The mumbling of the dwarves is heard from the dining room as they set out plates and food. I can hear Dori offering Gandalf tea, and Bilbo is still telling dwarves to put things back or to stop doing something or other.
Gandalf walks from the dining room, bumps into Bombur, and smacks his head on a chandelier. I laugh out loud, but cover my mouth when he glares over at me.
"I heard that, Nossa," he says.
"Sorry," I reply.
He smiles and continues on his way, and I continue helping Fili and Kili carry a barrel of ale.
"Take it easy, boys," I say as I guide them through the doorway. I steer them to the left so they don't ram into Balin, and they set it down on the table.
"Good work, team," Fili says. We all high five, and then continue bringing food.
We haul in a ham, and then we dig into the food. I'm sitting right in between Fili and Kili, and beside us, at the end of the table, is Bombur.
"Bombur, catch!" Bofur calls from the other end of the table. He tosses a dumpling, and Bombur catches it into his mouth. We all laugh and bang our fists on the table, and Bombur throws his hands in the air in celebration.
I see Bilbo out of the corner of my eye, and he looks beyond stressed out. Food is flying through the air, and we're not the quietest group. I feel kind of bad that we absolutely demolished his pantry, but that's what we do. We're dwarves, for heaven's sakes.
"Who wants an ale?" Fili asks as he walks across the table. "Here ya go!"
He hands some of them out, and some of the dwarves yell at him to get off the table. Food is flying everywhere, and I see Dwalin pour ale into Oin's hearing horn. We once again erupt into laughter, but who could blame us. It was hilarious.
We smack our mugs together before gulping down our ale. Most of them let the ale drip down their faces and wet their beards, and I roll my eyes, chuckling softly. I drink without making a mess before smacking my mug down on the table.
After a massive burping competition, the meal is complete. I help scrape some of the leftovers into Bombur's plate, who gobbles everything down.
I can hear Bilbo muttering about being sick of dwarves, and I see Gandalf walking and talking with him. I sigh and continue cleaning up, but I still listen to their conversation.
Ori approaches Bilbo and interrupts their conversation.
"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"
Fili grins at me and walks up to him.
"Give it to me."
He takes it from Ori's hands and throws it to me like a disk. I catch it and pass it to Kili, who throws it backwards into Bifur, who stands by the sink.
"Excuse me, but that's my mother's china! It's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo exclaims nervously. Fili bounces a bowl off of his elbows before tossing it to me, and I can hear the dwarves in the dining room beginning to bang a rhythm on the table with cutlery.
Here comes a song.
"Can you not do that, you'll blunt them!" Bilbo cries.
"Did you hear that, lads and lassie? He said we'll blunt the knives!" Bofur says.
"Blunt the knives, bend the forks," Kili sings.
"Smash the bottles," Fili sings, looking at me.
"And burn the corks!" I sing, grinning.
"Smash the glasses and crack the plates... that's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" the rest of the dwarves sing, joining into our little song.
"Cut the cloth and tread the fat!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Splash the wine on every door!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl!
Pound them up with a thumping pole!
And when you've finished, if any are whole...
Send them down the hall to roll!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"
While we sing, Bifur plays a flute, Oin blows on a tea pot, and Dori drums on the table with a fork and knife. Dishes fly everywhere, and dwarves are dancing on the table.
When the song ends, everyone laughs. Bilbo pushes between Ori and I and is greeted by a nice stack of dishes. He looks surprised and is about to say something when we're interrupted by a loud banging on the door.
We all look towards the entryway, and Gandalf looks serious. He lowers his pipe from his mouth and looks around at us.
"He is here."
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I'm Staying With You (A Hobbit Fanfiction)
Fanfiction"Amrâlimê." The Lonely Mountain sits silently as the sun sets behind it, creating a canvas of brilliant reds and oranges. Nobody has dared go near that mountain for sixty years for one reason alone. Smaug the Terrible, a mighty dragon with a deep...
