Leather Jacket Girl (girlxgirl)

Chapter Fifty

I had been so naive when it came to my feelings. Sure, I had loved Emmy at one point and everyone knew that. It wasn't exactly difficult to know that. However, I didn't have to reveal that in a public cafe right in front of the girl I truly wanted. Courtney. I couldn't believe that I had messed up on such an astronomical level.

I wasn't sure where Courtney had gone. She was entirely too unpredictable to the point where I wasn't sure whether she was in town. That was why it was such a relief when my phone began to buzz with a call from her. It had only been a week since the last time that we had spoken but that week had felt like a decade. That was how important she was to me. She was the girl that, if I didn't have her around, would make me so sad.

"Phoebe, can we talk today? God. I feel like such a scatter brain. My head is a mess right now and I... I don't know. It's been a week and all I've found myself wanting to do is talk to you. I tried to detach myself from the situation but-"

"Me too," I interjected.

"It didn't work," she said.

"I know. It didn't work for me, either. I think us talking would be a good idea, Courtney. I mis- where should I meet you?" I asked her, as I swallowed. I didn't want to be too open with the way that I felt. I didn't want to drive her away again. It seemed that I had a bad habit of doing that recently.

The line went quiet for a moment and I presumed that Courtney was deliberating on what would be the best option. I only hoped that she wouldn't suddenly change her mind and not want to meet with me anymore.

"I'll be outside later, alright?" she asked.

I simply murmured in my confirmation that this was okay. I felt as though I didn't know what to say. After I had made that colossal mistake of admitting my feelings or at least past feelings for Emmy in the coffee shop, I had paid far more attention to what I was saying.

"See you then, Clarke," Courtney said.

She ended the call so abruptly that I ended up saying, "Goodbye," to nobody in particular, just the empty space of my room around me.

I decided that taking a little trip out might just help me with my thoughts, so I took several steps down the path outside my house until I found Lois on the pavement nearby.

Lois' eyes looked over me momentarily and all I could do was switch the weight between my feet, as I felt her watch me with interest.

"Have you heard from Courtney? If you haven't, you need to keep trying. Don't give up on her, alright? She is so used to people giving up on her," Lois told me.

"What? The way you gave up on her?" I asked.

Lois' eyes flickered with hurt at my question but she gave a slight shake of her head in response, as she took a deep breath.

"Actually, no. She broke up with me so it was far from that but thank you, again, for assuming things, Phoebe," she said, as her eyes narrowed at me.

"I'm sorry...I didn't realise. I-"

"She likes you so much and you would be a dumb-ass to not realise that. Trust me, I know these things better than anyone. I'm fairly limited in what I can tell you, though. I suppose I'm stubborn like that but... there's not exactly a tip guide when it comes to relationships with Courtney. You need to work that out for yourself, Phoebe," she said.

I gave an understanding nod to indicate my agreement. I had a feeling that figuring Courtney out was going to be more difficult than I had initially hoped, though. However, that had never driven me away in the past. I had always been ready to navigate the challenges that arrived.

The sun was continuing to rise in the sky above us, even though there was a chill in the air. I found myself wishing that I had Courtney's jacket again but alas, I was going to have to wait for that. I didn't know whether she would even want to give me her jacket again, especially not after what had passed between the two of us. However, I hoped that I would somehow be able to fix everything. I simply couldn't lose Courtney. She was so important to me. Too important to just let go.

"You're going to work this out, Phoebe. If I can offer you any wise words, though, just let Courtney talk about how she feels. Her dad is an asshole and she often feels as though she isn't being listened to. So, ultimately the best thing that you can do is listen," Lois told me.

I gave a nod of my head in agreement. I would have said more but my mind was too busy thinking to say another syllable.

Lois looked up to the sky for a moment and smiled. "It looks like it might be a good day. Make the most of it. I need to go and find Emmy. We have some things to talk about," she told me.

"Alright. I hope your talk goes well," I said, with a kind smile.

Lois inclined her head in agreement, before waving to me and beginning to walk away.

I believed that the two of us would be able to be friends again at some point. After all, it didn't seem to me that there were any hard feelings about what I said in the cafe. I knew that Emmy was happy with Lois and I wasn't about to ruin that.

I only hoped that by the time the sky started to turn dark again, Courtney and I would be able to settle the tension between us. After all, Courtney hadn't called me for no reason. It did seem to me that she wanted to talk about everything that had passed and perhaps, then, there would be a chance that the two of us would be alright again.