Loving The Russian Mafia

Chapter 36: Unsaid and incomplete

Vienna's POV

I snapped out of my thoughts, opening my eyes slowly as a lone tear rolled down my cheek.

"Ryan..." I called out in a weak voice.

"I-I never wanted to hurt you Ryan...it was never my intention to hurt you...it's the last thing that I would ever do..." I trailed off, soon turning into a sobbing mess.

"It's funny how I still believe every word that you are saying Vienna. Somehow I still trust you, even after...well you get the idea. I do know that you didn't want to hurt me but it does hurts and it hurts real bad...I can't even begin to explain how betrayed and broken I feel right now" He said and each word he uttered, pushed me deeper and deeper into the guilt that I was already feeling seeing him like this. 

"God! Now I wish I hadn't came back to our room last night and hadn't heard your conversation" He added, almost as if talking to himself.

"I so badly wish that I hadn't found out the truth..." He paused taking a glance at me.

"Because the truth hurts" He continued.

"But it really doesn't matters if I found out the truth or not because at the end I would have ended up getting hurt anyways..." He paused yet again.

"Because if I hadn't heard your conversation last night then I would still be living in the bubble of your lie that I was going to be a father soon...and then you would have confronted me, telling me that you aborted my child" He continued as I just stared at my feet, not even daring to look up at him.

"Oh by the way you came here to do exactly that, didn't you? You came here to execute your plan further...so come on let's just pretend that I don't know the truth and I still believe your lies...go on with your plan Vienna...tell me how and why you aborted our child" He said as I shook my head.

"Ryan, please don't do this" I replied as I almost started shaking due to the continuous sobbing.

"No Vienna, I want to know exactly what you were going to say after dropping the news of abortion on me" He said as I just remained silent to his words.

"Okay I know you won't say anything so let me guess what you planned on saying...you were probably going to say that 'I aborted that baby because it was your dirty blood Ryan...that's how much I hate you...and that's how badly I want to get rid of you and everything that's related to you'..." He added, mimicking me.

"Am I even a bit close" He asked.

"Sure I am. I know you too well" He said with a scoff, answering his own question.

"R-Ryan I'm sorry" I said reaching out to hold his hand.

"Don't..." He murmured jerking my hand away lightly.

"Ryan, baby just listen to me...please..." I said stepping closer to him, cupping his face as he still tried to get away from my touch as if it burned him.

"I'm so, so sorry for hurting you Ryan...I never wanted to do this...but I'll fix this...I know I screwed up real bad this time but I..." I trailed off with desperation in my voice.

"I just can't see you like this...I'll stay...I'll be with you...I'll do anything. I'll fix everything" I said nodding my head to myself, determined.

"I can't see you like this...so hurt...so broken and the fact that I'm the damn reason of this pain, is eating me up from inside" I added resting my forehead against his.

"I can't..." I trailed off.

"This is all my fault" I blabbered.

"No love..." He whispered putting his index finger under my chin, making me look up into his eyes.