Heaven and Hell Knows (5th book of Winchester Girl)

You Didn't Get Wiser With Age

Mary's POV
We had to investigate a guys death and we showed our badges to the doctor. "You expect me to believe you're CDC?" The doctor asked. "Excuse me?" Sam asked. "It's just that you're a day early. First time in history I haven't sat on my ass waiting for you people." The doctor said. "New administration. A change you can believe in." Siren said. We went to the morgue and the doctor showed us the body, who looked like of natural causes of death due to age. "Meet Xavier. Date of birth, April third, nineteen eighty-four. I know. I ran the DNA twice. That's definitely him." The doctor said, well weirder things have happened in my time. "Well, he wasn't big on the sunscreen, huh?" I asked. "So, what's your theory?" Kara asked. "All I know is, decedent's male, twenty-five years old and he died of old age." The doctor said and walked away we all looked at each other. We called Bobby outside and had it on speakerphone. "You were right about this one. It's definitely a job." Dean said. "Thought so. Any other stiffs in town?" Bobby asked. "Just the one body." Alison said. "Anything else?" Evelyn asked. "Couple missing persons, but usual for a town this size." Crystal said. "Well, check 'em out." Bobby said. "You think they're connected?" Ricky asked. "Call it a hunch." Bobby said. "You got it. And, by the way, how you doing?" Dean asked. "Doing?" Bobby asked his tone clipped. "Yeah. You know, just...in general?" Ricky said in the phone. "Oh, you mean my legs. Well, I'm just weepin' in my Haagen-Dazs while taking care of a teenage witch. Idjit." Bobby said and hung up. "Word of advise don't ask how Bobby is doing he will beat you with a shotgun." I said. "Thanks for the heads up." Dean said. We were now at the house where the man lived before he went missing. "That's the most recent." The wife, Mrs. Whitlow, said handing the photo to us of Cliff, the missing person, winning a golf match. "How long has he been missing?" Sam asked. "Oh, I knew right away when he didn't come home Tuesday night." Mrs. Whitlow said. "Is there someplace he likes to go after work, maybe? A favorite bar?" Kara asked. "No. Tuesdays, he always works a bit late, but he always comes straight home." Mrs. Whitlow said. "May I use your facilities, ma'am?" I said. She nodded and pointed me in the direction and I went that way and found the office and snuck in. I looked around and found his coat I went through it and found a receipt for a motel and totaled over $250. "Working late my ass." I said. I put it in my leather jacket pocket and walked back in the living room. "I think we have all that we need." I said. "We'll let you know if we need anything else." Crystal said, we left and they turned to me. "There better be a good reason." Siren said I showed them the receipt. "Jackpot." Alison said. We got to the motel. "Well, at least he's consistent. Same room every Tuesday, hourly rates." Ricky said as we walked down the hall. "Hope I got that kind of kick when I'm his age." Siren said. "Yeah, like any of us will live that long." I said. "True." Siren said. "So... what do you think's in there?" Sam asked. "A wrinkly, gooey corpse." Dean said. "Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh! Oh, God!" We all shared a look and I kicked open the door. We looked and saw a man with a barely dressed woman. "Oh." Kara said and Ricky and I covered each other eyes. "God." Crystal finished. "It's gooey." Sam said. Ricky and I uncovered our eyes and looked at the man. "Sorry. Uh, got the wrong room." Alison said. "Close the door!" The man yelled. I noticed his tattoo was the same as Cliff's. "Hey. Nice tattoo. Happen to know anybody named Cliff Whitlow?" I asked. "Never heard of him." The man said. "Well, that's weird." I said found his pants and pulled out the wallet and found Cliff Whitlow. "Cause you're carrying his wallet." I said. Dean pulled up the sheet and looked under. "Huh. Your wife told us about your, uh, birthmark there. That's nice. Well, you look great. Cliff. Did you get some work done?" Dean said dropping the sheet. "Could you give us some privacy?" The man asked the two woman and they left. "Please don't tell my wife." Cliff said to us. "Slow down." Kara said. "I'm begging you. As far as she knows, I'm dead. For the love of God, let's keep it that way." Cliff said. "How can you possibly be Cliff Whitlow?" Ricky asked. "I can't tell you." Cliff said and I rolled my eyes. "Well, either you tell us or we tell the missus." Crystal said. "Okay! Okay! It