Stargazing With Beilah

Ace

Sherlock's asexuality had never seemed like much of a big deal to him. He had always been far more interested in investigation than he was with romance or sex. Even as he grew older, sex had never been a very big part of his life. Sure, he'd had fleeting thoughts about it when it was mentioned by others or something of the sort, be he very rarely had any sexual thoughts of his own. He never found himself looking at other people the way that they did one another.

Even when he was younger, Sherlock didn't have much time for TV- he was far too busy with other hobbies of his to spend too much time watching some show that he didn't give a shit about. One thing on TV remained constant, though, and that was the obvious fixation of every character on sex. The sex lives of their friends, their families, themselves, their peers- there was an unreasonable amount of focus on the sex lives of others. 

As a child, it didn't make sense to him, and, years later, as an adult, he still didn't understand. 

Sherlock knew thnigs about sex- he understood the act of it and how it worked. He knew that it was important to a lot of people and that several people spent a great deal of their time thinking about it or acting on their sexual impulses. Sherlock understood that wanting to have sex with others was normal. He knew it was common. He just didn't know why he was an exception to the rule. 

He had never worried too much about standing out. He knew he was smarted than the majority of peopl around him and that he was different. People knowing that he was different wasn't a problem to him and it had never bothered him, even as a child. In fact, he liked the fact that people knew that he was different- that he was special. 

The fact that he didn't experience such a normal part of being a living creature, though, was a little strange, and even Sherlock had to admit it. 

All humans followed a basic formula and it was no shock to anyone that Sherlock didn't completely fit that formula. The complete and total lack of sex drive wasn't even too strange to most people- as far as they were concerned, the only thing in his life that was important to him in any way was his work (even if that was untrue). 

The strange thing, though, was the fact that Sherlock didn't even find other people sexually attractive. He could understand a lack of desire for sex- it was messy, strange, and he didn't have enough time to dedicate to it- but not even being attracted to people in that way? It was a bit strange, he had to admit. 

Despite that, though, it wasn't something that he thought about too frequently. Sex rarely crossed his mind- he had far more important things to be focused on, obviously- so it wasn't often that he thought about his own sexuality. Considering the fact that he didn't have much time to focus on it, let alone actually participate in sex, he didn't think about his sexuality too much, so he wasn't worried. The only time he really thought about this oddity of his was when people pointed out how strange it was- which was rarely. 

Then, Sherlock discovered the term "asexual"- a word describing a lack of sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of their gender. 

Suddenly, much of Sherlock's behaviours and feelings over the years made so much more sense than they ever had before. Especially once he learned that asexuality and aromanticism didn't go hand-in-hand, he found that things made a great deal of sense to him. 

While Sherlock didn't have a particular fixation on romance the way many others did and was far from a hopeless romantic, he did still find himself having... some romantic thoughts- particularly about his long-time friend and roommate John Watson. 

There weren't many people in his life that could put up with him. Sherlock knew that the vast majority of people couldn't deal with him. He pointed out any and every fault and small detail that he saw, he never stopped moving, he constantly had experiments going on, he had a drug problem, and, well, he had shot guns into the air on more than one occasion. Most people couldn't handle him and it was rare that he found people who not only could stand being in the same vicinity as him, but who enjoyed being with him- and who he enjoyed being with as well. 

There were, however, three particular people who were an exception to this rule and god he loved them. 

One problem that remained, though, was the fact that he was asexual and none of them were. 

Sherlock knew that Dakota, Beilah, adn John were far from what could even be considered bigots and that they supported people who identified as asexual. He had no worries about them accepting and loving him regardless of that, however, there was the small concern lingering in the back of his head. Many people who were allosexual didn't like dating asexuals, and Sherlock had no clue whether or not Beilah, John, and Dakota were these kinds of people. 

Regardless, Sherlock didn't let himself worry about it too much. He had plenty of others things on his mind, and, with everything he knew about his three love interests, he had confidence that they would accept and stay with him regardless of his lack of sexual attraction. 

Despite every odditiy that came with being Sherlock, they all loved him, and that was something Sherlock never doubted.