𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝙾𝚏 𝙿𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚛

say hello to darkness

Credit to the original artist!^^

I've been under a lot of stress lately and been extremely anxious over everything. It emotionally releasing to write this. The inspiration from this chapter came from a character from teen wolf who was having a panic attack and felt lost from reality. I was also inspired by this tik tok sound that really hit differently. Anyway, I hope yall enjoy this one, schools been stressful so ill try to post as much as I can.

TW: PANIC ATTACK AND DISSOCIATION FROM REALITY DONT READ IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU PLEASE! Mental health comes first! Mild swearing but yall should know that by now. 

Enjoy!

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My head was spinning, my surroundings blurred. Only the vivid memory of her smile drowning my brain. All I could see was her, her frizzy curls and her midnight eyes twinkling like stars in a dismal sky. The faint memory of her voice sounded like an echo, her aroma of faint smoke and vanilla intoxicated my nostrils. She extended her arm out to me, motioning me to come closer. I crept towards her with caution, trying to grasp her hand for dear life. It slipt through. She gave me a sad smile, turning around and running away, the ominous sky enveloping her into the shadow of darkness.  My voice went raw calling out for her. My knees buckled and I fell to the floor, unable to move. 

"Michelle no! Please come back I need you PLEASE!" Tears cascaded down my cheek like a never-ending waterfall. The salty tears slipped through the crack of my lips, combining with the copper droplets of blood from my bitten lips. Sobs racked through me as the painful memory of not being able to save her haunted me. I should've been in her place, I should've been brave and just killed him. I'm so fucking weak! I gripped my roots tugging on them harshly. Get up, Peter! Get up!

"Peter get up!" My eyes shot open facing my concerned mentor. Tony? I don't remember him being with me? My breath hitched as I remembered that nightmare. The vision was so reoccurring that it was all I thought about. I trembled for any sort of touch to lead my back to reality. A cold sensation numbed my body. My chest begged for oxygen, my heart pounding loudly in my ears. My head was spinning, black dots clouding my vision. My hand shook violently. 

A heavy object-centred itself on my chest, weighing it down. Every time I took a gulp I would have to force it down. Breathing seemed so hard all of a sudden. I'm gonna die. Well If it means reuniting with her maybe I should die. From the lack of oxygen, I felt as if I might. At the moment all I could feel was death creeping closer and closer. Although I was afraid, I would welcome it. It would save me from this painful suffering.

"Pete? Kiddo answer me!" I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I shook my head vigorously as my hyperventilating became worse and the chest feeling felt more intense. His eyes narrowed sadly, as his eyes dulled. It looked as if he was having a flashback, but I couldn't tell. I wasn't sure if this was a nightmare or reality. What was real or not. 

3rd person POV

Tony saw himself in Peter. He recognized the breathing, the trembling and the sobs. All of it was too familiar for the traumatized hero.  

"Listen, Peter, you're going to be okay I promise. Please try to breathe. I know it's hard but you need to try." Peter shook his head again, the ability of speech coming back to him as stuttering whispers.

"N-no, no this isn't real," Peter paused, putting a hand to his chest while inspecting his surroundings. There he saw her again. She was a ghostly white, all the colour drained from her body. 

"I lost her M'stark, i-its all my fault!" His speech slurred with heavy breaths and agonizing sobs. It struck a nerve in Tony's aching heart.

"Listen to me it wasn't your fault. This isn't you. You need to breathe, then I promise we will talk about it. Baby steps." Peter remained to shake, digging his fingernails in his palm to feel any sort of a pain to bring him back in touch with reality. He was convinced this wasn't real and he would wake up. Except for the nightmare from his slumber followed him to the real world. Yet he couldn't tell anymore.