Distraction |Obikin

10.

"My thoughts are loud? Geez I wonder why? Maybe it's because you have been acting so ignorant of everything." I snapped at him, I didn't regret one word, I had finally gotten some of what I wanted off my chest.

"Anakin I-"

"No. Don't "Anakin" me. You know what I'm talking about and you know it's true. I can try and hide how I feel but it won't do much, I know how I feel about you and I can't get rid of that. I refuse to believe that you don't think of me in a similar way, because I know you do, and you do too."

He looked at me for a little bit, and hesitated in thought for a bit. "If I have ever felt that way, I have let it go into the force, like you should also."

It was bullshit, there were some feelings that didn't just go away, you couldn't just let them go into the force, and when feelings like that came, the Jedi often confused letting them go, with burying them deep into your gut until it eats you from your inside.

"Well I can't do that, I've tried."

"Well it's not like there is many other choices, you have to remember Anakin that you've sworn an oath to the code."

He went on, lecturing me like I was his padawan again, anything I did, anything I said always brought us back here.

"So what? We've already practically formed an attachment, what difference does it make if we decided to get intimate?"

He thought for a moment, I thought I had got him, I thought I had stumped him.

"The difference is that the attachment we have formed is one that benefits both us as individuals, and Jedi knights, which means it also benefits the Republic, the people, the galaxy. The relationship we have is between us as partners, master and padawan, it's strengthens us. A relationship where we are intimate could lead to a stronger attachment, fear of letting go, jealousy, all paths to the dark side, it would weaken us, and therefore the rest of the galaxy."

I rolled my eyes and moved to be beside him. "Well maybe the galaxy doesn't depend on us." I put my hand on his leg, just above his knee, to get his attention.

"Anakain the galaxy doesn't depend on anyone or anything, but it has its strengths and weaknesses, the Jedi order strengthens the galaxy, and we strengthen the order." He didn't meet my eyes, not once.

"How do you know we will be weakened by an intimate relationship? Why don't you think about our happiness instead, why shouldn't that be more important?" I started to move my hand up his thigh, slowly and smoothly as I leaded in, coming closer to his face, I could feel his breath against my face as he spoke.

"Anakin, I-"

I cut him off as I attached our lips, and we moved in sync. It was perfect, exactly how I had imagined it in my dreams, sweet and tender. If I only had a few more seconds to make it passionate.

"Anakin no." He pushed me off himself and stood up. "You're being selfish, this relationship is just what you want, not what I want. If you need help getting over whatever feelings these are, you could speak to another Jedi master, perhaps master Yoda, but we can't form a connection in that way and we both know it. I have sworn my life to the code, and your life means your decisions, but you can't make me go against the code with you."

I didn't look at him in the eyes. I couldn't. I had been selfish, I had only been considering my own feelings and not his, but I could swear he felt the same way. As a Jedi, or a force wielder, my feelings we're almost never wrong, but maybe this time they were. I should have just asked him what he wanted instead of assuming he wanted the same thing as me.

He took a deep breath. "I need to go for a walk."

He left the room and closed the door, I could only barely feel his force signature fade, he closed the door to the room, and to our bond. And it felt empty, like a void that suddenly appeared and swallowed up what once felt like sunshine and happiness. That when I really knew I fucked up. That's where I had also fucked up with Padmé, I had only considered what I wanted, and not what she wanted, I only considered the risk I was willing to take, and not the risk they both would have to take along with it.

Maybe there was a way to fix up our relationship, but I could barely think about that, because the alarm. The red blaring lights and the siren like sound had gone off.

The ship had been hit.

A/N- Hello! Guess what I did! I took a break from my break! I felt like it was time to continue the story, I'm not sure how often I'll be updating, or if I'm even really back from my break, but I got some random motivation and decided why not? So anyway, thanks for reading and for anyone who's been really patient and supportive, it means a lot to me! Please vote and comment if you enjoyed and I'll hopefully see you soon!