JJBA One-Shots Because Yes. (And Other Things...)

Abbacchio x Reader: Family Guy Cutaways.

Requested by: A fair amount of people.

(My favorite E-Girl, anyone else thinkin' the same? 💅😌 Also, read the Author's Note at the end if you want to know what the hell is up with my brain.)

"Abbacchio! W-Wait up!"

You were currently trying to catch up with your boyfriend after he started to leave when you saw a butterfly. You just thought that it was so pretty, so you had to stop and try to take a picture. He knew this'd take about forever, so he decided to start leaving the park without you. He probably made a good decision, because it took you ten minutes to actually get a picture of the damn butterfly, and he was already getting close to your apartment. You ran as fast as you could to catch up with him, and once you did, you tugged in his arm to make him stop.

Thankfully, he stopped, so you could take the next two to three minutes to catch your breath. "Geez (Y/n), you don't even take this long while waiting for the women's bathroom line to move during an intervention at a musical," Abbacchio said. You said nothing as you caught your breath, but found that Abbacchio was also being strangely quiet. You looked up at him as you finished catching your breath. "Are you okay?" you asked him. He nodded. "Yeah, I was just waiting for a Family Guy cutaway to happen, but I guess it's not coming." "Uh-huh...," you muttered, not fully knowing what the hell he was talking about. "Anyways, we can keep walking now, I finished catching my breath." "Took you long enough," he murmured. You playfully hit his shoulder. "Hey!" He just chuckled in response. "Sorry, sorry," he apologized, waving your balled up hand away from him as the two of you made your way back to the apartment.

Once the two of you got back to your comfortable home like abode , he went into the living room and sat on the couch, picking up the remote. He flipped through some apps until he got to Hulu, and clicked on it. One of his brows raised when it went to the login screen instead of the profile selection screen. "(Y/n), what's up with the Hulu thing?" he questioned. You walked into the living room and looked at the TV. "Oh! I cancelled our Hulu subscription. It was just getting pretty expensive, y'know?" you answered, not knowing that he was now fuming.. Mega mega fucking fuming. 

"YOU WHAT?!" he screeched. You flinched at his sudden outburst. "Abbacchio, I had to! We wasted too much money on it!" you stated, trying to calm him down. Nothing was working, though. "(Y/N), YOU KNOW THAT HULU IS WHAT I USE TO WATCH FAMILY GUY ON! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!" he exclaimed. "This is worse than the time I got donuted by that guy!" he yelled.

*begin cutaway*

[Abbacchio is minding his own business, enjoying a cup of coffee while sitting at a table.]

[A millennial walks up to him, seemingly angry for no reason whatsoever.]

Millennial: "Hey dumbass, you like donuts?!"

Abbacchio: "Wh-What..?"

[The angry millennial suddenly pulls out a box of donuts from nowhere, and starts chucking them at Abbacchio.]

[Abbacchio becomes frightened, and starts shaking, just barely holding back tears.]

Millennial: "How do you like that, punk?! Huh?! HUH?!"

Abbacchio: *crying* "S-Stop! It's actually starting to hurt!"

[Abbacchio sobs as his pleas were ignored.]

[The box of donuts becomes empty, and Abbacchio lays on the ground, unconscious.]

[The angry millennial turns to the camera with a blank face.]

Millennial: "We changed it so he doesn't die."

*cutaway ends*

You were speechless. "What the hell was that..?" "What do you mean, 'What the hell was that?'" he asked, his arms crossed in an angry manner. "That thing.. with the donuts," you replied. "Oh that? Well, since I can't watch Family Guy anymore, I have to start creating my own cutaways," he said plainly. "Wha- Why?!" you exclaimed. You needed answers. "Because, this is what happens when you cancel our Hulu subscription! We become the new Family Guy!" he responded loudly. "But we don't even have a family!" you reasoned. "So? Quagmire doesn't have a wife or children, and he still gets just about as much screen time as anyone else!" Abbacchio fought.