Heaven and Hell Knows (5th book of Winchester Girl)

They Aren't Allowed To Kill You

Mary's POV
It was raining really badly so we stopped at a hotel in the middle of nowhere. "This looks shady." I said. "You said that about a gas station, once." Dean said getting out of the impala. "And I almost got mugged asshat." I said. We walked in and it was beautiful and dry. "Whew. Nice digs, for once. Busy night." Ricky said to the front desk guy, Chad from what his name tag read. "Any port in a storm, I guess. If you could just fill this out, please." Chad said handing Dean, Ricky, Athena, Ma and Pa paper. "Yeah." They replied. "Sir, I think... Shaving nick there. Your keys." Chad said handing them out, we get more rooms due to all of us. "Oh. Thanks. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a coffee shop, would you?" Kara asked. "Buffet. All you can eat. Best pie in the tri-state area." Chad said. "You don't say?" Dean and Kara asked smirking. I was getting food with Reece and Evelyn. "Why am I eating fruit?" Reece asked. "Because it has natural sugar in it than all that other sugar you eat." Evelyn said. "Did I upset you?" Reece asked her girlfriend. "I just look out for you." Evelyn said giving her a peck on the cheek. "You two are adorable." I said. "Thanks." Evelyn said as we sat down. "Sam, unpucker, man. Eat something." Kara said. "Yeah you need your strength." Athena said. "You sound like my mother." Ma said. "No, Demeter talks about corn, grain, muffins, and cereal, and I don't have the urge to murder Athena." Pa said. "We should hit the road, guys." Sam said. "In this storm?" Ricky asked. "It's biblical. I-it's friggin' Noah's ark out there, and we're eating pie." Sam said. "It's fox pie." Kara said. "How many hours of sleep did you get this week? What? Three? Four? Bobby's got his feelers out, okay? We have talked with every hoodoo man and root woman in 12 states." Pa said. "Yeah, well, I'm not giving up." Sam said. "Nobody's giving up. Especially me. We're gonna find a way to beat the devil and his wife, okay? Soon. I can feel it. And we will find Cas, Mari, and Alice, we'll find Adam. But you are no good to us burnt out." I said. "Yeah. Yeah, okay." Sam said. I saw Bobby was calling me. "Hey Bobby." I said. "Where is my damn niece?" He asked. "She's missing." I said. "Repeat?" Bobby asked. "Her, Cas, and Marina went to fight angels but they went missing in the process." I said. "Put one of your brothers on the phone Goldilocks." Bobby said. I handed it to Dean he answered and looked terrified. "Grumpy Moose, come on, we've actually got the night off for once. Let's try to enjoy it." Ricky said. "Calling you that from now on." Reece and Evelyn said. We were heading to the rooms, Ma and Pa had one, Sam and Athena were sharing, Kara and Dean, Ricky, Reece, Evelyn, and I. We saw a couple making out with the room next to ours. Ricky smiled pointing. "Oh, what are you, 12?" Sam asked. "Mentally and physically he isn't." I said knowing he was sometimes a five year old. "I'm young at heart." Ricky said and we opened our door seeing it was nice. "Wow. Look at this. We're like Rockefellers. Chocolates! You want yours?" Reece said. "Knock yourself out." Evelyn said. I lied on the bed that Ricky and I would share. "Whoa. Casa Erotica 13 on demand. What?" Ricky asked after seeing my grossed out face. "Isn't this place... in the middle of nowhere?" I said. "So?" Reece asked. "So what's a four-star hotel doing on a no-star highway?" I asked and we heard a lady's moan from the other room and thumping. "Find a loud channel." Evelyn said grabbing the remote and we heard a crash. "We better check it out." Ricky said. We nodded and went to the room, we knocked and then opened the unlocked door. "Hello?" We asked and saw no one. We went to the front desk. "The, uh, the room next to ours -- t-the couple that are, uh, joined at the lips -- have you seen them?" Ricky said. "Mr. and Mrs. Logan -- the honeymooners? They checked out. Is something the matter?" Chad asked. "They checked out?" I asked. "Mm-hmm. Mm, just now." Chad said to us. "Really? It sort of seemed like they were, uh... in the middle of something." I said."Yeah, it's kind of weird for honeymooners to, uh, check out without this." Reece said showing the engagement ring that was left behind. "Oh, dear. I'll just put that right in the lost and found. Don't you worry. Is there anything else I can help you with?" Chad said. "Uh, no. No, we're good." Evelyn said. "Super-fantastic." Chad said and left. "He's gay." The three replied. "What?" I asked. "Gaydar." Ricky said. "Ditto." The two girls replied. "All right, well, I'll scope out the joint, and you three keep an eye on Norman Bates over here. I mean, one night off. Is that too much to ask?" I said. "How can we help?" The others asked except Athena, Ma, and Pa who weren't around. "Sam can come with me." I said. They nodded and Sam followed me. Sam and I were looking around and saw an elephant but a man came out in a towl. "This ain't no peep show, you two!" He said. "Sorry." We said in unison blushing and leaving.
