california world - dreamnotfound

transitions

"how were the girls?"
"they were very nice."

nick smirks, almost stumbling over his own feet, presumably still dizzy from last night.

"you're too wild man," i groan, slapping him on the back as we walk down the street, "one day you're gonna get chlamydia or something."
"what?! i'm not a prostitute!"
"no, but you sleep around like one."

he crosses his arms, pouting at the ground. clay's loudly wheezing at our exchange, and as usual it's highly contagious. i burst out laughing too, causing nick to fake pout even more aggressively.

"i'm just kidding lil bro, i love you."

i stop in my tracks, grabbing the side of his head and placing a quick kiss on his cheek for forgiveness. his unkempt stubble feels scratchy against my lips, and i can't hold back a cringe as i pull away.

"ew, shave that."
"never," he argues, face flushed a hot pink, "i look hideous shaven! and besides, the ladies love it."
"i'll never understand girls," i mutter, burying my face into clay's chest, practically begging for a hug.

he gladly accepts, leaning down and whispering "shorty" in my ear. i don't even react anymore. it's just a sweet pet name to me.

if i could choose, i'd want clay to always use his pet names and never call me by my real name again. they make me feel all warm and cozy inside, like i'm really his even though we never agreed on being something more. hopefully i can gather enough courage to ask him about it, unless he brings it up himself.

"you're just jealous cause you can't grow a beard yourself, baby face," nick taunts.
"whatever you say," i scoff back.
"okay, but in all seriousness, i love you too dude. now just stay here and let me get a pack."

i nod as he walks away, diving into the corner store just ahead. clay releases me from his grasp and sits down on the concrete below us, resting against a brick building.

"you guys are so cute," he chuckles, patting the empty spot beside him for me to sit down on.
"he's just like a little brother to me honestly. i could tell you some backstory if you want."
"go on, i'm listening."

scooting closer to him, i start explaining.

"well, you and i began talking about a year ago, and i think i met nick like a couple of months before that. i don't know if you knew about this but i used to do some really... heavy stuff.

i had moved over to america to kind of get a fresh new start, away from all the people back in england who resented me. unfortunately i wasn't in the best place mentally, and i ended up in the wrong hands with the wrong people. i got evicted from my shabby apartment pretty quickly as all my rent money started going to booze and drugs instead.

that didn't bother me too much though, i would still party practically every hour of every day, trying to be some sort of happy, to get by."

i sigh as clay wraps an arm around my shoulders, urging me to continue.

"it was just horribly destructive. if i wasn't high i was hungover, craving more substances.

one day i was smoking alone at a house party when i saw nick wandering around looking like a lost puppy. i guess i was the least intimidating person there, cause he came straight up to me and started venting.

we shared that joint as he told me about how he'd been kicked out by his parents just a few days prior, and how he didn't know where to go. i think i even have a vague memory of him crying on my shoulder, but i'm not sure," i laugh.

"anyway, we ended up getting to know each other for hours that night. he followed me as i left the house, and we slept together on a street corner. we became close really fast. he didn't dare leave my side.

nick was the only person i felt i could actually trust out here. everyone else just wanted to hurt me for their own benefit, but nick couldn't hurt a fly. he just wanted to survive.

as much as i wished to protect him, my addictions still had the upper hand. he would watch me waste away every single day. a lot of times i screamed at him for no reason, told him he was a pussy and a useless piece of shit. yet he still remained by my side, loyal as ever. he knew it wasn't the real me that told him these things.

one day i woke up to him crying in his sleep. it shattered what pieces i had left of my heart. in that moment i vowed to quit cold turkey. not a great idea of course, as the withdrawals can become life threatening, but i pushed through for as long as i could.

i relapsed many times, but each time it got easier to get back on track. my relationship with nick improved, he got more confident and drifted away from me a couple of times, but he always came back no matter what. he's honestly like the family i never had. you are too."

i snuggle closer to clay as i finish that sentence, to show my gratitude.

"damn, shorty finna make me cry," he says, lightly laughing to stop the obvious tears welling up.
"thank you for everything. i mean, without your money and support me and nick would've been dead long ago."
"don't say that-"
"it's true."

those words earn me a few soft pecks on the forehead, like small injections of straight dopamine. i couldn't be any happier than i am at this exact moment, with clay right here by my side.