Falling For My Mentor Jake Peralta X Reader

24. Coming home

Jake is sat by my side when I wake up. His eyes are red and his face is slightly wet. "Jake?"
He looks embarrassed as he looks up and wipes at his face. "Yeah?"
"What's wrong?" He shakes his head and I sigh. "You don't have to pretend, you can tell me."
He stays silent for a moment. "I just feel guilty." He murmurs.
"We both know I can't remember what happened, but please don't blame yourself."
He nods a little. "I'll try... Did you speak to your parents then?"
"Yeah, I had a load of missed calls from my mum, she didn't even know I was in hospital."
He frowns. "I saw your brother and I told him everything, I thought he'd tell them."
"Oh." I look down as tears start to form but I blink them away. I shouldn't be surprised, I know what he's like.
"I'm sorry, I'd have called her if I knew."
"It's okay. She tried to convince me to go home, I told her I didn't want to. I'm glad I did, I don't want to see my brother."

We sit in silence as we wait for the doctor to see me. She finally arrives with all the medication I need to take. She puts it on the bed and leaves. I tentatively get out of bed and wince as pain stabs at my side. Jake is by my side instantly. "Are you okay?"
I nod maybe a little too vigorously. "I'm fine, honestly." I grimace as I bend down to put some shoes on and pack my few things into a bag.
Jake picks up my bag and moves towards the door. "Ready to go?"
I smile slightly and nod.

I shiver slightly as we step outside. It's late evening and there's a strong wind. Without a word, Jake takes his jacket off and puts it over my shoulders. I smile as I hold it in place. "Thank you, for everything, Jake."
"You don't need to thank me."
"Of course I do, this can't be easy for you."
"It's fine, I know it must be worse for you. I'll do whatever it takes to get your memories back."
I smile. "Thank you."

I stare out of the window during the silent drive home. I didn't know what I could say though, I feel like I barely know Jake now and I don't want to ask too many questions. I could tell he was upset, even if he wouldn't admit it.

When we arrive, I follow Jake into the apartment. "We picked a nice place." I laugh a little.
"Well, we viewed a few that day but you managed to find something wrong with all of them but this one." He grins at the memory.
"I'm not surprised." I glance around the room and notice a photo album on the table infront of the sofa. I pick it up and sit down. The pictures are from our wedding at the precinct. "We got married at the precinct?" I murmur as I gently trace my finger over the pictures.
He nods. "We had a big venue booked but someone planted a bomb."
"Oh..." I put the album down as tears well up in my eyes.
Jake picks up the album and puts it in a drawer. "I'm sorry, I should have moved it."
I shake my head. "It's not your fault. It's just, your wedding is supposed to be the best day of your life and I can't even remember mine..." The tears spill down my face as I go into the bathroom and shut the door.

I've been sat against the door for roughly half an hour before there's a light knock at the door. "Y/N?"
I shuffle forwards as Jake gently pushes on the door. He enters once there's enough space and sits next to me on the floor. Wiping away my tears, I look over at Jake. He seems to spend most of his time worrying about me yet I barely even remember who he is. "I think I should go somewhere else."
"What do you mean?" He frowns.
"I don't think it's fair on you if I stay here. I can barely remember you and I can see what it's doing to you."
He shakes his head. "I want to look after you, I promised I would."
"I just don't think it's fair on you. You still need to work and you shouldn't have to have the burden of looking after me."
"Holt said I can take off as much time as I need."
I sigh. "But you shouldn't have to."
"You don't understand." He murmurs.
"Of course I don't understand." I snap. "I can't remember what happened since God knows when and now I'm just supposed to let an almost stranger look after me?" My face falls as tears trickle down Jake's face. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean that, I'm just confused."
He sighs. "I know."
"I'm really tired, I'm gonna go to bed."

I quickly exit the bathroom and navigate my way to the bedroom. It takes me a few tries before I find the correct drawer with pjamas in it. Once I've changed, I slip into bed and turn the lights off. It feels strange being here even though it's my home.

After laying here for quite some time, unable to sleep, I go into the living room. Jake seems to be sound asleep on the sofa so I move quietly, which was difficult as there wasn't much light so I could barely see where I was going. I find the drawer where the wedding album was moved to and quietly get it out.

I sit on the bed and slowly flip through the pages. In the back there's some from what I assume was our honeymoon. As I flip through the pages I desperately will my memories to come back to me but no matter how hard I try, nothing happens. I fall asleep with the album open next to me.