california world - dreamnotfound

virgo

"i got paid! guys, guys! i got paid!"

clay practically flies out of the white stone building, scaring both me and nick out of our fuzzy thoughts. his whole demeanor screams happiness and relief. nick jolts up as he begins to take in what clay's just said and i follow suit, not prepared for the sudden blood pressure drop the action would bring.

"dude! does that mean-"
"we're staying at a motel tonight!"

to our surprise he engulfs us in a group hug. my arms aren't long enough to reach around both their bodies but i do my best to keep the moment intact.

"you're a lifesaver," i mumble into his shirt, barely audible.
"this is gonna be the first time i've slept in a proper bed for ages man," nick chimes in. "i swear you're like my dad."

clay chuckles, ruffling our hair after releasing us from the tight grip.

"i think it's enough to stay plenty of nights, we'll just find some place cheap but good."
"like our own little apartment," i sigh, taking his hand and loosely playing with his fingers.

his gaze lands softly upon my face, scouring all my insecurities in only a couple of seconds. it lingers on my lips for a bit too long. i'm just about to say fuck it and go for it when i remember that nick is standing right next to us.

we haven't mentioned anything about us to him yet, even though it can't be hard to catch onto what we're doing. the constant flirting, the giggling and the cuddling. i know nick would take it just fine, that he'd be over the moon for my sake, but the problem is that not even i know what's up with us.

clay didn't explicitly tell me he wanted to be more than friends, but he keeps stealing little pecks on my cheeks, my forehead and anywhere else you could think of when nobody's watching. that, paired with the looks he gives me and the events of the party, tell a story of its own.

i'm just not sure how to bring it up with him, as emotions tend to be hard for me to communicate. for the moment i might as well leave it alone, as i have a vague feeling it'll work itself out naturally anyway.

"well, what are we waiting for?" he chants, hand still in mine, "let's go!"

he drags us along the dusty sidewalk, performing more of a skip than a regular walk. the sunset isn't visible behind the city's architecture, but the adamant approach of nightfall is still noticeable. bars and nightclubs have their bright neon signs lit, and the streetlights are starting to make a difference too. crickets are hiding in even the smallest plots of vegetation lining the road, chirping without rest.

i've always lived for that free feeling, that feeling of running around and enjoying the cooling evening air without any plans of returning home. you don't know where you're going, you just know it feels right. but maybe that exact mindset is what led me to this life i'm living today. maybe it wasn't so good after all.

"i can only get one room unfortunately so i hope you're okay with all three of us sharing a queen bed."
"ugh," i groan, "i already have nick's cock in my mouth every single night sleeping rough, but fine i guess."

i say it jokingly as always but nick almost seems hurt by my comment. he's a cute pouter and a great actor, but this time he doesn't even laugh. i add a "just kidding, you know i love you" to finish my statement, and it appears to cheer him back up a little.

clay closely scans the motels we pass, each new one sleazier than the previous. i'm guessing our goal is to find a decent looking place without five prostitutes and a cop car out front. i take advantage of the silence between us to adore the boy whose hand i still have in mine.

his youtube name is dream, and i think it fits him perfectly. he's just like a stunning dream, but one you experience in real life, conscious and sober. my dream. my dream boy.