Distraction |Obikin

1.

It had been a few weeks since I had finally passed the trials and finally been released of the padawan title and was able to move on to the rank of a Jedi knight. Next up was the rank of Master. I was pretty much speed running the entire order.

I had been told thousands of times that I became a knight at a pretty young age, but I probably could have passed the trials a long time before. And it only made sense, I was the chosen one after all, and I know that there is still things that I could work on, but some of those things I don't really need that much, like meditation, and for all the things I was bad at I made up in the things that were really useful, like my lightsaber skills were pretty awesome, and I was an amazing pilot.

I looked off into hyperspace and took my hand back to play with my braid, it wasn't there anymore. Flying was one of the first things that I was good at, that and fixing or making things, so whenever I was in a ship, in the pilots seat I always felt at peace. It didn't matter if it was just me, or if there was a crowd, it I was looking deep into the dimension of hyperspace, or if I was blowing up another ship, flying was some of the most peaceful times I had, probably ever.

I was going to be back on Coruscant in less than a few hours now. Which meant in only a few hours I would be greeted by my own living quarters. As a padawan I slept in the smaller bedroom of my master, Obi-wan's quarters, and I still had been for a bit, but now I would be living on my own, one of the downsides to knighthood.

I guess this was sort of an upside, in a way. For a few years, I had a crush on my master Obi-wan Kenobi. We were always told as a padawan that at a young age, having a crush on your master was normal. They cared for you and you spent mostly all of your time with them, and as padawans it was harder to ignore, or let go of your crush, but it would pass in time.

I started to seek approval from my master in everything I did. I would listen to his feedback, and I would always ask what I could do better. But then I realized he had impossible high standards and gave up. I was only physically attracted to him at first, and I knew getting overs that would be easy, but then I started to relise what a great person he is. He was overly critical and that got annoying, but he was still caring, kind, compassionate, charming, and I guess pretty much, well pure.

My crush on him only grew, I didn't let go of it, and I was pretty much attached to him already, we were like brothers, so I wouldn't mind taking it to the "next level". But my master swore everything by the code and would never think about breaking it. That didn't help my crush on him, it only made it grow, knowing that I couldn't have him, made me want him, and knowing that he wouldn't ever be with me, felt like a challenge no matter how many times I told myself that it wasn't.

The shared quarters also didn't help. Every time that I heard the shower running, a thought always creeped into my head. The thought was always of him, naked under warm water, he's vulnerable right now, I could surprise him by joining him? But I pushed that thought away and prayed that my mental shields kept that hidden.

Or at night, when I was younger I used to have nightmares constantly and would seek comfort from Obi-wan, his presence pretty much made my bad thoughts go away, but when I got older, thought he never said anything, I know he started to feel a bit weird about it, I think it started once I grew taller than him and would wake up with him in my arms