california world - dreamnotfound

kicking your bruises

clay's pov
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the sunlight pierces through my eyelids, forcing me awake. i groan, stretching my limbs and exhaling. i'm still dizzy from last night. the two stone buildings around me are only separated by this narrow alleyway full of trash and old, broken furniture. straws of grass have found their way up through cracks in the concrete, at least decorating the gray surroundings somewhat.

"god, that was a hell of a night," i sigh, chuckling a little at my hoarse, hungover voice, "don't you think so george?"

i turn my head to look at him, nudging him with the back of my hand to steal his attention.

"george?"

i repeat his name when i don't get a response.

an anxious frown spreads upon my face as i move closer to him, sitting up on my knees. his neck is craned back in a strange way, mouth hanging open. his entire body is stiff and unnaturally positioned, limbs sprawled out everywhere. sickly white foam coats his deep blue lips, the tips of his fingers taking on the same haunting color. i touch his ice cold arm, only to find the pale gray skin sinking in under my thumb.

"g-george!"

his cloudy, lifeless eyes stare right into mine as i let out the most harrowing scream. tears spill down my face faster than a waterfall. my chest tightens up until i can barely breathe anymore, until my shriek dies down. i bring his limp body down on the ground, scrambling in a panic to start cpr. he's not gone yet, if i just resuscitate him...

"h-help! please help! pl-please..."

i yell my lungs out, begging and pleading for someone to come around the corner as i keep doing chest compressions. i need to call an ambulance but i can't stop. i can't risk george slipping away from me. my violent cries fuck up my breathing. i'm starting to feel lightheaded.

when i'm starting to lose hope a short, skinny woman appears at the end of the alleyway. she sees me desperately huddled over my dying boyfriend and swiftly runs towards us to assist.

"what the hell happened?"

her accent is a thick, southern one. she's got light blonde, almost white thin hair falling over her shoulders and multiple wrinkles covering her sunken cheeks. as she kneels down to inspect george i notice her skin is deeply tanned, arms covered in scabs and wounds.

"i-i-i don't know.. i- he od'd, i think i don't- i don't kn-know," i choke out in between panicked yelps. my hands fumble after the phone in my back pocket to call paramedics.

"what did he take? do you know?"
"h-he said just.. just molly b-but-"
"oh, this isn't just molly hunny," she says, shaking her head and reaching for something in her bag, "this is an opioid."

my thumb hits the call button.

"well do something! please..."

i'm shaking too much, my hands have become too weak. i can't even continue the cpr anymore. the woman looks at me with ounces of sympathy and i think i can even spot a tear rolling down her weathered cheek. she hurriedly pulls out a small red box containing naloxone from her backpack, opening it up but hesitating when she's about to take the auto-injector out.

"listen, i-"
"what are you doing! co-come on, inject it!" i holler, not realizing that i'm being aggressive.
"he's long gone son, don't you understand? hours, i would bet. there's no saving 'em."

"911, what's your emergency?"

"no n-no no no, he's still... h-he's still here, he-"

"do you need police or ambulance sir?"

the woman quickly takes the phone from my hands, starting a conversation with the operator.

"i need an ambulance, probable opioid overdose, uh..."

i fall into a pile on the hard ground, clutching my sides and crying out in pain. both mental and physical pain. the woman's voice is drowned out as i watch her administer the naloxone against her will. she uses her knuckles to rub george's chest, watching hopelessly for a response. a minute passes, two. no signs of life.

i crawl up to his head, cupping his cold cheeks and planting an unforgettable kiss on his forehead. wet tears trickle down the sides of my face, landing on his.

my mind is filling with our happy memories; all the times we cuddled in bed, all the times we would lay down and tell each other stories late into the night, our high make outs, our long deep talks, the ferris wheel, the flower field picnic, the house party where we kissed, the first time we had sex, all our drunken shenanigans..

"i'm sorry hunny, i'm so sorry."

i grab his shoulders, shaking them in one last attempt to make him wake up. then i lose myself. he's dead, and i'll never get to see him again. i'll never again get to hold him in my arms and kiss his soft lips. i'll never again get to tell him how much i love him and i won't get to hear those words back. i scream again, an even more bloodcurdling and heart wrenching scream than before.

i scream until my lungs give out, until my throat burns.

i scream as the woman tries to pat my back and calm me down.

i scream enough to attract a small crowd of onlookers, keeping their distance but still curiously observing the scene.

i scream when the paramedics arrive.

i scream when they take my baby boy away from me.

i scream over their voices telling me everything will be okay.

i scream in agony as the love of my life is wheeled into the ambulance on a stretcher.

i scream as they drive off without the sirens on, leaving me empty handed, with only my shattered heart left on the concrete.

i love you so much george, don't you ever forget that.

epilogue coming soon.