Nothing Worth Having Ever Comes Easy

Chapter 15

Lesson 1 seemed to drag, I had year 8s and I usually enjoy teaching that sort of age group because they actually wanted to be there, they had chosen to study Spanish and many of them were very talented. There were a few students who I wished weren’t in there but there are always them types in every class. I don’t know whether they were trying my patience or if I was being very intolerant. All I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to be here, I wanted to be in Jonah’s arms where I felt safe and protected. I felt so vulnerable in his absence and I was willing the lesson to speed up, my eyes fixated on the clock that was until Chris Mead appeared at my classroom door asking to speak to me outside. The thoughts of Jonah instantly left my head as they were overpowered by curiosity "miss Montoya, could I have a word please?" he said as he popped his head around the door "of course" I said before telling the class to keep focused on their work and that I wouldn’t be long. I stepped outside my classroom and I began to feel extremely uncomfortable "what is it?" I asked, my voice starting to shake, he stared directly at me and said nothing for a good minute or so "I thought you were happy with Marcus?" he finally said "What?" I said, almost shouting I had suddenly found a huge amount of confidence, I remember exactly why I ended things with Marcus and this made me feel like I could concur the world "Marcus said you ended it last night, you’ve broken his heart Cesca and I want to know why?" I took a deep breath "yes, I did and it wasn’t an easy decision and it’s hurting me as much as it is him. It just wasn’t working and neither of us were genuinely happy not that it has anything to do with you. My personal life is none of your business and I would appreciate it if you didn’t pull me out of my class to discuss matters which don’t concern you" I didn’t give him a chance to reply, I said my piece and went straight back into my classroom where the clock was almost showing 10am meaning that lesson 2 was about to begin and I had a free period. I had Spanish A-level lesson three which meant that I’d get to see Jonah however after Chris’ appearance I knew that I couldn’t wait another hour and a half to see him especially when I had such a long stretch of time to myself which I would have spent thinking of nothing other than him. I decided that I would find out what lesson he was in from Janeece and request that he reports to my room to discuss his coursework that he began last lesson. I wasn’t sure whether or not my plan would work as I had only been in school for two days meaning that the amount of work my classes had got done wouldn’t be very much though this was a risk I was willing to take, I had to see him.

I released my year 8s at exactly 10am and I followed almost straight after. I made my way back up towards Rachel’s office, bumping into Kim yet again "hey" she said as she stopped in the corridor, I didn’t really want to engage in a conversation with her, I wanted to see Jonah as soon as I could but I couldn’t just ignore her, I was running out of allies in the staffroom very quickly so I needed to ensure I had someone who I could speak to "hi Kim, you alright?" "yeah I’m good thanks, I was just coming to find you actually, I saw you had a free period now and I just wondered whether you fancy helping me with a drama workshop for the year 10s" I didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t flat out refuse that wouldn’t have been fair but I couldn’t say yes as I desperately needed to see Jonah though I would see him at break and lesson 3 though we wouldn’t be able to speak during a lesson, not properly anyway. "Erm, yeah I guess I can do Kim but I’ll warn you now, I know absolutely nothing about drama" "Thanks Cesca, you’re a life saver and don’t worry about it, I just need you to help me supervise that’s all. It’s a huge group you see" I laughed "oh okay then as long as you aren’t tricking me into doing anything stupid!" I joked, "of course not, come on; let’s head down to the drama room. The students won’t be down for another 10/15 minutes" "I’ll see you down there, I’ve just got a few year 12 students I need to speak to about their coursework" "check you out little miss organised, alright then I’ll see you in a bit" "bye Kim" I said and we went off in opposite directions. I knew that I should really have followed her instead of speaking to Jonah after all I was just his teacher for now but I could have always spoken to him when we got home but I needed him to know right now. This made me realise that our relationship was going to be much harder to hide than I originally thought, I just couldn’t distance myself from him but I knew I had to. When I got to Rachel’s office I stopped myself from going any further. If this was to even have a chance of working I had to control myself, maintain a professional distance. Despite how we both felt our relationship was wrong and if we were to get caught I could lose him forever and I couldn’t bare that. I kept telling myself this over and over in hope that it would scare me into being professional but it didn’t; it took every fibre of my being for me to leave Jonah in his lesson. However I knew it was for the best besides, I’d be able to see him in just under an hour at break and then I have a lesson with him so even though I have to remain professional I still get to spend time with him, nowhere near as much as I would like but it was time together all the same.