Be My Addiction

17 • Breakdown

Ethan

Seething, I stormed down the street. It was getting dark already but I didn't care. I was angry and hurt.

And a little drunk.

I regretted coming to the party. All it caused was drama. Now everyone knew just how fragile I was. 

I heard someone run after me. Probably someone planning to make fun of me. Of course, I didn't glance back. I didn't want to risk anyone seeing the tears building in my eyes.

"Ethan!" The guy yelled. It was Eugene. 

Why did it have to be him? Why was he the one who followed me?

I spun on my heels "what?" I snapped. I didn't mean to, but I did. 

Eugene held his hands up as if to surrender. "What happened back there?" His voice was soft, as if he expected me to lash out if he spoke too loud.

"You know what happened" I seriously needed to get control of my anger "you pressured me into that stupid game. And now everyone in there thinks I was reckless. Now everyone is going to look at me like some freak!" I hissed, raising my voice.

Eugene frowned "Is that what this is about? You're worried about what everyone will think? I understand that you're upset-"

I cut him off "No you don't! You couldn't possibly understand. Eugene, I only care about what they were saying because it was true! The accident was my fault" I raked my hands through my black hair, messing it up more. He stood there, like a gapping fish and I continued to ramble. "It's my fault the car crashed and now Brian is dead-" My throat started to hurt from the emotion closing around my vocal cords. My eyes cast downward. I was trying hard not to break down in front of him. 

Eugene moved to step towards me "Ethan-" With a shake of my head, I cut him off and turned to leave. He called my name again but this time I darted off, crossing the street. I ran to the forest, needing a getaway. 

By now, I was deeper in the forest. In the distance, I could hear Eugene following after me. That only made me speed up. I heard Eugene mutter under his breath but I didn't quite catch it. I didn't care.

He called my name again. Did I stop? Nope.

I turned to see if he was catching up to me, only to let out a yelp. He was right behind me. Eugene tried to stop but the ground was slick. He crashed right into me. We were both knocked down, Eugene on top of me. I lost my breath so it took me a moment to recuperate.

He slowly pushed himself into a pushup position "you going to stop running?" His voice was almost teasing. 

I only glared at him "get off of me." I seethed and tried to push him off. Eugene was not amused. Instead we wrestled for a moment until he pinned my hands down on either side of my head.

"There is no way I'm leaving you alone after what I just heard." He said sternly. His eyebrows were scrunched together and his chocolate eyes seemed to be darker than usual. Why was he looking at me like that? Like he knew something about me. "You believe it was your fault?" His voice sounded sad. Why? He had no reason to be.

My throat hurt from the again building emotion. Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes "let me go" I whispered weakly. 

He didn't. "I'm not letting you go" he whispered and I turned my head away, trying to fight the tears. "Not until you let out all that emotion you've been holding in"

With that, my dam broke. My fingers curled into fists but I stopped struggling. Soon, the tears I had been trying so hard to control began flowing down my cheeks. The tears turned into sobbing and I didn't notice when Eugene let go of my hands. 

He held me in a tight embrace as I cried and cried. Why couldn't I just keep my emotions to myself? I didn't want him to see me like this. 

As if sensing my thoughts, he pulled me closer, his hand gently on the back of my neck. He held me in place and for once I didn't fight it. Eugene pulled me into his lap and I grabbed onto his shirt, needing something to hold onto. 

By now, the shoulder of Eugene's shirt was soaked from my inability to stop crying. But he didn't seem to mind. He slowly rubbed my back, gracing me with a distraction from the vicious pain in my chest. He continued to hold me until I calmed down. It took a while but I was able to relax enough to stop crying. Slowly, I pulled back, using my hand to wipe my face.

He saw me at one of my lows. He saw me when I was weak. I hated being weak.

I wasn't ready to face him yet.