Stormy Eyes

Chapter Nine: Revisiting the Past

*Carter's POV*

I did not know how I felt about telling Espen my family history, my history. 

It has been a few weeks since the girl ran into me on my way out of the building. Her frightened and apologetic eyes stayed with me even after I had made substantial distance between myself and the building. I felt bad for being such an ass toward her even though I knew how bad she had felt for making me drop everything on the floor. 

It has been a while since that day and I would never have guessed that such a strong, but vulnerable girl would make a constant reappearance in my life. Every time she had caught me off guard. 

I feel as though I can trust her and I do owe her the truth, considering. I do worry that she sees me differently after she hears about the darker parts of me. As surprised as I am with myself of how she could have this effect on me, to want her presence on a shitty day, it also doesn't. 

"Carter?" I looked at the girl who sat across from me on the couch, who I had stupidly and indirectly brought into this mess, her eyebrows etched with concern. I realise now that I had been staring at the floor, lost in thought. 

I knew that I would have to tell Espen parts of my past for her to understand fully what I was going to tell her.

"Yah, sorry." I said blinking quickly to clear my mind. 

"You don't have to share everything," Her blue eyes soft as she spoke. "Only the things that are important to know."

I let out a sigh. I might as well get it over with.

"My father is a pretty crappy human being." I started. "When I was younger he used to... hit me. " Espen let out a small gasp, barely audible, and her hand shot up to her mouth. "He never laid a hand on my mom, though I was constantly worried that he would, but he never did." I paused. I needed to gather my thoughts, because remembering my childhood caused my mind to haze over. "He was never a good man: he was cruel to other people, he didn't take care of his family like he should have and he was a lazy bastard. He never had a stable job, but when he did he was barely there. He stayed home and drank himself into oblivion, while my mom was out working to try cover the bills." I paused, remembering my mom coming home from work night after night, exhausted. "My mom worked herself to unimaginable limits, but one day it caught up to her, all of it. The stress my father caused her, the long hours she spent at work and her worry for me. She died," I paused. "Cancer. She couldn't cover the costs of the medical bills, nor could she look after herself the way she needed to due to our situation. It came without warning, when it was too late..."

"Crater, I'm sorry." Espen reached her hand out to touch mine, which took me by surprise and it looked as though she surprised herself too, but she kept her hand there. 

"For years after that my father continued down the same path, but the lack of income to support the both of us forced him to finally look for a job. But a job that suited him. He had questionable guests over and stayed out for long hours." Often forgetting that I was a child in need of food in order to stay alive. "Eventually I grew old enough, around fourteen, and realised that he had become apart of a group of criminally active people." Espen looked as though a lightbulb went off in her head, her eyes widening, so I nodded. "He constantly felt the need to assert his 'dominance' over me, because I was growing up and learning to fight for myself. He would threaten that he could kick me out (I'm still unsure of why he didn't), that he would kill me if I told anyone of his... doings."

"Oh." She looked horrified but I persevered.

"Eventually I turned seventeen and moved in with Oliver, but that didn't stop my dad from pestering me. You'd think that a guy who didn't love his son would be relived to have him off of his hands, but no. I think I reminded him of my mother and he wanted that reminder gone." I'll never know why. "He would stop me on my way home after school and cause trouble, thankfully he never involved Oliver or his family. "I looked away feeling slightly embarrassed, so Espen squeezed my had to reassure me. "It's hard to understand, but that's about it. He has tried to hurt me and the people in my life, that is why I repell people. Other than my hatred for human kind."