california world - dreamnotfound

i hope you're doing okay

i'm lost in the music, lost in the moment. the wild movements are making me agitated. the song is pounding through my head. my fingertips are tingling. it's so hot i can barely breathe.

clay dances closer, coming right up to my body. i don't mind the extra heat if it means i get to touch him. his face is blurry, but he's still beautiful. the greasy dark blonde locks are stuck to his forehead, his clammy, shimmering skin. it's beautiful. he radiates happy, chaotic energy and i'm living for it as i can feel myself coming down.

i already took a pill tonight, but i think he was too drunk to notice. the high wasn't even that good. it just made me feel strange, and out of touch with reality. not giddy and confident as usual. and now that i'm slipping out of it the effects are even worse.

trevor has always kept his shit high quality, so i don't get why something would be different this time. maybe the cops bust another hideout, and they just had to add whatever other substances they could find to still sell.

all that matters right now however, is that i crave another.

when clay momentarily looks away i take the opportunity, turning around and popping a pink one.

"george?"

fuck.

"hm?"

we can't hear each other well over the music and the people cheering and screaming. it doesn't help that everything sounds like it's been buried several feet underwater.

he grabs ahold of me, trying to get me to look him in the eyes.

"what was t-that?"

my muscles refuse to listen, eyes swaying around and looking anywhere but him.

"it's- just... nothing," i mutter incoherently.
"george? what.. did you take?"
"just m-molly."

clay carefully snakes an arm around my waist, pushing us out of the crowd on the dance floor. his grip is making me tingly, making my head spin.

"let's.. let's get you outta here," he stutters, "this place ain't- ain't good for yous."

we both leave the club stumbling over our own feet, me more than him. the cold air that hits me as we fall through the exit gives me chills. i start shaking, clinging onto my boyfriend for warmth. his skin is hot unlike mine which is pale and icy. i lean against him as much as possible, letting him lead me away from the turmoil. my legs feel weak and unsteady. i'm losing control fast.

"woaahh," clay slurs, "you're really out o-of it."

i try to open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

"come on, let's go sleep."

the ambient sounds from cars, junkies and nightclubs are fading. the street lights are fading. the slight tingling in my fingertips have been replaced by an overwhelming numbness. my limbs are gone and i have to solely rely on clay to take me back to the motel. clay...

"this night was pretty- pretty intense like, i d-don't think i've partied-"

nodding off..

"i hope you had... fun too."

keep steady.

"george!"

that's not clay speaking.

"george!"

but i recognize the voice.

"i'm so happy to see you man!"

too well.

"it's been ages!"

i trip.

"shit, okay.."

"come, let's just- just sit here for now."

clay's voice again.

"we can rest a little."

his hands, pulling me down.

"just... just rest, a little."

concrete. but i can't feel it.

"you're okay, right? w-want some water?"

limply shaking my head.

"okay. you'll feel better, better tomor-"

"george..."

"wake up..."

"i wouldn't wanna lose you out here again."

sleep overcomes me.