was a game." Cliff said. "Like... XBox?" Sam asked. "What's XBox? No. Poker. High stakes. Instead of cash, you play for years." Cliff said. "What is that supposed to mean?" Dean asked. "Look, I know it sounds crazy. Guy comes up to me at a bar, invites me to play. Gives me twenty-five of these weirdo poker chips, right? Chants some mumbo humbo over them, says now they're twenty-five years. I'm laughing, but then I come out up. And look at me." Cliff said. "What was he chanting?" I asked. "How should I know? All I know is, my bad hip's good, I threw away my glasses. One of those ladies was here for free! Man's some kind of miracle worker." Cliff said. "What does this miracle worker look like?" Crystal asked. "Just a guy. Maybe thirty-five, brown hair. Irish accent. His name was Patrick." Cliff said and Crystal stiffened up, hearing that name. "All right, all right. Where's this game at?" Siren asked. "He said he likes to keep moving. Never stays in one bar long. And he finds you." Cliff said. "Thank you, Cliff." Ricky said. We headed for the door and Dean turned around. "Oh, and, uh...stay classy." Dean said, Kara snacked him upside the head. Dean has Bobby on speaker phone talking to him. "It sounds crazy, right?" Dean said to him. "No. There's lore on it. Goes back centuries. Traveling card player pops into town. You beat him, you get your best years back." Evelyn said. "Course, most folks lose." Bobby said. "Well, that would explain the crunchy corpse." I said. "Supposedly, this player's a hell of a card shark. Got a lot of years in the bank. You find the bar he's working in yet?" Bobby asked. "There's a lot of dives in this town. We're gonna have to split up." I said. "Well, why you still talking to me?" Bobby said and hung up.
Evelyn's POV
I looked as Bobby hung up. "You better not going to do something stupid." I said. "Evelyn, I'm the one incharge." Bobby said. "Yes, and I'm above my hundreds." I said. "Whatever I'm taking you on a field trip." Bobby said getting his keys and I followed him. We got in his car and he drove in and I remembered the description Mae and Dean gave us. "Oh no." I mumbled. "What?" Bobby asked. "Well this Patrick and I kinda have a past." I said. "What past?" Bobby said. "The sex was good." I said awkwardly. "Evelyn." Bobby said. "What it was before I went over the rainbow." I said.
Mary's POV
I was on the phone with Sam. "Find anything?" He asked. "Yeah, a whole bunch of squat. You?" I asked, him. "No, not a thing except people keep getting Siren and I mixed up." Sam said. "All right. Well, you come up dry, circle back to the motel in two. Ricky's turn to grab dinner." I said. "Usual for the three of you?" Ricky asked. "Extra bacon." I said. I hung up and sat next to Dean and Crystal at the bar. "Can I get a beer?" Crystal asked. "Yep." The bartender said. "You wouldn't happen to know of a poker game going on in back, would you?" Dean said. "It's a bar, not a casino." The bartender said giving Crystal a beer. "Please." Crystal said flirting. "Round back. Take the elevator down, and when should we meet up beautiful?" The bartender asked. "Oh I can go now the two others can see." Crystal said taking the bartenders hand. As Dean and I walked around back and we heard something clatter and we saw Bobby and Evelyn. "Bobby? Evelyn? What the hell are you two doing here?" We asked. "Planting daisies. What's it look like? Came in on the case." Evelyn said. "And you two beat us here?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Well, brains trumps legs, apparently." Bobby said. "So, you found the game?" Dean asked. "Yep." Bobby and Evelyn said. "Did you stop it?" I asked. "Bobby?" Dean asked as Bobby looked guilty. "Not exactly." Bobby said. "What did you do? What did he do?" I asked both Bobby and Evelyn. "I played, okay?" Bobby said. "And?" Dean asked. "He lost." Evelyn said. "Are you kidding me? You played some—some he-witch?" I said pissed off at Bobby. "Don't you take that tone with me." Bobby said, and I nodded scared, I might be a Princess of Hell but Bobby scares me. "You idiot!" Dean yelled more pissed then me at Bobby. "They're my years! I can do what I want!" Bobby said. "How many did you lose?" Dean asked. "He lost twenty-five." Evelyn said as Bobby aged. "We're not done." Dean said going in the elevator. "I'm heading back to the motel." I said and walked back and got on the bed lying down. I saw Ma texted me.
Ma:Do you know where Bobby and Evelyn are?
Mae:Yeah they are joining us on this case.
Ma:What is it?
Mae:A witch who plays poker for your life years.