Persephone's POV
I woke up restrained with Athena and Hades. "What the hell!" I yelled. "Calm down Sweetheart." Mother said. "What the absolute hell, brothers?" Hades asked Zues and Poseidon. "Well we were invited and we needed our family." Poseidon said. "A text would nice next time." I said to my brother in law. "You're beautiful." Baldur, of course the one nice hotel we all check into has gods having their meeting, said to Kali. "You're sweet. I hate sweet." Kali said. "Sorry to interrupt. The last guest just arrived." Chad said. "So everything's ready?" Hera asked. "As it will ever be. Pantry's full." Chad said, Greeks don't even eat humans, we don't do sacrifices. "And the Winchesters?" Baldur said, what the hell are they gonna do to our family, and it will involve a death. "Suspicious, but under control." Chad said. "What are you idiots planning?" Hades asked using his king voice which is more scary than when he's regularly mad. "You have their blood?" Kali asked. "Of course I do. I'm quick. Kids never even knew what hit them." Chad said. "Thank you, Mercury." Kali said, wow Mercury changed he looks somewhat like a respectable human now. "Let's get this show on the road." Baldur said. "I asked a question what are you idiots planning." Hades said. "Well your daughter is a moron who started the apocalypse." Hecate said. "Technically it was her brother and a friend who started it not her, you witch bitch." Athena said. "Calm down everyone." Hestia said rolling her eyes at our family. "I hate this." Hades said. "You hate anything that doesn't involve maniuplating my daughter." Mother said. "Shut up Mother, we got married and I love him." I said. "You're still salty about that?" Athena asked, and I tried not laughing since I remember Reece and Evelyn teaching her slang.
