YOU 2 [Charli D'Amelio]

Chapter 103.

"I feel terrible about the wall, I offered to fix it but Ken refuses to let me." I tell Liam as I brush out my wet hair. The shower I just took didn't help me relax like I had hoped. Nothing seems to calm the steady ache inside of me. It seems infinite.

"Don't worry about that. You have a lot going on." Liam frowns and rubs his hand across my back.

"I can't comprehend how my life came to this, how did I get to this point. Three months ago I had everything figured out, everything made sense. I had Chase, who would never do something like this, I was close with my mother and I had this idea of how my life would be and now I have nothing. Literally, nothing. I don't even know if I should go to Vance anymore because Max will either come there or she will convince Mr. Vance to fire me just because she can." At least the tears have stopped.

"She messed up everything, she really did. She had nothing to lose and I did, I let her take everything from me. My life before her was so simple and decided, now after her.. it's just ..after."

"You can't give up your internship, she has taken enough from you. Don't let her take that, please." Liam advises.

"The good thing about this "after" life without her is that you can make it whatever you please, you can start all over." He tries to encourage me.

"Just please listen to me about the internship." He begs.

I know he is right but it isn't that simple. Everything in my life is tied to Max now, even the paint on my damn car. She somehow became the string that held everything in my life together and in her absence I am left with the rubble that once was my life.

"I'll let you get some rest." Liam says and hugs me before walking towards the door.

"Do you think this will ever stop?' I ask and he turns around.

"What?"

"The pain?" My voice almost a whisper.

"I don't know.. I would like to think it will though." He answers and gives me his most comforting half smile, half frown.

I know if it will or not either, but if it doesn't, I know I won't survive it.

....

I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling until my alarm goes off at five. I have to leave an hour early so I can go buy clothes and makeup to wear. I also have to find somewhere to brush my teeth, that should be fun. I have no idea how I am going to get my things from the..Max apartment. Right now I feel like it would be easier to just leave everything there and buy all new things just so I don't have to face her.

I force myself out of bed and to my car, leaving a note thanking Ken and Karen and apologizing again for the hole Max put in their wall.

I cringe at my reflection in my rear view, my eyes are still bloodshot and rimmed with dark circles. I will need more makeup than I thought. I go to Walmart, the only store open nearby at this hour and buy everything I need. I don't have the strength or the energy to make a real effort in my appearance.

When I arrive at Vance, Kimberly gasps when she sees me. I try to muster a smile for her but she jumps up from her desk.

"Are you okay?" She asks frantically.

"Do I look that bad?" I shrug weakly.

"No, of course not. You just look.. exhausted." She lies. I know how terrible I look.

"I am exhausted." I tell her. I haven't decided if I will tell her the truth. Honestly, I am too ashamed to tell her.

"Did you and Max have a fight?" She asks and I nod.