I got off my phone and saw Bobby, Evelyn, and an old Dean come in. I lost it laughing and fell off the bed. "Not funny Mae." He said. "Sorry, but you do not age well." I said. Dean went into the other room with Bobby and Evelyn I saw Sam, Ricky, and Siren walk in followed by Kara and Alison. "Food." I said and took my burger, fries, and milkshake. "Hey, Dean? You find anything?" Sam asked as I ate. "Uh, you might say." Dean said and Dean came out and Sam and Kara took out their guns. "Who the hell are you!" Kara asked. "Guys, relax. It's me." Dean said uncaring. "Dean?" Alison asked. "Hi." Dean said waving and taking his burger. "What the hell happened?" Ricky asked. "I, you know...found the game." Dean said. "You f—I thought you said you were g-good at poker." Sam said confused. "I am. Shut up. So, you were just gonna shoot some old guy? Is that it?" Dean said. "Guess your now a cougar due to dating Kara." Siren said and I saw Crystal walk in and see old Dean. "Found the poker game." She said and sat down on the bed. "I didn't know what you were. I mean, have you seen you?" Sam said, back to his reasoning for almost shooting Dean. "I look like old chick in Titanic." Dean said. "I think more Emperor Palpatine." Ricky said. Bobby rolled in with Evelyn walking in. "I see you met John McCain there." Evelyn said. "Yeah. Any of you four want to tell us what happened?" Kara said. "Bobby's an idiot. That's what happened." Dean said. "Hey, nobody asked you to play." Bobby argued. "Right. I should have just let you die." Dean said. "And for damn sure, nobody asked you to lose!" Bobby said. "It's like Grumpy Old Men." Crystal and Siren said. "Shut up, you two." Bobby and Dean said in unison. "What the hell were you both thinking? He's a witch. He's been playing poker since guys wore tights." Evelyn said. "You all just don't get it." Bobby said. "Yeah, we get it, Uncle Bobby. You saw a chance to turn the hands of the clock back and get out of that damn chair. Pretty tempting. I can imagine." Alison said. "No, you can't." Bobby said. "You got us. We never been paralyzed. But I'll tell you something— I've been to hell, and there's an archangel there wanting me to drop the soap. Look at me! My junk's rustier than yours! You hear me bellyaching? Huh?" Dean said, and we heard a stomach rumble. "Uh, actually, yeah." I said. "Oh! I'm having a heart attack." Dean said. "No, you're not." Bobby said. "What is it?" Dean asked. "Acid reflux. Guys your age can't digest certain foods. You're gonna need to put down that cheeseburger." Evelyn said. "So, you want to keep emoting, or you want to talk about solving this little issue of yours? It's got to be about the chips." Bobby said. "I slid 'em across, Patrick did his little witchy number, and you prettied up in a hurry." Dean said to us. "I mean, what are you all thinking? Some kind of magic chips or something?" Ricky asked confused. "Definitely." Bobby said. "You remember what he chanted?" I asked. "Yep—every word." Evelyn said, Bobby nodded. "All right, then let's find out where he stashes his chips." Ricky said. "And steal me fifty. Benjamin Button me back into burger shape. What do you think?" Dean said. "I think you better put some clothes on." Kara said. Dean got fully dressed and there was a knock on the door. "Ready for housekeeping, sir?" A maid asked. "Born ready." Dean said. "You're just like my grandfather. He hits on anything that moves, too. You're adorable." The maid laughed. "And dangerous." Dean said. "Aw." The maid said. I looked at Kara glaring at Dean angrily. "You didn't get wiser with age." I said, seeing as Dean flirted with anything in a skirt. "Can we just go?" Dean said. We drove to where Patrick was and followed him to his apartment and watched him leave in his car. We got there and opened the door and letting the others in. "Well, I'm out." Bobby said and we saw the elevator was broken. "I'll stay with him." Evelyn said. We were jogging up the stairs well most of us Dean was lagging behind. "Dean." Alison said and Siren pointed to the level number. "You are all trying to kill me." Dean said. "Ugh I know how to make this easier." I said I grabbed them and I teleported us to the floor we needed to be on. "Thank you demigod." Crystal said. Ricky picked the lock and we got in I found a fake wall and got it out and saw a safe. "Guys." I said they came over. "Dime-store model. Piece of cake." Dean said and was trying to open it while failing. "It's like Mission: Pathetic. Watch out." Siren said and opened it and looked at Dean. "I could have done that." Dean said we started grabbing the chips. "What are you doing?" A lady asked we turned and saw her. "Aren't you the chick from the bar?" Dean asked. "I'm a lot more than that." She said and started killing Dean. "It's all right, Lia. It's all right. They're harmless." Patrick