Be My Addiction

46 • Technically Not Gay

Ethan

I told them everything. I explained the first day of school as well as the weeks following. I explained how I met Eugene in biology, as well as how annoying he seemed at first. I went through the process of me spending time with him and how he made me happy, but alluding to the fact that I had feelings for him.

I then got to the party and how I took the drugs with me. My mom wanted to interject but I gave her credit for staying silent throughout the description of the night. Finally, I got to how Eugene confronted me. This part was a little difficult for me to talk about because it was the first time I felt like someone actually wanted to help me in a while, but I pushed through.

After explaining everything, I looked up to my parents to gather their expressions.

"So this, Eugene guy helped you get clean?" Mom asked carefully. She probably gathered I was having a tough time.

"Yeah.."

"Where is he now? He sounds like a great guy"

The minute she asked that I winced and I could tell by the crease between her eyebrows that she regretting saying anything.

Taking a deep breath, I spoke, "He and I... aren't... We don't talk anymore"

"Why?" Her tone was much more gentle, which I was grateful for.

"I don't know.." I shrugged. I could see the confusion in their eyes. "We were great and then the next day, he was just gone. He didn't want to be around me. And then I started to get bullied shortly after that."

"Wait, is he bullying you?" My father's jaw clenched a bit. I could tell he probably thought the worst, which was strangely comforting. It meant he was still protective of me.

I didn't want him to get the wrong idea though, so I shook my head. "No. He's not the kind of person to do that, from what I can tell."

He nodded his understanding and relaxed against the sofa, "Is there anything we can do?"

"Not likely. Not even the teachers care about stopping the bullying. They all think I'm a bad person because someone spread this rumor about me." I sighed and slouched, looking to the ceiling.

"A rumor?" Dad asked, his eyebrows raising.

"Yeah... Someone said that I threw myself at Eugene... And that's why he's not my friend anymore." I looked their way after a moment to see more confusion coming from my father. My mother looked to be connecting dots I didn't mean to reveal.

"Threw yourself at him? Like in how..?" He sat up again and tilted his head lightly.

Crap. Now I would have to explain this to him.

"Like- Like I was trying to get with him..." I stuttered before quickly adding, "Which isn't true. Eugene and I were- it wasn't like that." I huffed, defeated. I knew there was no way to get around this. "He liked me back," I admitted softly

"Are you gay?"

I hadn't expected my father to just come out and ask it, but I shouldn't have been surprised. I asked the same question to Eugene just a few months ago.

Frowning, I push my hair from my eyes and began fiddling, "I... I'm not technically gay."

"But you and he were...?" He pressed more.

I readied myself for whatever reaction he was going to give and answered the question, "We dated.. And I love him."

"But doesn't that make you gay?"

The confusion I saw on his face isn't what I expected. I expected some mild disgust or discomfort, but I didn't understand what confused him. I looked to my mom and she didn't seem to follow. It wasn't the fact that I liked a boy that confused them, I soon realized. It was how I could like a guy and not be gay.

"It's hard to explain," I said simply.

My mother nodded softly "That's ok. We just want to understand." she smiled after that.

"I've never been attracted to anyone, besides Eugene. And that was only after I got to know him. It was his personality that I liked, not the fact that he was a guy. I didn't care about that as far as I can tell." I waved my hand slightly to emphasize what I mean, and they both seemed to understand a little better.

"Oh.. that makes sense, I guess. Do you think you would ever feel that way for a girl..? Or what is their term... Non- nonbinary?" My father questioned though my mother was quick to add to his statement.

"Don't forget, there's also intersex dear." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Oh, you're right." He nodded his agreement and turned his attention back to me.

The absurdity of the situation made me chuckle. I didn't even know they knew about gender identity, let alone ask if I would ever be interested in someone who might not conform. "I don't know." I shrugged again, "It's possible, but again, it took me a while to get interested in Eugene. And I don't even know why it was him."

Dad crossed his arms briefly in thought before commenting, "Based on how you described him, it's not hard to imagine why."

Yeah. That's true. I did describe Gene in a pretty nice perspective.

"We should get back on track." My mom snagged our attention, "Ethan, we are going to talk to the principal, or whoever we can to see if we can get them to do their jobs."

"I'm not sure it will do anything." I sighed. I doubted there was anything that could be done.

That didn't stop my mom from looking incredibly determined, "We need to try. Actually, there's another thing we are going to try as well."

I rose an eyebrow. This time it was my turn to be confused, "We are?"

"You're father and I have been talking and we decided to seek professional help with our situation." Mom said softly as she rummaged through her purse that had been on the side table this entire time.

Dad added shortly after, "We haven't been good parents lately and we know there's been some damage. We thought it would be a good idea to talk to a professional about what we've gone through and how to fix some things.."

"Of course, that is if you're willing to try this too, " Mom spoke lightly as she pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. "It would be a family ordeal."

Upon further inspection, the paper was a pamphlet for family therapy. It had a picture of an actor family sitting in a room with another person, clearly the therapist. They all had smiles on their faces. The rest of the paper was filled with information about what you might have to do there. Raising an eyebrow, I looked up to the both of them"You want us to go to family therapy?"

"If you're up for it.." My father smiled softly and my mom nodded encouragingly.

I mulled it over for a moment before I nodded, I smile forming on my face, "I'd... I'd actually like that a lot."