Portville Village

Day 20

Day20

I was perplexed as I watched the police filed in his cabin. I let my gaze  fall over the dining table where we used to eat. My gaze shifted to the CD racks, nandoon pa rin 'yung mga pinahiram kong CD's sa kanya..

♪ Don't forget about the things we did and often do

Look into your mind and see that I am next to you

Here the voices that tells you that there's someone whose

Over and watching you, But it feels like nothing's gonna

cross our ways. It's alright, I'm never giving up on you again ♫

I could still hear him singing that song to me. Waves of torture started to flood on me, pulling me under. I could still feel his cold hands twined with mine that never fails to send a zapping sensation coursing in my veins.

"He's been stabbed to death that took his life. Sampung saksak ang natagpuan namin sa katawan niya," the police noted.

No, hindi pa siya patay, naisayaw pa niya ako kahapon. I shook my head in disbelief as fat tears started to well up. My mom consoled me.

"But..."

"We believed that he's been robbed and killed. May mga nawawala ring gamit dito sa bahay niya. Mga around 8:00 am ng umaga kahapon nangyari ang krimen," he added up.

Shell shocked, my complexion turned into a deathly pallor.

"That's impossible! Kasama ko pa siya kahapon ng hapon, and we even had a date around this village! 'Di ba ma nakita mo siyang kasama ko,nung pagkadating natin dito sa village?" I interjected facing her. They all just threw me a bewildered look.

"Anak, I understand kung hindi pa rin nagsi-sink in sa'yo ang lahat. But you have to be brave, I know this is way more painful for you, but we have to accept the fact na wala na si Eslov," she said trying to calm me down.

"No! I swear kasama ko siya kahapon ng hapon and masayang-masaya pa kami!"
Bigla na lang ako niyakap ni mama at kinulong sa mga bisig niya. In a jiffy, I broke down and cried.

"Anak, that's why it's hard to bounce this off to you kahapon pa and when I spotted you sa usual place niyo kahapon wala na lang akong nagawa kundi umiyak para sa iyo. Kung pwede ko lang saluhin ang bigat na nararamdaman mo ngayon. Kaya hindi ko nagawang sabihin agad sa'yo kahapon ang nangyari, kasi hindi ko na naman kayang makita ka in a deep pain like the way you've been before upon Travis' demise." My mom said in between her tears. My knees were shaking, parang kalahating katawan ko unti-unti nang bumabaon sa lupa.

Days passed like a blur. Hindi ako lumabas ng bahay. I isolated myself from the painful realities of life. Guilt engulfed me dahil hindi ako nakapunta sa wake niya, and I heard hindi siya rito ibinurol. Umuwi ang mga parents niya and had his body cremated. Hindi dahil sa ayaw ko siyang dalawin, ayoko lang siyang makita lying in a coffin at hinding-hindi ko na siya makakausap kahit kailan. Hindi na namin magagawa ang mga ginagawa namin together dito sa Portville. It had me thinking na 'yung mga last moments namin together under the shades of mango tree, on how I read the sadness etched in his damp eyes, on how he held my hands, on how we danced, on how those last words escaped from his mouth...may ibig sabihin pala iyon. He bid goodbye to me, and the way he did it was so romantic. But a stabbing pain started to rip in my chest. I've been here before, ang mawalan ng special someone. Sa pagkakataong ito, doble pa ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Lord, bakit mo ba sila kinukuha sa akin? Bakit ganoon na lang kabilis ang mga pangyayari, ni hindi man lang kami umabot ng monthsary ni Eslov? Why?