YOU 2 [Charli D'Amelio]

Chapter 188.

"You what?" The intensity in her voice is unsettling.

I wish I wouldn't have just admitted to kissing Zayn but I had to. I had to tell Max, I couldn't keep it from her and I have to own up to my mistakes the same way Max has.

"I kissed him." I look up at her from the bed but she isn't looking at me. Her eyes are focused on the books she pushed to the floor as she clenches her fists into balls at her sides.

"I.. you.. why?" She taps her fists against her forehead in frustration and my mind scrambles for an explanation.

"I thought you forgot about me.. that you didn't want me anymore and he was there and.."

"Stop saying that shit! Stop fucking saying he was there, I swear to god if I hear that one more fucking time!"

"Okay! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was so hurt and confused, he was saying all the things that I was so desperate for you to say and.."

"What was he saying?"

I don't want to repeat anything that Zayn said, not to Max.

"Maxxy.."

"Now." She demands.

"He was just saying what would have happened if he had won, if we had dated instead."

"And what was like?"

"What?"

"What was that like hearing that bullshit? Is that what you want? You want to be with him instead of me?" Her anger is boiling and I can tell she's trying her hardest to keep the lid on it but the steam is pressing and pressing.

"No, that's not what I want." I stand to my feet and take a cautious step toward her.

"Don't. Don't come near me." Her words pierce me and I stay in place.

"What else did you do with him? Did you fuck him? Suck his dick?"

I hope everyone is downstairs in the dining room still or they will hear every word Max is saying.

"Oh my god! No! You know I didn't. I don't know what I was thinking when I kissed him, I was just being stupid and I was at such a bad place with you abandoning me."

"Abandoning you? You're the one who fucking left me and now I find out you were flaunting around campus like a fucking whore!" She screams.

I want to cry but this isn't about me, it's about her and how hurt and angry she must be.

"I didn't mean it that way, don't call me names." I settle my hands against the back of the chair.

Max turns her back to me, leaving me alone in my guilt. I can't imagine how I would feel if she had done this during the worst time in my life. I hadn't thought about how she would feel when I did it though, I had only assumed she was doing the same.

I don't want to continue to push her, I know the way her temper gets too heated for her to control and she has been trying her best to do so.

"Do you want me to leave you alone for now?" I weakly ask.

"Yes."

I didn't want her to agree for me to leave her be but I do what she asks and head out of the bedroom, she doesn't turn around.

I'm unsure what to do with myself as I lean against the wall in the hallway. In a sick way I'd rather her be screaming at me, pinning me against the wall and demanding me to tell her why I did it instead of staring out of the window and asking me to leave the room.

Maybe that's what is wrong with us, we both crave the drama of disagreements. I don't believe that to be true, we have come a long way since the beginning of our relationship even if we have fought more than we've had peace. Most of the novels that I've read led me to believe quarrels come and go in the blink of an eye, a simple apology will bandage any problem and everything will be worked out within minutes. The novels lie. Maybe that's why I am so enamored with Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice; they are incredibly romantic in their own way but they tell the truth behind the blind love and promises of forever.