Kiss or Slap

T

___________________Chapter T

Nakaantabay kami hanggang sa magising si Mecho. Parang umidlip lang siya sa klase, tapos biglang sinita ng teacher, kaya naman noong nagising siya ay napapiglas pa siya bago umahon, mukhang nagulat kung bakit siya natutulog at nakahilata ngayon.

"Where's Mom?" Iyon ang una niyang itinanong.

Walang nagsalita sa amin. His eyes brushed through each one of us, walang naglakas ng loob na salubungin ang kanyang mga mata, maging ako. It was as if he is getting a hint. His eyes turned a shade darker, his jaw tightened, and his brows shut up.

"Where is Mom? Mahirap bang sagutin 'yan?" Pag-uulit niya.

Tanging ang lagitik ng wall clock ang umalingawngaw sa buong kwarto. We did not answet him, and I guess we have no plans on answering him. Kung mayroon mang matapang na sasagot sa kanya, hindi ako iyon.

"Are you guys trying to get back at me? If you're planning to throw a joke. Sa ibang pagkakataon na lang," Mecho remarked. "I know, I played a lot of pranks with you guys. But consider this situation different."

"Mecho..." nagkatinginan kami, Yeji was the only one with the courage to say it. It's the truth after all. And we should not ignore the truth. Always. "Tita Michelle didn't make it."

"What?" Mecho snorted at that. "Gago ka ba?"

"Mecho. Hindi kami nanggagago." Seryosong sinabi ni Duval.

"Hind, p're." Umiling si Mecho at ngumisi. "Parang gago naman siguro 'yon, 'di ba? Namatay tatay ko dahil sa pangangabit ng nanay ko, tapos mamamatay din nanay ko dahil sa pangangabit ng step-dad ko? Tangina, angas ah!"

"Mecho.." I tried to reach for his hand pero inilayo niya iyon sa akin agad.

"Hindi totoo 'yan!" Mecho said with full frustration. His eyes were filled with tears in seconds, without a sniff it fell on his cheeks. Hindi niya iyon inalintana. Namula ang kanyang mga mata na dilat na dilat. Baka nga hindi niya na rin namamalayang umiiyak na pala siya ngayon.

Nagkatinginan kaming lahat. Jandra weakly shooked her head at me.

"Sino'ng may pakana ng prank na 'to? Bawiin ni'yo na! Umiiyak na ako, oh?" Wika niya pa. "Paano mamamatay si Mommy e masamang damo 'yon! Hindi niya pa nga napagbabayaran iyong ginawa niya kay Daddy, iiwan niya na kami! Hindi pwede! Hindi siya pwedeng mawala!"

He ranted his heart out. Hindi niya gustong maniwala. Nagwala siya sa kanyang higaan. He screamed, punch the side of his bed, and cried like a little kid.

Hindi mukhang iniiyakan niya ang Mommy niya dahil sa iniisip niyang hindi pa nito napagbabayaran ang kasalanan sa yumao niyang ama. I find it hard to believe, lalo na noomg makita ko kung paano kumislap ang mga mata niya.

It's filled with...love.

Why would you cry over someone you hate, after all? You cry because of grief; tears are meant to show your affection, and when you cry because of someone's death, it only means, you care about that certain person. I've seen Mecho angr. When you saw his true and raw self before, you can tell if he is pretending or not the next time around.

Doctors came again. Tinurukan siyang muli ng pampatulog. He drifted back to sleep, while they decided to finally go home. Nagpaiwan ako kahit panay na ang tawag ni Papa sa akin. I want to talk to him at sa tingin ko'y wala akong dapat pang oras na palampasin. I held his bandaged hand and anticipated that he could still... still be... at least patient with me.

I am willing to take some of the blames dahil aminado akong mali ang nagawa ko. Hindi ko na iisipin pa kung gaano ako mapipinsala noon. If blaming me can lessen the grief, I would blithely accept it.