Lucid Dream (Golden Child One-Shots)

♡ Sungyoon ♡ I Loved You

The clock finally hits 12.

But for me, it's just another night of suffering. It's just another night of reminiscing.

I tried to shut my eyes tight while laying alone in my bed, but I can still see our memories. And I don't like this feeling. I hate the fact that I still remember everything after all these years but I don't even know if you still remember who I am.

Do you even remember the day we met? I never had the intention to be friends with you in the first place. I heard a lot of things about you even before and honestly, I hated your guts, your confidence and your whole existence. I was just forcing myself to talk to you that time out of courtesy, but I never thought that we would become so much closer.

Looking back at that time, I just hope that we didn't meet each other at all.

Do you remember our first late night conversation? We were talking about astrology and our interests. We had fun talking about our personalities and we even have the same zodiac sign which I thought was pretty cool.

But now, I can't even celebrate my own birthday without remembering that yours is just a few days away.

Do you remember when I first cried to you? I was struggling with everything but you never judged me. You listened to what I said and your comfort made me feel better. It surprised me because I never really open up even to my closest friends, but I did it to someone I just met recently.

And I regret it. I shouldn't have let you know more about me. I shouldn't have showed you how vulnerable I am.

Do you remember when we used to wait for 11:11 every night? You said never believed in that thing. But I told you that you have nothing to lose if you just try, and so you did. You could've asked something for yourself just like how I always do. But every wish you made that time was for me, you wished for my own happiness and peace of mind.

Now, I just want to laugh because that was nonsense. What you did in the end proved me that 11:11 isn't real. You were right though, I shouldn't have believed in that thing.

Do you remember when you gave me a nickname? It was so annoying but cute at the same time. And it really made my heart flutter because you said you only give nicknames to people you find special. You even got annoyed once at your friend who called me by that, even if he's just teasing us. And so, I finally figured out how it feels being someone's special person.

But I would never like to hear that again though. I don't ever want to be called by that nickname again.

Do you remember the first Christmas we spent together? I was so excited to give you my handwritten letter. I don't remember much of what I wrote but I can still remember how thankful you were. I guess you were really touched huh?

I shouldn't have made an effort. I shouldn't have wasted my time. I shouldn't have poured my heart out in that letter.

Just a day after that Christmas, everything was a mess for me again. But I remember that you were there, you comforted me and made sure that I am okay. And finally, I can say that I found someone who truly cares, I found someone I can trust. You saved me from those dark days and I was very grateful for what you did.

But you shouldn't have fixed my damages. You shouldn't have gathered every piece of my broken self when you're just going to ruin me even more.

New Year's Eve finally came. We were talking all night until the clock hit midnight. I even got excited and gave you my present in advance. I was never expecting anything from you though, but I was surprised when you made me watch a video. That contained hopes and promises that you told me you will always keep, and that's what made me cherish it more. That was also the first time someone did that to me so I even saved it on my phone and played it non-stop to the point that I even memorized your whole message in that video. And that's when I was so sure...that I do like you.