Leather Jacket Girl (girlxgirl)

Chapter Fifty-Two

I should have known already that Courtney was always entirely too unpredictable, but when she said her next words that was truly the cherry on top. 

"I'm moving away," Courtney said. 

"You're...is your dad making you move again?" I asked her, feeling a little incredulous, in all honesty. 

"No, Phoebe. I'm doing this of my own accord. As soon as the school year ends, I'm leaving this stupid city," Courtney said. 

Courtney could honestly win a medal for being the most temperamental person alive and I didn't say that lightly. 

"Are you kidding me?" I asked her. 

"No. I'm not, Phoebe. I get to choose whatever the hell I want to do with my life and I certainly don't need a lecture from you," she told me, as she pulled a box of cigarettes out of her pocket. I simply whacked it out of her hands. 

The two of us glanced down at it for a second, before looking back up to each other again. On my regrets meter, I officially had zero. Courtney polluting her lungs wasn't exactly going to help any of this. Her eyes darkened at me, before she spoke again. 

"Congratu-fucking-lations. What exactly do you think that achieved?" Courtney asked me, as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "That definitely solved everything, Phoebe. Now I have to go and buy another box," she said. 

"No. You don't. I know you only smoke because you're upset and you need to stop doing this," I said. 

"I already told you, Clarke. I don't need a lecture, especially not from you," Courtney told me, as she began to walk away, crushing the box of cigarettes under her Chelsea boot as she did so. 

I followed after her but Courtney just pushed me away, literally. I felt my eyebrows instinctively draw together. 

"What can I do to help, Courtney? I'm always going to care about you. You may push me away but you can't stop me from feeling the way that I do," I said. 

Courtney rounded on me and her eyes narrowed, as she closed the distance between us. 

"And how exactly do you feel, Phoebe?" she asked me. 

I swallowed. I knew how I felt but I didn't know whether saying that in the moment would make things any better. I certainly didn't want to make things any worse. 

Courtney scoffed. 

"Exactly," she said, as she continued to walk away.  

"Can you just stop?" I yelled, "Your car is outside my house so I don't exactly know where you're going and I'm not going to let you walk off on your own." 

I looked up to the darker clouds looming above us for a moment and sighed. 

"What? Are you trying to protect me or something?" she teased and at the sight of a playfulness in her eyes, I felt my heart lighten, if only momentarily. She walked closer to me again and gave a slight shake of her head. 

"What's going through your mind, Courtney?" I asked her, as I felt myself suddenly become smaller with Courtney so close to me. 

"Let me get this straight, Phoebe," Courtney said, "I don't need you. I don't want you to look out for me. I don't care. All I ever truly wanted was someone to love me but... that's a pain in the ass. Loving someone else, though, is even harder," she added, as she swallowed. She gently poked the skin above my chest as a pain became evident in her eyes, "You need to go away. You need to go home. It's raining," she said, with a cold tone of voice. 

Of course, Courtney would know when it was raining sooner than I would, given that she was a fraction taller than me.  

Maybe she was right. Maybe it would be best for me to return home. I didn't want to forget myself in all of this. As much as Courtney was important to me, I was important, too. I couldn't allow myself to ever forget that. 

"Courtney?" someone called out to the two of us, and I saw through the rain, which was growing heavier, that Lois was walking towards us with an umbrella. I was thankful that there were no strong winds today because then her umbrella would probably have turned inside out. "Do you want to talk for a minute?" Lois asked her. 

Courtney sighed in slight defeat, as she gave a slight nod of her head. Her blonde hair was growing darker, as the rain began to wash over the two of us. 

"Okay...let's go to your car," Lois suggested. 

Courtney murmured in agreement. 

The three of us walked back down the pavement until we reached my house again. 

Courtney turned back to me and looked as though she wasn't sure what she wanted to say next to me, which didn't surprise me, especially not after everything that had passed between the two of us. 

"Bye, Phoebs," Courtney said, as she went to sit down in her car. 

Lois directed an expression of sympathy towards me but I didn't want it. I wanted rest. 

I waved to the two of them and swiftly walked into my house and up to my room, before someone could comment on the fact that I currently looked like a drowned cat. 

I walked into my room and opened up my phone and dialed the first number I saw. 

"Phoebe?" Oliver answered. 

"Hi," I said, as I felt my heart hurt. 

"Hey, are you okay? You sound...insanely sad," Oliver commented. 

"Pass me the phone!" I heard Kian say on the other side of the line, which made me release a soft laugh, even though I felt on the verge of tears. "Hey Phoebs. I hope you're alright. I've been studying all day with Oliver and...well, Emmy called me earlier, actually, when she couldn't reach your phone. She said that it would be a good idea for the two of you to hang out, whenever you want to." 

That made me feel ever-so slightly better. It didn't change the fact that I was still hurting over the whole Courtney situation, but it was good to have a reminder that Emmy was still there for me, even after everything. I supposed that was true friendship. 

"Thank you, Kian," I replied. 

"Of course. I'll see you at school tomorrow. You'll be okay, Phoebe. I know it," Kian told me. 

I really hoped that he was right.