Choking on air this time, I practically yelled, "She doesn't need a hook up! She needs to be alone. She needs to get her head on straight. She's thinks she's not worth anything to anyone. She doesn't need some random hookup or new boyfriend. Sh...
The ride home was nothing special. We talked a little, but my brain was so foggy that I felt like I couldn't form words or sentences.
As we walked in and waited for the elevator, Esta said, "Wanna come see the progress I've made?"
"Huh?"
"Inside? The painting and how I've started to decorate. I think you'll like it."
"Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry, a bit tipsy still, I guess."
She smiled at me as the elevator dinged. When we got off, I followed her and waited while she unlocked her door. Walking in, she didn't turn on the lights. Kicking off her shoes, I followed suit with my own.
Grabbing my hand, which felt like shocks of electricity pulsed through it, she led me into the darkness.
"Uhh, don't you want some lights?" I asked. My voice more shaky than I wanted it to be.
"Of course, but I want you to stand right here and let me turn them on. Surprise you with the almost finished product. You won't believe how much I've gotten done."
She let go of my hand and walked to the wall. Her blinds were open so as my eyes adjusted to the light, I could sort of see how she had decorated without seeing the details.
"Ready?"
"Yes, definitely." She flipped the switch. I looked around me. "Esta, this looks great."
She came back over to me and grabbed my hand, "I got some standout pieces for you to see." Smiling, she pulled me towards her coffee table which she had not previously had. "Look what I did." She pointed to it and I saw that she had taken the postcards I had sent her in the last year and a half and placed them between the glass, creating a table full of foreign places.
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"One day, I'm gonna go to each of these places and see them for myself. Maybe we can go together, yeah?"
Before I could answer, she pulled me into the kitchen where she had repainted the cabinetry white and gotten new hardware that was more of a titanium color. It looked amazing.
"I went into this little art gallery I've always wanted to go into and found these cute little pieces." She had bought several small pieces of art with fruits and vegetables on it.
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"Those are actually pretty cool looking. I like the style."
"Me too." She then grabbed my hand and headed back into the living room and headed to her bedroom before stopping. "Oh wait, look what I got printed and framed."
She let go and went to a small table next to her couch and picked up a picture frame. Handing it to me, I saw that it was one of the pictures of the two of us just a week before with paint all over our faces. I laughed, remembering how long it had taken to get the blue out of my hair. I looked at the image a little more closely though and saw this glint in my eye that I had never noticed before. And the smile on her face. I smiled looking at it.
"Okay, next stop."
She took the photo from me and placed it back in its designated spot. Grabbing my hand again, she led me into her bedroom where she flipped the switch. Her bedding had remained the same, a light gray, that went well with the blue. She had also gotten framed and hung several other pictures placing them in a "salon-style" manner above her bed.
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She hopped up onto her bed and started pointing out all the pictures. "Now, most of these are from my own travels, including a few from when I came out to see you guys. I especially like this one of the Grand Canyon, even if that trip was a bust."
"We'll go back together one day and make it a much better trip," I said.
Without turning around to look at me, I heard her whisper, "I'm sure anywhere with you will be fun." I blushed a little at her comment, even though I don't think she intended for me to hear it.
Wanting to get a better look at them, I stepped up onto the bed next to her.
"Here's one of all of us at that horrendous Disneyland trip."
She pointed to one that had all five us in it. It was the only photograph on the wall that she was in.
I looked at the others. "Where's that one?" I asked, pointing to one in the top corner.
"Vietnam. The only other time I've gone out of the country, you know, besides when Zayn flew me out to you guys and Costa Rica. It's the one time my grandfather and I went somewhere. Right after my mother left with one of her deadbeat boyfriends, he took me on a business trip. He was hesitant about going. My grandfather was the oldest of nine kids. Have I ever told you this?" She stopped and looked at me as I shook my head, "His youngest brother, the youngest of them all, was killed there during the war. My grandfather didn't have to serve due to his eyesight. Can't exactly shoot people if you can't see them. Anyway, it took him a long time to come to terms with it especially since his brother's body was never found. When we went for his business stuff, he had decided he wanted to pay his respects and then play tourist when he was done. Unfortunately, he got sick there and we had to cut our trip short." She turned to look at me. "When he died, he was cremated. Most of his ashes were scattered in the ocean but I saved a little to take to Vietnam. Although, he never talked about it again, I knew a small piece of him was missing and I guess I just feel that a small piece of him needs to be there." She paused again as she looked at the photo. She half laughed before saying, "You probably think that's silly."
'Why would she think that?' I wondered.
"Not at all. I think that's really sweet and amazing. I wish I could've met him. He sounds like he was really something. And someone special to you."
"He was."
I looked over at her and saw that her mood had changed with the telling of that story. I reached an arm out and wrapped it around her shoulder, bringing her in for a hug.
"You'll get back there. I promise."
I could feel her smile against my chest. Sighing, she said, "And here's another pic of us from our first day at the beach. Remember that?" She bent down and picked up the framed photo on her bedside table, handing it to me.
There we stood, the ocean behind us, drinks in our hands, sunglasses on, smiles on our faces. The only "problem" with the photo was that the wind had picked up just at that moment and blew her hair across her face and mine. We both had smiles though. She looked beautiful.
