Seeing Blind |NH|

Chapter Forty Two

I choked. "What the fuck? No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are! And you have been the whole damn time!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Kendall, stop." He turned to me. "Ignore her, mate. She's delusional."

"The hell I'm not!" Kendall said, shaking Harry's hand off her arm. "You said yourself we need to find a way to make them realize how they feel about each other. Well, Niall here isn't enjoying the fact that someone else is showing some interest in her. In fact, Niall has never liked someone showing interest in her. He fucking hated that Zayn got to her. Fuck, even Zayn noticed his feelings for her. And then Jace returned. And we all know how that ended for him, and for her. Now, she's single again, and the only thing he just said that was true was that she needs to remain that way for a while, but he also needs to know that he's in love with her. He needs to know that she's in love with him. And, at some point, the two of them will, hopefully, finally get together and all the world can be right. But he needs to know it to keep her from jumping into some other 'relationship' that's only going to end in failure. They will all end in failure. His. Hers. All of them, until it's finally them. But he won't know it until someone fucking tells him. So, I brought Elijah, who isn't really here to hook up with her, to gauge Niall's reaction. And I was right. He's still head over heels in love with her and he doesn't fucking know it!"

Kendall finished her little speech. Harry turned to me.

"I'm so fucking confused right now," I said, my head spinning.

"And you have been for the last year!" Kendall said, exasperated.

Harry sighed and pulled me away from Kendall and everyone else. "What is she talking about?"

"Niall, we all see it. And, I don't know how the two of you haven't seen it yet but, Kendall's right. You're in love with Esta."

"No, I'm not."

He ran one hand through his hair while placing the other on my shoulder. "Yeah, you are."

"What makes you think that?" I asked, starting to feel my chest constrict.

"Everything. We all saw it the moment we met her. You always talk about her. You always say how much you miss her."

"She's my friend."

"She's our friend, too. But, you don't hear any of us talking about her nonstop. You're always talking about her and talking about some meme you sent her or she sent you. And the postcards you send her? Who sends postcards anymore?"

"She likes them," I said, defending myself. "I thought it was cute."

"Exactly. And, the way you look at her? Niall, you've got it so bad, it's baffled all of us as to how you haven't realized it. Or maybe you have and you've been in denial?"

"I'm not in denial about anything!"

Harry ran his hand through his hair again. Sighing, he calmly said, "Yeah, you are. For the most part, it's been bearable. She was with Jace when you met her. I mean, he was an asshole from the start, but she was taken. Then they broke up and she got with Zayn pretty quickly after that. Which, also, wasn't the smartest of ideas. We all initially thought you were okay with it because, well, you never said anything. And they dated for several months. But once his attitude and demeanor changed, you were so mad at him."

"He was a dick to her."

"Yeah, he was. But we also know something else was going on in his head. He just chose to take it out on her. And, I'm not saying that's the way he should've done it, but he wasn't mad at her. But he did see how you felt about her. Your friendship made him so insecure."

"How do you know that?"

"He told me one night. He told both myself and Liam. We were all drinking and I think you two were hanging out. This was before tour. He said she had insisted on making sure you two had a movie night or whatever. He came over and drank and semi spilled his guts. At least, about that. I distinctly remember him asking if the rest of us saw what he saw."

"What did he see?"

"That you're in love with her. We told him we didn't see it but I'm pretty sure he didn't believe us. And he was so sure she would wake up and realize that she was supposed to be with you. I think he felt that any moment she'd up and leave him that combined with whatever else was going on in his head, he just fucking lost it. And, then, we all felt sure that after a bit of time had passed that you, or she, would finally realize it. But then you started dating Melissa and we all kind of thought maybe we had been wrong or that you had moved on. But we quickly realized she was filler. Even more so when we were all in LA and saw that Jace was back. She literally asked each of us if you were in love with her. With Esta, that is."

I ran my hands through my hair, "Oh, god."

I turned around, my head dizzy with confusion, until my eyes landed on her. She was sitting with Elijah and Kendall. She glanced my direction and her expression changed into one of concern.

She mouthed, "Are you okay?"

A lump formed in my throat, making it difficult for me to swallow.

Harry continued talking, "This past week, though, Niall, you've been so happy, ecstatic, even, that Jace is gone."

"He's an asshole. Of course, I'm happy she's not with him anymore! She deserves so much better than him."

"She does. Not arguing with that one bit. But we all see that that someone better, is, and should be, you."

"I need a drink."

"Niall, it's okay to be in love with her..." I couldn't take much more of what he was saying to me. As I walked off, I heard Harry shout, "Think about it, Niall. Take a good hard look at it all."