Mary's POV
"An elephant?" Reece asked after we told the others. "Yeah." Sam said and I nodded. "Like, an elephant?" Kara asked. "Like, full-on Babar." I said. "So what the hell is... Where is everybody?" Ricky asked. Sam went to open the doors. "Let me guess -- it's locked. So what -- the roaches check in, they don't check out?" Reece said. I used my telekinesis nothing, Sam's canary cry nothing, Evelyn's magic nothing, and Reece's powers nothing. "Think about how we got here. That detour on I-90? The friggin' hurricane?" Sam said. "You saying we were led here?" Dean asked. "Like rats in a maze." I said. We were walking and we went to the kitchen and saw a boiling pot. "Please be tomato soup. Please be tomato soup." Dean said and we saw an eyeball. "Motel hell." Kara said. "In our line of work when has it ever been tomato soup?" Evelyn asked. We heard banging on the freezer I ran over to it. "Help us! Get us out!" A man said. I got my bobbypin out and started picking the lock. "Hurry up!" Reece said impatiently. "I'm going as fast as I... as I can." I said seeing someone behind her. "There's somebody behind us, isn't there?" Ricky asked and the person knocked us out. We were tied to chairs in the ballroom and they tightened them. "Something tells me this isn't a Shriner convention." I said. "Great observation." Athena said. "Dinner is served." Mercury said and some of the Greeks rolled their eyes mostly Athena, Ma, Pa, Poseidon, and Hestia. "Ladies and Gentleman, our guests of honor have arrived." Baldur said, they introduced themselves, and I really hate them. "Ladies and gentleman, thank you for coming. Although in all my centuries, I never thought I'd see this. This many gods under one roof. Now, before we get down to brass tacks, some ground rules. No slaughtering each other. Curb your wrath. Oh, and uh, keep your hands off the local virgins. We're, trying to keep a low profile here. Now we all know why we're here. The Judeo-Christian apocalypse looms over us. I know we've all had our little disagreements in the past. The time has come to put those aside and look toward the future. Because if we don't, we won't have one. Now we do have two very valuable bargaining chips. Michael, Icicle, and Lucifer's vessels. The question is, what do we do now? Anybody have any bright ideas? Speak up. This is a safe room." Hera said. "What do we do? We kill them!" Zao Shen said. "Kill 'em? What, so the angels can bring the back again?" Zues aaid. "I don't know what everybody's getting so worked up about! 'Cause it's just a couple of angels having a slap fight! There's no Armageddon. Everybody knows, when the world comes to an end, the Great Serpent Jormungandr rises up, and I myself will be eaten by a big wolf!" Odin said. "Here we go..." Aphrodite and Zao Shen trailed off. "Oh yeah? And why is that? Because your beliefs are so much more realistic? The whole world's getting carried around on the back of a giant turtle? And creating spiders? Ha! Give me a break!" Odin said. "Don't mock my world turtle." Zao Shen said. "And Athena created spiders not me." Aphrodite said. "What are you gonna do about it?" Odin said. "I'm gonna send you packing to Valhalla!" Zao Shen said. "You watch your mouth when you talk to me, boy!" Odin said. "Boy? I'm older than you." Zao Shen said. "No one's ever proved that." Odin said. We listened to them argue and we slowly backed away to get out of the room but a Chandelier fell in front of us. "Stay. We have to fight. The archangels -- the only thing they understand is violence. This ends in blood. There is no other way, it's them, or us." Kali said. "With all due respect, ma'am, we haven't even tried talking to them." Mercury tried but Kali tried killing him. "Kali!" Baldur said. "Who asked you?" Kali said. The doors opened and we saw Gabriel and Hermes smirking. "Can't we all just get along!" Hermes said. "Sam! Dean, Kara, Cupcake, Ricky, Witch girl, and my daughter... It's always wrong place, worst time with you all, huh?" Gabriel said and untied Reece who smiled at him. "Loki." Baldur said. "Baldur. Good seeing you too. