NOT SO GOOD BOY

Episode 41

"Yah! Yah! Did you see how Kim Donghyun won against that American guy!" Hansol yelled across the table, shovelling sticky rice into his mouth.

"You fcking bet I did!" Another teammate answered. "All the talk about genetic make up is a bunch of bs."

The table laughed.

"I bet if I had one of those in front of me I would bust him down easy." Chansuk added.

"Just go to Itaweon, there are plenty of them there."

"Yeah tell me about it! Invading the fcking city."

Jungkook sat there, in the middle of the table, surrounded by racist slurs and stupid comments. It felt like everything around him was fast forwarded, and he couldn't jump on a train already at full speed.

He picked at the instant noodles in front of him, following the little oil bubbles floating around as he stirred his chopsticks in the cup gently.

He was bored.

These people he used to spend most of his time with bored him.

Now that he wasn't taking part in these conversation and just looking at them interact, they really just looked like a bunch of monkeys squeaking about at each other.

They spoke loudly and with mouthfuls of food, only to say meaningless things.

Never in his life, had Jungkook felt so out of place.

His eyes wondered to a table behind them, where Yeongsu now sat next to Namjoon, Hoseok and Jimin.

He didn't recall his best friend being close to any of them, but he seemed to be hitting it off pretty well.

Yeongsu seemed to be telling some story, as talkative as ever as the others listened to him attentively.

They were laughing.

Yeongsu was all out bawling as he repeatedly slapped Namjoon's shoulder, his laughter booming around the cafeteria, Namjoon was biting down on a chuckle, Hoseok was smiling softly and Jimin was giggling.

As he looked at the picturesque scene, a dull feeling of jealousy bloomed in his chest.  The sun seemed to shine brighter at their table, they seemed happier, even their food seemed tastier than the bland noodles he had bought at the school's convenience store.

He wanted to join them. Wanted to have friends that didn't jump on every occasion to question his masculinity, friends who supported him and comforted him if he needed it, friends who he enjoyed spending time with.

Just... friends.

But he was glued to his seat, legs unresponsive and eyes staring longingly at the scene. Instead of fighting it, he simply stayed seated, dipping for the rest of his noodles and slurping them quickly.

Maybe if he got out of there he could breath easier.

His eyes shot up to the bright table one last time, but this time, they met Jimin's.

The boy noticed as well, and offered the softest of smiles.

Ah fuck... there he goes again.

"I'm leaving." Jungkook said as he stood up, the table yelling a uniform goodby as he left.

He aired into the pretty much empty hallways, trying his best not to meet anyone's eyes.

Walking around like this was foreign to him. He usually spent his day either in the cafeteria with the MCSC members or in his classroom. But the halls were somewhat soothing compared to the loud cafeteria and buzzing classrooms.