Awakening Sheeple

~ Chapter 27 ~

When we got inside I took off my clothes on the way through the house; my shoes at the door, my coat on a chair in the living room, my blouse on the kitchen floor. Kaysen caught on, "what are you doing?"

I turned to face him, "I am feeling like I would like some of your hot, hard, physical healing," I smiled and gave him the one finger beckoning, holding my bra up in the air with the other hand.

He came to me obviously enticed by the thought. He put his hands around my waist and looked deep into my eyes searching for an answer. My breath caught in my throat as I realized he was about to turn me down! I was so shocked I couldn't speak. He doesn't find me attractive anymore! I am fat already! He doesn't want me anymore. The poisonous thoughts rushed into my head and poured out of my eyes.

"Oh Love, what are you doing? Don't cry. I love you so much. I just don't want to hurt the baby!" He looked panicked as he wiped my tears and kissed my forehead over and over.

I began to laugh, but he thought I was sobbing and held me tight to his chest. "I'm so sorry Avery, it's okay, don't cry please!" Then I snorted and laughed even harder. "What are you doing!?" He was so confused by my behavior.

"I'm sorry Honey, it's just that you can't hurt the baby by having sex! I mean we will be a little careful of course but it's perfectly safe." Kaysen began to laugh at his own naivety. "Well, I didn't know! I'm sorry."

I laughed so hard I bent over. "Oh yeah? You think it's funny do you? I'll show you." He scooped me up into his arms and took me into the bedroom. "I am going to give it all to you now Baby....gently of course." He kissed me softly but passionately and I didn't want him to stop. His lips are firm but soft and melt into mine perfectly. He'd laid me on the bed and removed my clothes like they were his own, with ease. He kissed my neck sending shivers all over my body, he kissed me all the way down to my belly. He put his ear to my belly and listened, then I heard him whisper, "I love you baby."

We spent the rest of the day reading, meditating, tidying up around the house and I sat in the spare bedroom dreaming of a beautiful nursery. During dinner we made some plans for the rest of the time before he had to leave us. Much of what he wanted to do was just be with me. He was very torn about leaving me this time. It made me wonder if he was worried about something this time more than usual, besides the baby. When I questioned him about it he would just say he hated leaving me when I am pregnant, he didn't want me to overdo it. I reminded him that worry is just fear in the future and that I would be fine, I was just pregnant not injured. He'd shake his head and agree with me but I felt like he wasn't telling me something. Once again I just had to trust him and let it go, he would tell me if I needed to know.

We took the time to paint the spare room a nice bright yellow with teddy bear border, actually Kaysen did all the work, I supervised. We decided we would look around for furniture and get it when he got home. At least I'd try to wait! Most of our time was spent at the centre with the kids and organizing the meditation groups. He was so sweet to me, everyday he would have flowers delivered, buy me a new maternity top or bring me a teddy bear, take me to lunch and make me dinner. He said I had to receive his kindness gratefully because he wouldn't be here to do it for me soon and it made him happy too. So I did and I really enjoyed being spoiled.

Kaysen made up a little song and sang it to the baby daily. The day before he left for California, she gave him a gift. He had his hand on my tummy as usual, sending the baby love energy. She sent him back her love, pushing her little hand to his.

He gasped, "Did you feel that? It shot right up my arm and filled my heart!"

I smiled, 'she is full of love. Thank you for making this beautiful child with me.'