california world - dreamnotfound

broken seatbelt

"okay, well, what type of cheese you want?"
"i don't know, just choose something."
"i can't choose! that's why i'm asking you george!"
"oh my fucking- just... take some simple normal cheese!"

"god you're annoying, go get a picnic blanket instead and stop bugging me."
"why do we need a whole picnic blanket?"
"because i say so. hush now, go away."

i snort, rolling my eyes and taking off towards a different section of the store. clay practically dragged me down to walmart after our nap to get picnic supplies and food.

i find his enthusiasm rather cute. he's always so happy to do things with me, to just spend time with me. it feels surreal that someone as amazing as clay could fall in love with a dirty street kid like myself. i have no idea what he saw in me that hooked him, or what he still sees today.

all i know is that i'm head over heels for the guy, and that the feelings are mutual. my life couldn't be any more perfect than it is right now.

just as i finish that thought, i'm reminded of the reason we even planned a picnic in the first place. 'to clear our minds and stuff' as clay put it. to clear our minds of yesterday's events. nick.

i swallow the lump building up in my throat. my baby bro. i miss him so much already. but i know there's nothing more we can do. he doesn't have a phone nor any other way we can contact him in. clay keeps telling me he's alright, and that he'll come back eventually, so i'll just have to take his word for it.

i pick out one of the cheaper blankets and make my way back over to clay, who seems to have made a decision regarding the cheese. his eyes light up when he spots me waddling in his direction, and i can't help but smile at how pretty he is. even in this bright, shitty grocery store lighting he's stunning. my heart flutters every time he looks at me.

"like the view?" he teases as i realize i've been staring for way too long.
"you know i do."

he lets go of the shopping cart, opening his arms for me. i jump right into the embrace, completely oblivious of the move he's about to pull off.

"c'mere," he says, voice low and raspy before picking me up like a toddler, forearms placed under my butt. i blush, instinctively wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. he's beaming with joy and infatuation as he brings our foreheads together. my mouth falls open in pure awe.

with the cutest little smirk he pecks my lips so softly and so quickly that i barely have time to react. another layer of red covers my normally pale cheeks.

"hi baby."

he chuckles after he whispers that, leaving me totally speechless. i hide my face by nuzzling his shoulder, inhaling his sweet scent. people are probably staring, but i couldn't care less.

we continue our shopping trip like nothing's happened. clay balances me with only his left arm, using the other one to pick items off the shelves and putting them in the cart. i could almost fall asleep right here in his grip, like a child against his mother's chest.

"okay," he suddenly interrupts, "it's starting to get heavy now."

i sigh, knowing i'd have to set my feet back down on earth at some point. clay has other plans though, as usual. he carries me over to the shopping cart and sets me down in it, pushing the food aside.

"you wanna go dude?"
"we're so gonna get kicked out," i giggle, looking back at him who's ready to launch.
"well boohoo, let's just have some fun."

without hesitation clay starts running, pushing the cart with his helpless boyfriend in front of him. i squeal out of part excitement and part fear. the tiny wheels rustle under me, making the entire metal object vibrate. when he's built up enough speed he adds one last push and then lets go, sending me flying down a long aisle.

at this point both of us are hysterically laughing at the playground behavior, me a bit more than him since i'm the actual victim of his childish crimes.

i end up swerving to the left and crashing into big bags of dog food, basically choking from laughter. clay jumps me from behind, poking my sides just to annoy me.

"see, sometimes you just gotta live a little!"
"like i haven't been 'living a little' all these years already," i huff, booping his nose.
"whatever man. let's just get outta here now, we've got everything i believe."

he straightens up the fallen bags before steering towards the checkouts with me, still sitting in the uncomfortable cart like his little toddler. i lean my head back, closing my eyes and just focusing on the usually distressing sounds of the grocery store. maybe today won't turn out so bad after all.