The babysitter - Taekook

TWENTY-THREE

As Taehyung arrives at home today, the first thing he hears are Chansol's giggles and Jeongguk's baby voice that causes him to smile immediately.

"I'm home." he announces as he walks over to the living room where the two are situated on the couch.

Jeongguk looks up immediately, smiling at the elder who's leaning against the doorframe.

"You're earlier than usual." the younger notices, the happy smile not leaving his face.

"I left earlier today. I don't have to work that long. I just worked more the last weeks."

Jeongguk knows exactly that the elder wanted to avoid seeing Chansol, so he stayed longer at work so that the baby would be asleep as he came home.

Taehyung didn't say it himself but Dasom has already told him and it was quite obvious for Jeongguk.

But as Taehyung comes home earlier now, it only shows him that the elder really wants to spend time with his son and that he doesn't want to ignore him anymore.

Taehyung slowly walks over to the couch and sits down next to Jeongguk and his son.

"Can you warm up the milk please? I have already prepared it, you only have to warm it up." Jeongguk asks suddenly, giving the elder a questioning look.

"Of course." Taehyung answers, already getting up and walking over to the kitchen. He puts the milk in the bottle warmer and waits until it's finished.

He takes the bottle out and walks back to the younger who has already Chansol in his arms, ready to feed him.

"Thank you." Jeongguk gratefully takes the bottle and tries if it isn't too hot.

But before he starts to feed the boy he looks up at Taehyung again. "Do you want to feed him?"

The elder shakes his head no, an unsure look on his face. "I think I only watch you doing it for now."

The younger nods his head in agreement as he finally starts to feed Chansol who seems to be very hungry.

Both men watch the boy drink his milk until he's finished. Jeongguk puts the milk aside and adjusts his hold on Chansol to make him burp. To his luck, he hasn't wait for long until the sound can be heard.

Jeongguk glances over at Taehyung who watches the baby with a longing look. Suddenly Jeongguk has an idea, scooting a bit closer to the elder, Chansol still in his hold.

"Do you wanna hold him?" Jeongguk asks softly. Taehyung looks at the other unsurely, even a bit scared.

"I don't know. I don't think I can do it. What if I drop him or something?"

Jeongguk shakes his head with a reassuring smile. "You won't drop him. You can remain seated so it's easier to hold him. And I'm right beside you. Nothing can go wrong, alright?"

Taehyung nods slowly, still a bit scared but determined to try it at least. "Okay I'm ready." he tells the younger.

"Make sure to support his head." Jeongguk instructs as he lies the baby in Taehyung's arms.

Taehyung holds his breath as he has his son in his arms for the first time. A sudden wave of happiness comes over him as he looks at his little boy whose eyes stare back at his dad.

Silent tears escape Taehyung's eyes but he doesn't bother to wipe them away.

"He's so beautiful, Jeongguk. So so beautiful." he whispers, admiring every feature of his son's face - from his pretty brown eyes over to the mole on his nose to his pink lips. To Taehyung, he's nothing but perfect.

And Taehyung realizes now that he's really a father. This wonder in his arms is his son.

And he can feel the love. The unconditional and endless love for the baby in his arms that he had buried inside himself and refused to let on the surface.

He feels the need to cuddle the little boy but he restrains himself as he fears he could hurt the baby.

"He's already three months old right?" Taehyung speaks up again, voice still a bit weak because he's still so overwhelmed.

"Yup. I can't believe it either. He's grown so much." the younger answers softly.

"Oh yeah, he's grown so much."

He pauses until he adds with a shaky voice, "I love him Jeongguk. I love him so much."

He looks up at the younger with a gaze full of adoration. Jeongguk breaks out in a big grin. That's all he ever wanted to hear from the elder.

Taehyung seems happy - genuinely and utterly happy.

And the older male feels like he needs to continue his life. He always felt like it stopped right after Baram's death.

But now, he feels alive again. Taehyung wants to live again, wants to be happy. He knows Baram would want this for him. To live a happy life.

And right at this moment, Taehyung decides to do exactly that. From now on he wants to try to be himself again - but he'll take it slow.

It will take time but he wants to try for the sake of his son. And he knows that he's not alone.

He looks over at Jeongguk who's still looking at him with a smile. Taehyung returns that smile nearly automatically.

It's really like Jeongguk told him: the pain doesn't go away but you can manage to live with it.

He'll never forget Baram. He'll keep her in good memory. But he needs to stop being the ball of sadness he is. He has a son for whom he has to be there.

And maybe spending time with Chansol and Jeongguk helps him ease his pain a bit.

Taehyung looks back at the baby in his arms, smiling as he sees that Chansol fell asleep.

Yeah, from now on, he'll be the dad Chansol deserves.