A Quick Fix (Oneshot Collection)

Sp'ghett (Metallica)

Notes: This chapter is actually based on a prompt I received on Tumblr a while back. Finally got around to writing it as I thought it would fit in perfectly with this series. So yeah... This one goes out to the anonymous person who requested this. Enjoy!

Kirk makes vegetarian spaghetti and meatballs for his boyfriend James.

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James is hovering around Kirk as the brunette prepares dinner. Kirk is trying his best to ignore the other man as he toils over the stove, but he has to push him away several times. He's like a child constantly asking questions, then following up the answer you give him with why?... Don't get him wrong, he loves his boyfriend, but James is starting to work Kirk's last nerve.

"Is this a lab or something? What kind of experiments are you cooking up this time?" James comments, peeking over Kirk's shoulder when the smaller man boxes him out of view.

"I told you I'm making spaghetti," Kirk replies, mixing all his ingredients together in a large glass bowl.

"I see the noodles, but what the hell is that?" James questions as he points a finger at the bowl.

"Meatballs, but without the meat," Kirk giggles when he notices just how hysterical James is getting.

"How the hell do you make meatballs without meat?" James asks. He glances over Kirk's shoulder and steals a glimpse of the concoction and cringes. "Ew! It's all grey! What the hell did you put in that shit?"

"Just some brown rice, cauliflower, quinoa, breadcrumbs, tofu..." Kirk lists off. He's really digging his hands into the hodgepodge mixture of a dozen ingredients, including ones he didn't mention, but pauses briefly. "I didn't use beans this time though. Sometimes it turns out weird when I use beans..."

"Oh, well, thank God for that," James remarks sarcastically. It goes over Kirk's head, however. James is both horrified and fascinated by the sight before him and can't seem to take his eyes off Kirk's creation. "I feel like I should be calling you Victor Frankenstein with all the abominations you create in this kitchen."

"Talk shit all you want, but I know for a fact that your ass is still gonna eat these balls," Kirk taunts. The moment James cracks a wide smile and lets out a snicker, Kirk knows that was a poor choice of words. "Don't even start, James."

"I wasn't gonna say nothin'!" James titters, holding his hands out in front of him as Kirk swats him away. James reels back in exaggerated horror when Kirk's messy hand comes into contact with him. "Ew! Don't touch me with the fake mystery meat!"

"Sit down and be quiet so I can finish making dinner," Kirk orders, putting a hand on his hip as he glares at James adorably.

"Yes, sir," James huffs out with an amused laugh.

James sits down at the dining table as he waits patiently for Kirk to finishing cooking. James might be taking the piss out of Kirk being a vegetarian and substituting meat with... interesting alternatives... but he's so hungry at this point he honestly doesn't care. Not all of Kirk's vegetarian food was bad. He made tofu stir fry a few times and James enjoyed that. James just really likes meat, okay? Sometimes he needs a nice piece of steak. Which Kirk totally respects. They both understand each other's preferences and needs.

But now Kirk is messing around with the sacred dish of spaghetti and meatballs. A classic which James has rejoiced in eating on many occasions. James was a little on the fence to say the least, but he was willing to give it a shot if it makes Kirk happy. Who knows? He might end up liking it. And just as his stomach starts to growl Kirk spins around, producing two plates of spaghetti and meatballs. Kirk trots over towards the dining table and sets a plate down in front of James with a bright smile.

"Dig in!" Kirk announces, sitting down in the chair directly across from James.

James stares down at his plate. Well, after Kirk's put the sauce on it, it looks like an ordinary plate of spaghetti, but James knows better. He picks at it with his fork for a few moments, pushing the meatballs around precariously. Kirk just rolls his eyes and twirls noodles around his fork while also scooping up a vegetarian-friendly meatball. James watches as Kirk shovels it into his mouth, face contorting into a wince. After Kirk finishes chewing he looks over at James and points at him with his fork.

"Don't play with your food. Eat it before it gets cold," Kirk scolds, already going for another bite. He sees the look of apprehension written on James' face and shakes his head. "It's not that bad, I promise."

"Okay, fine!" James heaves out with a embellished sigh, copying Kirk method of collecting spaghetti. "But only because I love you so much."

James gazes down at his fork full of noodles and vegetarian meat and can't stop the grimace that twists his expression. He raises it up to his mouth and tediously slides it past his lips. He can see Kirk watching him intently, waiting for his reaction no doubt, and chews through his mouthful painfully slow. The texture of the vegetarian meatball is kind of weird to James, but with all the seasonings Kirk put into it, it wasn't half bad. James isn't about to toss meat out of his diet anytime soon, but it's alright.

"So? What do you think?" Kirk asks expectantly.

James starts to gag, obviously over exaggerated and a joke made at Kirk's expense, making Kirk roll his eyes once again. James then acts like he choking, pounding on his chest with a closed fist as he pretends to cough up Kirk's food. Kirk isn't having it though and is well aware of what James is doing.

"You see that? Your vegetarian goulash nearly killed me!" James states over dramatically, clutching at his throat.

"Oh, shut up. You know you like it. You just don't wanna admit it, you big meathead," Kirk sighs, but he can't help the little smile that spreads across his cheeks.

"I don't understand how you can be a fucking vegetarian," James says.

"I just don't believe in eating meat," Kirk states in a matter-of-fact tone, eating some more.

"You don't eat meat, but you'll suck my dick like there's no tomorrow," James remarks, making Kirk spit his food out suddenly.

"James Alan Hetfield!" Kirk admonishes, blushing furiously as he throws a meatball at his boyfriend.

"What was that for?!"