said, Evelyn had a picture of him. "You kids want chips? Take 'em. They're just chips, Einsteins. It's showmanship. This may come as a shock, but the magic does not lie in a pile of crappy plywood or in any phony abracadabra. It's in the nine-hundred-year-old witch. You guys want years? Score 'em the old-fashioned way. Texas hold 'em." Patrick said. "Why did I ever sleep with you again?" Crystal said. "Fine. Let's do it." Dean said, what is with my brothers and wanting death. "What card am I holding up? That's what I thought. If your eyesight's that bad, what about your memory? I'm not a murderer. You four, on the other hand..." Patrick said looking at Sam, Kara, Ricky, and I. "No, guys." Dean said. "Dean." Kara and Sam said. "I'm not playing." Ricky and I said. "Okay, what, Sam and Kara not much of a player? Okay, well, happy trails, Dean. Enjoy the twilight of your life. Should have taken better care of that ticker, though. You're free to go." Patrick said. "Dickwad." Alison said. We left but Patrick stopped Ricky, Sam, Kara, and I. "Oh, but, Sam, Kara, Ricky, and Mary... Your brother's/boyfriend situation—that's punishment enough, but I can't let you all leave without a small parting gift." Patrick clapped three times. "What are you doing?" Sam asked. "You'll find out soon enough." Patrick said. "Let's get out of here, guys. I need to shower the Patrick off of me." Crystal said. We left and Dean was scratching his head. "Dudes... I believe that he-witch gave us the clap." Dean said Sam and Kara glared and marched off. "Well they're pissed." Siren said. We were walking up a slope and Bobby couldn't get up. "Little help here?" He said. Evelyn ran down and got him. "You know, I still think we should play." Kara said. "No, no, no. You're both not good enough. I'm better. Bobby's way better. We both lost." Dean said. "Exactly." Bobby said. "So, what? So we don't get a say in this anymore?" Sam asked mad. "Sammy, Kara, when you get to be our age." Dean said, is my brother serious now. "You're thirty, Dean! Look, we've watched you hustle plenty of poker games." Kara said. "Knowing the game is not enough, guys. It's not about playing the cards." Bobby said. "It's about playing the other guy. We know that." Sam said. "Well, hooray for you. All they're saying is, they played this guy. They know his style. Bobby can take him." Evelyn said and Bobby nodded. "Why not you Evelyn?" Ricky asked. "I'm in my frickin hundreds wise guy." She said. "No, Bobby. You don't have enough years in the bank." Dean said. "I got enough." Bobby said. "No, you'll die if you lose, Bobby." I said. "So what if I do, huh? What exactly am I living for, huh? The damn apocalypse? Watching men die bloody while I sit in this chair, can't take a step to help 'em?" Bobby said, I sighed, not wanting another one of my father figures to die. "Uncle Bobby." Alison said. "No, no. It's the facts. I'm old...and broke down...and I can't... I ain't a hunter no more. I'm useless. And if I wasn't such a coward, I'd have stuck a gun in my mouth day I got home from the hospital." Bobby said. "Bobby, you are not playing again. I'm not letting you do that. There's another way out of this. There's got to be. And I'm gonna find it." Kara and Sam said leaving us. We were now sitting in the motel room and I had my legs on Ricky's lap. "Take it. It'll help you." Lia said walking in and giving us a piece of paper. "What is this?" Bobby asked. "The most powerful reversal spell you've ever laid your eyes on." Lia said. "And it reverses what?" Crystal asked raising an eyebrow. "Patrick's work—all of it." Lia said. "You—you saying I could be normal again?" Dean asked smiling. "You and everyone else he's ever played. Who's still alive." Lia said. "Why the hell should we trust you?" Siren asked. "Trust me, don't trust me. I don't care. The spell is real." Lia said. "If it zaps everyone, don't that include your man?" Alison asked. "And me, too. I look good for my age." Lia said. "Lady, this don't add up for squat." Evelyn said. "Why would you want that?" I asked. "I have my reasons. Do it quick. We leave town tomorrow." Lia said. We all looked at each other. I was now in a graveyard digging a hole with Dean to get jawbone of a murderer.  "Jawbone of a murderer. Great." I said still digging. "You know, this really sucks. How do we even know her spell's gonna work?" Dean asked us. "We don't. But we ain't got a Plan B. Now, less flappin' and more diggin'." Bobby said to us. "Oh, God! My elbows! I'm all creaky." Dean said. "Hurry up, you crybaby." Bobby said. "Pound it up your ass, Ironsides." Dean said. "One little grave." Bobby said to him. "Then you do it." Dean said. "Fine. I'll hop right in." Bobby said. "Well, least your legs are numb." Dean said. "Shut up and dig, Grandma." Bobby said. "Oh! Now it's my back!" Dean said, if he didn't shut up I'm kicking him in the ass. "Can you straighten up?" Bobby asked. "Yeah, but a little sympathy wouldn't hurt." Dean said. "Butt cheek tingling?" Evelyn asked coming in the graveyard with Alison and Ricky. "Well, that's kind of personal." Dean said. "So yeah?" I asked. "It's sciatica. You'll live. Keep digging." Bobby said. "I am." I said. "You know, Bobby, killing you is officially on my bucket list." Dean said. "Okay, Dean you stop digging I'll finish it." I said. We got back to the bar and Kara ran out with a toothpick. "How's it going in there?" Crystal asked. "How do you think it's going? What about you? You have everything you need?" Kara said. "We still need a little he-witch DNA." Siren said. "He was chewing it. Hurry up, guys. Please." Kara said. "All right. Just keep him busy. And, Kara...don't lose." Alison said. We were now doing the spell with Evelyn and Crystal saying it. "Na hogalachd. Gairmidh mi air sucellus, dia na time. Till an-dràsda obair uile gu bheilair a bhith deànta. Mar sin bitheadh." Evelyn said. "Drop it in." Crystal said and Dean did and we all looked at a still old Dean. "Well? How do I look?" Dean asked. "Sadly an eighty year old." Siren said. We were now sitting in the back of the van. "Everything we put in that spell was kosher." Alison said. "Yeah, everything except the damn toothpick." Ricky said. "You got to go get a speck of DNA. Strap on your track shoes." Bobby said. "Oh, goody. More stairs." Dean said. "Come on." I said to the two men. I left the van with with them. I teleported with them to the top apartment Ricky was on the phone with Bobby. "It's too damn clean in here. First witch I ever heard of didn't spew bodily fluids all over the place." Ricky said. "Toothbrush, comb—anything." Bobby said to us. We were looking and saw a wine glass with a little wine left undrunk. "Sam and Kara." Dean said and slumped to the ground. "Dean!" I yelled running over to him. I tried shaking him but he lied still. "No, you can't go this way I need you alive you moron." I said crying. I soon saw Dean age back to the age before the poker game. He looked at my tear stained face. "I knew you'd always miss me." He said. I smacked him over the head. "You pissed her off you moron." Ricky said. "Guys?" Bobby asked over the phone. "Dean's okay." Ricky said. "You Idjits made me worry for nothing." Bobby said. I teleported Ricky, Dean, and I back to the van. We were now at the motel and talking to Sam and Kara. "No tricks—you two actually beat the guy?" Crystal asked. "How the hell?" Siren asked upside down on the bed. "Just lucky." Kara said. "Hey. I'll see y'all guys later." Sam said. "Where you going?" I asked. "Uh...mm, nowhere." Sam said. "Sam." Kara said worried about him. "A booster shot. Don't say it." Sam said leaving. Dean put down the border he was eating. "Well, I guess we can get the van loaded." Evelyn said. "I shouldn't have called you an idiot." Dean said to Bobby. "Which time?" Bobby asked. "I'm sorry. I mean, I actually—I, I—I get it. Getting old ain't a bachelor party. And dealing with the crap you got to deal with." Dean said. "Don't you go on pity patrol." Bobby said. "I'm not. I'm not. I'm just...I'm saying, you know, if I was in your shoes..." Dean trailed off and I rolled my eyes at my older brother. "You'd never stop complaining." Ricky finished for Dean. "Fair enough. You're not useless, Bobby." Dean said full heartily. "Okay. Good talk." Bobby said. Bobby rolled away and Evelyn followed with Crystal and Alison. "No, wait a minute. Listen to me. You don't stop being a soldier 'cause you got wounded in battle. Okay? No matter what shape you're in, bottom line is, you're family. I don't know if you've noticed, but me and Sam, we don't have much left. I can't do this without you. I can't. So don't you dare think about checking out. I don't want to hear that again." Dean said. "Okay." Bobby said. "Okay. Good." Dean said. "Thanks. Now, we done feeling our feelings? 'Cause I'd like to get out of this room before any of us start growing lady parts." Bobby said. "Kinda hard when three of us were born with them." Alison said. "Yeah, we're done. Let's go, Ironsides." Dean said. "Oh, that one's sticking, huh?" Bobby asked. "Most likely." Ricky said. I made sure my duffel bag was in Ricky's car and I got in Siren in the back and I heave Siren headphones and an iPod to keep him quiet. "Thanks Mae." He said. "No problem." I said shrugging.

A\N:Whoever said high school would be the best years of their lives must have been homeschooled my first week had me having to fix my schedule due to not having a gym class, getting a headache the first day due to loud noises, and let's not forget now with the virus having to wear masks and get our temperature checked, also on the bus a seventh grader believes I'm a bitch when I all I said to them was, 'hi'.