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail." Gabriel said. "Why are you here?" Baldur asked. "To talk about the elephant in the room." Gabriel said. "Not you." Hermes said when Ganesh was going to stand up. "The Apocalypse. We can't stop it, gang. But first things first. The adults need to have a little conversation. Check you later." Gabriel said and snapped sending us to one of the hotel rooms. "Okay. Did that-- Holy crap!" Dean said looking around. "Yeah, tell me about it. By the way, next time Mae and I say let's keep driving, uh, let's keep driving." Sam said. "Okay. Yeah. Next time." Dean said. "Alright, so what's our next move?" Kara asked. "I-I-I... I don't know. Grab those poor saps outta the freezer, I guess? Bust 'em out? Gank a few freaks along the way if we're lucky?" Dean said. "And when are you ever lucky?" Hermes and Gabriel asked. Well you know what, bite me, Gabriel and Hermes." Dean said. "Maybe later, big boy." Gabriel said. "I should've known. I mean this had your stink all over it from the jump." I said. "You think I'm behind this? Please. I'm the Costner to your Houston. We're here to save your ass." Hermes said to us. "You wanna pull us outta the fire?" Ricky asked. "Bingo! Those guys are either gonna dust you, use you as bait, or use cupcake as leverage for Hades and Persephone. Either way, you're uber boned." Gabriel said. "Wow, 'cause a couple of months ago you were telling us that we need to "play our roles". You're uber boning us!" Kara said. "Ohh... The end is still nigh. Michael, Icicle, and Lucifer are gonna dance the lambada, but not tonight. Not here." Hermes said. "And why do you care?" Evelyn asked jutting out her hip. "I don't care. But, me and Kali we, uh, had a thing. Chick was all hands. What can I say? I'm sentimental." Gabriel said. "Didn't need to know that Dad." Reece said. "Do they have a chance? Against Satan and Ice Queen." Sam said. "Really, Sam?" We asked. "You got a better idea, guys?" Sam asked. "It's a bad idea. Icicle and Lucifer's gonna turn them into finger paint. So let's get going while the going's good, hmm?" Gabriel said. "Okay great, why don't you just zap us outta here then?" Kara said. "Would if I could, but Kali's got you by the short and curlies. It's a blood spell. You kids are on a leash." Hermes said. "What does that mean?" Dean asked. "It means it's time for a bit of the old black magic." Gabriel said. "Okay, yeah. Well, whatever. Well, we're gonna take the hors d'oeuvres in the freezer with us." Ricky said. "Forget it. It's gonna be hard enough sneaking you mooks outta here. "They called you Loki, right? Which means they don't really know who you are?" Kara said. "Told you. I'm in witness protection." Gabriel said. "Okay, well then how about you do what we say, or we tell the, uh, legion of doom about your secret identity. They don't seem like a real pro-angel kinda crowd." I said. "I'll take your voices away." Hermes said. "We'll write it down." I smirked. "I'll cut off your hands." Gabriel said. "Well then, people are gonna be asking, Why are you guys running around with no hands?" I said smirking knowing I won. "Fine." Gabriel said and left, we ran to get the people. "No! N-No! No! Please! Gah!" A man said as he was killed. "It's too late." Evelyn said. I was picking the lock to the freezer, but I was spun around to face Zao Shen. They dragged us back and threw us into the ballroom where the Greeks were sitting on couches reading, surprisingly no one was fighting. "Zao Shen let Mae go." Ma said. "No." He said. "You said you'd let them go." Pa said more angry then when he found out about why Ma had all those miscarriages. "That was before he was an Angel." Zao shen said pointing to Gabriel. "How long have you known?" Gabriel asked. "Long enough." Kali said. "How's the rescue going?" Dean asked. "Well, surprise, surprise. The Trickster has tricked us." Kali said. "Kali, don't." Gabriel said pleading. "You're mine now. And you have something I want. An Archangel's blade. From the Archangel, Gabriel." Kali said. "Really Loki." Hermes said trying to fake shock. "Hermes you knew." Athena said reading a book. "Okay, okay! So I got wings, like Kotex. But that doesn't make me any less right about Lucifer." Gabriel said. "He's lying. He's a spy." Kali said. "I'm not a spy. I'm a runaway. I'm trying to save you. I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends." Gabriel said. "Your story. Not ours. Westerners, I swear. The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only God. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us. An we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me. I'm sorry." Kali said and stabbed Gabriel but it obviously wasn't real nothing can kill archangels except for my lighting bolt blade. "This is crazy." Mercury said. "More fun than family reunions." Hestia said, I was shocked wasn't she supposed to represent peace and family. "They can die. We can kill Lucifer." Kali said. Ma and Pa shook their heads no, but the romans and Norse's were too busy celebrating. "All right you primitive screwheads, listen up." Ricky said. "Are you outta your mind?" Dean asked Ricky. "I'm outta options. Now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damndest to, uh, kill you. You filthy murdering chimps. But, uh, hey, desperate times. So even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm gonna help you. I'm going to help you ice the devil and his wife. And then we can all get back to ganking each other, like normal. You want Lucifer, well, dude's not in the Yellow Pages. But us, we can get him here." Ricky said. "How?" Kali asked. "First you let those main courses go. Then we talk. We can either take on the devil together, or you lame-ass bitches can eat me. Literally." I said. "Okay." They agreed. I was outside now letting everyone out. "Come on everybody! Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Alright, alright, go, go, go! Get outta here!" I said I saw the impala window rolled down and saw Gabriel. "Psst! Mae! Don't look at me! Act natural. Get in." Gabriel said and I got in. "Man, there is nothing natural about this at all. I knew you weren't dead." I said. "I knew you'd know I wouldn't give Kali my real sword? That thing can kill me!" Gabriel said. "Wait it can I thought only my old lighting bolt blade could." I said. "Nah and that would terrify me that you don't have that." Gabriel said. "Well if that's now your sword, then what do they have in there?" I said. "A fake! Made it out of a can of diet orange pop. So, uh, go snag our blood, would ya?" Gabriel said. "Why me?" I asked. "They aren't allowed to kill you due to being Hades and Persephone's daughter." Gabriel said. I rolled my eyes. "Well there's another idea that involes you." I said. "What?" He asked. "Kill Lucifer and Icicle." I said. "I can't kill my brother and his wife is scary." Gabriel said. "Can't or won't? That's what I thought." I said walked back in the hotel and was dragged by Poseidon. "Sorry." He said. "You seem nicer than the others." I said. "I am Hestia, Artemis, Zues when you get him drunk, and Apollo once you get to know him are also nice." Poseidon said. "The others?" I asked. "Demeter is a manipulative mother, Ares is basically a male asshole of Athena, Hera hates any pretty woman, Aphrodite is okay, and Dionysus is an old sot." Poseidon said. "That means old drunk." I said laughing, he nodded. We walked in and saw Kali looking at Sam and Ricky. "So you're going to summon Lucifer and Icicle." She said. "Sort of. I just need you to squeegee some stuff from my and Mae's ribs and he'll come running." Kara said. "Breaking them would be easier." Kali said. "Show's over. Sword's a fake, and Gabriel, he's still kicking. I hate to break it to you, sister, but you've been tricked." I said, not wanting a broken rib cage. Lights suddenly started flickering above us. "What's happening?" Dionysus asked. "Someone forgot to pay the electric bill old sot." I heard a guy with brown hair said. "It's them." Pa said. "How?" Kali asked. "Does it matter? Shazzam us outta here, would ya?" Dean said. "We can't." The Greeks and other gods said. "Great." Evelyn and Reece mumbled. "Of course you can't. You didn't say mother, may I?" Icicle said. "Kara, Ricky, Sam, Mary, Dean, good to see you again." Lucifer said. "Zues, don't." Hera said "You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?" Zues asked. "We sadly can't kill you, but freezing works." Icicle said freezing him put. "No one gives us the right, we take it." Lucifer said. Hera got pissed and went to fight Icicle with Hecate but Icicle threw them. I ducked behind a tipped table with Ricky and Gabriel was there. "Ready?" I asked. "Not really. Better late then never, huh? Guard this, with your life." Gabriel said handing a porn movie to Ricky. "Should we be concerned?" I asked. "Maybe this is how Reece came to be." Ricky said and I rolled my eyes. "Lucy and Icy, I'm home. Not this time. Guys! Get her outta here." Gabriel said to Sam and Dean about Kali. "Over a girl. Gabriel, really? I mean I knew you were slumming, but I hope you didn't catch anything." Lucifer said. "Lucifer, you're my brother. And I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks and I'm surprised yours never froze off with Icicle." Gabriel said. "Gross." The two teen girl said. "Wait, what did you just say to us?" The two villians asked. "Look at yourself! Boo hoo! Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys." Gabriel said gouding on Lucifer and Icicle. "Watch your tone." Icicle said. "Play the victim all you two want. But you two and me? We know the truth. Dad loved you best. More than Michael, more than me, heck he made Icicle. Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn't handle it. So this is all just one big temper tantrum. Time to grow up." Gabriel said. The four of us needed to get out of here we got up to leave but Icicle closed the doors. "Don't think about it Mary's little band." Icicle said. "Gabriel, if you're doing this for Michael..." Lucifer trailed off. "Screw him. If he were standing here, I'd shiv his ass too." Gabriel said. "You disloyal asshole." Icicle said. "Oh, I'm loyal. To them!" Gabriel said pointing to us and the others still standing. "Who? These so called gods?" Lucifer said. "Who locked up your asses?" Ma asked. "To people, Lucifer and Icicle. People." Gabriel said. "So you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches. Why?" Lucifer asked. "Because Dad was right. They are better than us." Gabriel said smiling at us. "They are broken. Flawed! Abortions." Icicle whined. "Rude." Ricky said, due to being the only ful human around. "Damn right they're flawed. But a lot of them try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearmint Rhino! I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs." Gabriel said. "Brother, don't make me do this." Lucifer said. "No one makes us do anything." Gabriel said. "I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel. But I know where your heart truly lies. "Icicle said and her and Lucifer turned around and stabbed the real Gabriel. "Daddy!" Reece screamed and we dragged her out as she was kicking and screaming. "Here. Amateur hocus pocus. Don't forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother." Lucifer said. They disappeared. The Greeks left after Hera and Zues glared at us, hey not my fault Lucifer and Icicle are bitches. We got to where Sam, Dean, and Kara were. "He gave me this." Ricky said holding a porn movie. We started playing it, weirdly Reece and I could watch it. "Dear Diary, being a high powered business president is super-fun. But sooo exhausting. Sometimes, I just need to relax. I need Casa Erotica." The woman's internal monologue said. "Room Service!" A voice said in the movie. "Come in!" The woman said. "Gabriel wanted you to guard this with your life?" Sam asked. "Maybe he's a fan. It is a good one for straight and not the gay one." Ricky said. "You are a strange man." Evelyn said. "Been called worse." Ricky said shrugging. We watched the video as Gabriel in a mustache and waiter outfit walked in. "I've got the kielbasa you ordered." Gabriel said.  "Ooh. Polish?" The woman asked. "Hungarian." Gabriel said I covered my eyes as the kissing started. "What the hell's going on?" Kara asked. "Guys. You're probably wondering what the hell is going on. Well, if you're watching this, I'm dead. Oh please! Stop sobbing, it's embarrassing for all of us. Without me, you've got zero shot at killing Lucifer, sorry! But can trap him. The cage you sprung Lucifer from? It's still down there. And maybe, just maybe, you can shove his ass back in. Not that it'll be easy. You gotta get the cage open, trick my bro back into it. And uh, oh yeah, avoid Michael and the God Squad. But hey, details, right? And here's the big secret, Lucifer and Icicle don't even know -- the key to the cage? It's out there. Actually it's keys, plural. Four keys, well, four rings. From the Horsemen. You get 'em all, you got the cage. Can't say I'm betting on you boys. But, uh, hey! I've been wrong before. And Cupcake, you were right. I was afraid to stand up to my brother, not any more. So this is me, standing up. And this is, me, lying down." Gabriel said and started making love with the woman. I closed the laptop. "Oh, uh, oh! Oh man!" I said disturbed. "Horsemen, huh? Well we got War's. We nicked Famine's. That's two down. Collect all four?" Dean said. "We get the prize." Evelyn said. "All we need is Pestilence and Death." Athena said. "Oh, is that all?" Sam asked. "It's a plan." I said. "And this is all we can do now." Ma and Pa said. "Why can't you two throw them back?" Ricky asked. "It took God, and a hoard of angels to get them to hell we can't do it." Ma said.

A\N:New chapter and this book is getting closer to done and Mae going to hell.