Be My Addiction

44 • Target On My Back

Ethan

I walked into school with more determination than I had the entire year. I was determined to do well in school, even without Eugene's help and I was determined to do well even with all the bullies scratching at my back.

I pulled my backpack onto my shoulder and winced at the raw feeling in my fingers. I stayed up too late last night playing the guitar but I guess that's a better coping mechanism than anything else I could have done. Eyes were still on me as I walked to my locker. It seemed everyone had a target aim right at me. Everyone had the pass to pick on me, apparently, but I wasn't in the mood to care.

I sighed to myself and open my locker before I began shoving random books in there. I was wasting time, trying to distract myself from looking in Eugene's direction. I could hear his voice and I can almost feel his presence but I had to ignore it. It was harder than I thought it would be.

Even with last nights decision still present in my mind.

Yes, I had decided not to be bitter and move on in more of a peaceful way but that's still didn't mean it was a good idea for me to pay attention to him. If I looked his way I would think about him. If I would think about him, I wouldn't STOP thinking about him. That wasn't a risk I could take.

I steeled my mind and headed to my first hour. I had a sneaking suspicion it would be the same as it had been the day before. More bullies throwing comments behind my back or trying to get me into trouble.

The only thing I could do is ignore them.

Of course, it was easier said than done. First hour, I pulled out at least three wads of paper from my hoodie due to kids throwing notes and trying to bully me silently - through terrible handwriting and third-grader insults. It was almost funny considering that was my first interaction with Eugene. He threw paper into my hoodie and I got us sent straight to detention.

It wasn't that hard to ignore because none of them deserved my attention.

My second-hour iron heard my name more than I heard what we were talking about in class. Everyone was infatuated by that stupid rumor. They never even checked to make sure it was true. They just like the feeling of being able to push someone around because they didn't meet the societal standards of highschool. The teachers ignoring the situation only made it worse. It made the students feel like they had a right to do it.

I never liked the teachers here anyway.

Sure last year I guess you could say I flew under the radar. No one picked on me but I did know a lot of people, though I wouldn't consider myself popular. Even then I didn't like the teachers. It seemed they cared more about their paychecks and they do about the students they are supposed to be educating.

But that's old news. After all, it's just High School.

During lunch, I sat in the library because I figured I could avoid getting food tossed in my face or maybe tripped while I was in line getting my food. It was quiet in there. The silence was quite pleasant none of the kids who usually eaten there bothered me. I'm sure they were the only ones who had enough sense to figure out that those rumors might not be true.

They've probably had rumors spread about them as well.

Either way, they left me alone and that's all I needed.

Despite the torment, the day had been flying by fast. Maybe it's because I don't care about the bullying anymore. Maybe it's because I keep finding ways to distract myself - by scribbling on my paper whenever someone whispers my name. Or putting in my headphones when I get mocked in the hallways.

Fourth hour flew by fast because we had to take a test and no one bothered me. Sadly, that was the peak of my day, but beggars can't be choosers.

By the end of class, I was ready to go home. I still had one more class to go but I didn't feel like going. So I skipped which is, unfortunately, becoming a habit of mine. Oh well, I'd worry about that later.

And if you think I'm skipping the last class so I can avoid Eugene, you might be right. I was avoiding him. It made things easier. I couldn't face him yet, especially after our little meeting in the bathroom. He was so set on clearing his reputation rather than checking to see if I was okay. He didn't care about helping me even though there was a rumor that was spread for the only goal of hurting me.

He clearly didn't care and I just needed some time to myself to get over that.

So instead of going to class, I hid in the bathroom until everyone left into their respective classes. When the halls were cleared, I snuck out the back entrance and walked home."

I was relieved to be free from that torture. For once, the rushing cars didn't bother me. The walk home was peaceful.

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This chapter is pretty rushed. I may update it later to make it last longer, though this chapter is a little bit of a filler chapter.