Kakashi Hatake

Chapter 17: Rain

*Trigger Warning*: Before reading please note that this chapter has descriptions of suicidal thoughts.

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When Luna left I sighed, "You're being awfully quiet. Tell me, are you actually feeling okay?"

It still bothers me that he got hurt because of me.

"I feel fine, there is no major injuries. I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

When I got my stuff from the tree branch I turned to look at him. "What's up?"

"It's about earlier. I've been thinking about what you said at the hot springs."

"Let's wall and talk," I said.

He nodded and we started heading to where the others should be camped out.

"So what's on your mind?"

"You were right when you told me I needed to be more rational and think about my actions. I...wanted to apologize," he said.

"Don't worry about it Kakashi," I chuckled in attempt to lighten the mood.

It was silent for a minute before I spoke up. "You need to stop hating yourself Kakashi."

"Hm?"

"You blame yourself too much. You're probably one of the most skilled ninja I've met. Just because you're highly skilled, does not mean you're perfect."

He turned his head to look at me. "You don't think I know that? Stop trying to read me like a book. I already know all of this. You have no idea what I've been through, so stop acting like you know how it feels," he said rather rudely.

But I do... damn it. It all came out wrong. It wasn't suppose to sound like...

I sighed, "never mind..."

The mission will be over by tomorrow. What will I do after that? What even is my purpose in this world anymore. All the people I know are now gone. This is a whole new world. One where I don't belong.

Tenzo was on watch duty when we arrived. By this point I'm ready to sleep to stop worrying about everything.

My heart feels so empty. Whatever Tenzo said to me I couldn't even hear. After this mission, I'm done. No place to call home. Nothing to accomplish. My heart began to race. Panic filled my whole body.

"Rin...Rin!" Kakashi's voice echoed in my head. I turned to look at him.

"Is there something interesting about the bark of that tree I should know about?"

"I just zoned out, that's all," I said.

"Well, by tomorrow night we'll be at Kellina's village. She offered that we stay the night, and there will be a party for her arrival. We accepted her offer and we will leave by morning back to the hidden leaf."

"Okay."

"That's all you have to say about that?" he asked.

"Yes Kakashi."

"You're acting weird. Are you planning something?"

"Oh, you can tell?" I said jokingly. "Now let me sleep."

He didn't respond. Of course I'm not going to go party with them. It would be too bright. Besides my time is up. Tomorrow night I will be alone which is what I'm use to.

By the time we had to leave I barely got any sleep. I just stared at the stars. My mask was no more, so I had to use cloth to cover my eyes. I won't be able to open my eyes at all with this on.