, instead of sitting behind me, she sat next to me.

Huh, how weird?

I suddenly got very self-conscious, now aware of things I didn't care about before.

Did I smell bad? Does my hair look ok? God, I probably look like a loser. Maybe that's why she calls me that. What if she's right, what if everyone's right? Do I fidget too much? Why does she keep looking at me? Am I that ugly? I probably am. What if-