Slight mentions of self harm in here, nothing too graphic. I was trying not to but to feel the real emotion of this chapter it has to be done.
Also some slang/offencive terms towards homosexuals. I have nothing against any sexuality, its just part of a story. Sorry if it means you cant read, enjoy!
"Bye guys!" I smiled into the camera lense and looked over at Carrie Hope Fletcher as she did the same.
We both still had tears streaming down our cheeks after our Britney Spears duet. I hopped off the bed and bent over to switch off the camera, gaining a smack on the bum from Carrie. Her tiny giggle made me feel red and uncomfortable, though i'm not sure why I felt like this.
She was only joking.
I turned around and sighed internally as a lanky figure passed through the door frame
"Daniel!" Carrie screamed and ran up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He chuckled and gave her a firm squeeze back before peeling her away.
I suddenly felt green with envy. I don't know why.
Come on Phil its just a hug. Its got nothing to do with you anyway. He's not your boyfriend.
Ugh no. I'm straight.. Well, at least to them I am.
"phiiil helloooo." Carrie waved her hand In front of my face, only infuriating me more
"What?" I growled, generally shocked at my sudden mood
Dan gave me a sharp nudge in the ribs and I instantly felt awful. Not because I might have upset Carrie, but because my behavior had probably embarrassed Dan
"I'm gonna, ugh...go." Dan's face fell and my heart dropped even lower.
What is wrong with me today?
"Okay Caz, sorry about this. Ring you soon Kay?"
Caz. Since when had he called her caz?"
"Yup. Bye Caz" It was like I couldnt stop myself. Tears spilled over Carries cheeks. How could I?
*Slam*
And I was all alone.
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If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
These words are knives and often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
But Truth be told I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart
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I'd really done it now,
Dan hates me. Carrie hates me. I hate me.
The door slammed and suddenly, Dan was right in front of me.
His breath tickling my face, blood pumping faster. I'm too weak
Not now Dan
"What the fuck is wrong with you! You always act like this, It's like you're my freaking Mum. I don't need you to protect me from any human contact! Just because I'm bisexual, it doesn't mean boys overpower girls!"
These words stung. Being a bisexual still in the closet, I knew this feeling
"Fuck Dan!" What? I never swear. "I can't do this ok? I don't need you getting onto me all the time! Its not my fault Carrie is a mardy bitch!"
Dan's face was a pure mixture is shock, disgust and hurt.
"Dan, no. No im sorry do-"
He took a step away from me and I followed his steps, latching myself onto his arm and crying desperately into his bicep
"Get off me. I need to see Carrie. I SAID GET OFF"
Dan threw my body to the floor but I didn't even feel the pain.
New convulsions of pain rippled through my chest, blocking my airways.
A loud slam echoes through the apartment and he is gone, just like that.
"I love you" I whisper into the empty atmosphere.
