Leather Jacket Girl (girlxgirl)

Chapter Fifty-Six

I had to return home soon after that, but I was still regularly checking up on Emmy over text. 

"So, what did Rose want to talk to you about?" Courtney asked me, as the two of us walked into my bedroom. 

After she had seen how heartbroken I seemed, Courtney had been insistent upon walking me home, which didn't surprise me. Ever since the two of us had our argument, Courtney had said that she had missed me and wanted to apologise and get all of that sorted. I had wanted to do the same, too. Things were different without her as a part of my life. I never wanted to go through that again. 

"Emmy and Elijah's grandmother is sick," I said. 

Courtney's eyebrows joined together, then. 

"Crap. Now I feel like an asshole," she said, "I was so fussed about this whole school thing and this whole Emmy thing that I guess I didn't really think that something like that was going on. Maybe I've just been extraordinarily selfish." 

"Hey, no," I argued. 

"No. Listen, Phoebe. You're an amazing friend. It's clear how much you love Emmy. I always have wanted that in a friend," Courtney said. 

"Don't be silly. You have me," I said. 

Courtney's eyes grew a little warmer at my kind words. 

"Thank you, Phoebs," she said. 

"Always," I replied, "Needless to say, I believe that things are going to be a little tough for Emmy, at the moment. The best thing that any one of us can do is be there for her."  

"You can depend on me, I promise," Courtney replied, "I know I've been difficult but...you matter to me, which means that your friends matter to me, too, Phoebs. I'll tell you a story...my grandma got sick and passed on a while ago. She was one of the people that knew that I was gay before anyone else did. She meant so much to me. I know how difficult it can be to lose someone, so...if Emmy needs anyone, then I am here."

I sat down upon my bed and Courtney walked over to join me. 

"Thank you, Courts," I said. 

"Always," she replied. 

"Can you stay the night?" I asked her. 

I guessed that I was mostly worried for Emmy but I knew that I really didn't want to be alone, especially not given the current situation. 

"Will your family be cool with that?" she asked me. 

"They should be," I replied. 

"Okay. I admire the fact that you don't worry about having me over. I like to pretend and act like nothing bothers me but I know that it would be different, if you were going to stay over at mine, I mean. My dad can be so stupid sometimes..." she trailed off, as she looked out of the window at the sky which was beginning to darken. 

It hurt to know that Courtney was struggling, especially when I knew that I had a family that loved me regardless and I knew that Courtney had always struggled with that. 

"My family are here for you, Courts. Always," I assured her. 

"I'm so glad. That's why I love being here so much. You're so kind to me and so damn generous, too. What would I do without you?" she asked me, as the corner of her lips twitched up slightly. 

Courtney closed the distance between us on the bed, as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I simply leant my head against her shoulder and breathed in relief. It was comforting to know that things between Courtney and I were alright and that they were going to be alright for a long while. 

"You should just stay with me," I suggested. 

Courtney released a soft laugh. 

"Believe me, bunny, if I could then I definitely would," she said. 

Courtney's expression became thoughtful, so I turned to her and watched her seem to contemplate for a second. 

"I...do you ever wonder where you're going to be in ten, twenty years?" she asked me. 

I gave her a look of curiosity, so she went on. 

"All I've ever known in my life is moving, Phoebe, you know? I suppose I wonder when all of that is going to end, when I'll be able to stay in one place and appreciate it for all that it is. That's one of the reasons why, I suppose, I push people away. I worry I'll get close to someone and then I'll have to leave them behind all over again," Courtney told me. 

I could understand why this would upset her. I hadn't had to move much in my life but I knew that it must be difficult for Courtney. 

"I...I'm not a good person, Phoebe," Courtney said. 

"Why do you say that?" I asked her. 

"I've hurt a lot of people in the past because I've been afraid to commit because of this stupid moving thing," she told me. 

"Then stay here. You don't have to go anywhere. In mere months, the two of us are going to be out of school, Courtney. Once the two of us are out of school, that's when our lives can change for the better. You and I...that's what I want, Courtney. I don't know whether that's what you want but...we're good together," I said. 

"I think that meeting you was some sort of destiny. Is that lame?" she asked me. 

I shook my head slightly. 

"I don't think that's lame. It's sort of cool, actually," I said. 

"I'm lucky to have you as a girlfriend, Phoebs," Courtney said, "You're one of the sweetest girls I have ever met."

"Well, you're one of the most beautiful," I blurted. 

Courtney's lips twitched up at the corner, then. 

"That's all you, Phoebe. You're beautiful and you are amazing. I feel like I could talk to you about anything and everything," she said, with her arm still around my shoulders. 

Courtney soon removed her arm from my shoulders, so she could take my hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. 

For the first time in a long time, everything felt okay again.