The Girl and the Fire Lord

14 The Mistake - Zuko's POV

I sat across the table from my advisors and generals. We had been working well into the night, and my mind was tired. Still, we had to come up with a plan. The colonies were still so poor and much of the Earth kingdom was in disrepair. Aang was leaving in two days to work on restoring and salvaging the Southern Air Temple, so I needed to have everything set in stone before the night's end. My head swirled.

"Sir, if we pay too large a portion of our reparations budget to Ba Sing Se we won't be able to fund the waterbending Academy for the Southern Water tribe."

"If we fund the Academy, how will we pay to clean up polluted areas down in the colonies?"

"Ba Sing Se has enough money, we need to put that funding towards the Avatar's mission and work towards preserving the Airbenders' culture."

I answered questions as quickly as possible, trying to judge fairly and justly. When my father was Firelord no one dared share an opinion that differed from his. For a moment, I wondered if he'd approve of how I was running his precious nation. I immediately shoved the thought out of my mind - he'd be furious of course, and if he wasn't in prison I'd be dead by now. The only upside to letting Azula in on new information was her relaying it all straight to our father. The look on his face when he found out I was funding world-wide reparations... priceless. That's how I knew I was making the right decisions.

Finally we settled on a final budget and I released my advisors to go home to their families. They kindly thanked me on their way out and went their separate ways. Some of their wives were up waiting for them, excited to see them and talk to them and decompress after a long day. I longed for that. Some day, I wanted to come home to someone who loved me - flaws and all - and would feel safe. I wanted to be that for them too. 

On my way back to my room I overheard something that caught my attention.

"Yeah Hiromi totally cut him off... he seems upset, but we all knew she was way out of his league anyway." One of my guards said. He was just around the corner, and while my mind told me to go back to my room and sleep while I still could, something in me told me to stay and listen. 

"She's hot, but isn't she in hall three?"

"I think she's in hall two, dude."

"Yeah, see what I'm saying? Like I totally get why he was into her, but she's definitely not out of his league. If anything, our guy's out of hers."

My palms hurt from how tightly I was closing my fists. I tried to take deep breaths and remember what uncle taught me. 

"Okay, but have you ever slept with her?" 

"No dude, I told you I have my eye on her cuter friend. The friend's on hall three, so she's definitely up there." 

"So then how do you have any room to talk? Ask literally anyone who's spent the night with her. She's totally out of Naoko's-"

My blood felt hot and I couldn't contain myself anymore. Before I could think twice, I turned the corner and met eyes with the guards. There were three of them standing there, all laughing and talking horribly about the girl I cared about. My balled fists opened, and I sent four huge balls of fire flying just inches away from the guards. 

Their screams jolted me back to my senses, and I saw one of the guards clutch his face, now missing an eyebrow. Their mouths fell open, eyes widened, and they fell to their knees in terrified bows. I felt like there was a hand on my throat blocking any breath from filling my lungs. These men served me diligently all day, making sure the palace was protected at all times. It was nearly four in the morning and they were here watching for any trouble. How dare I let my temper get the best of me and disrespect them? I felt sick to my stomach.

They'd been talking poorly about Hiromi, but they didn't deserve to be afraid for their lives. Plus, a part of my anger was stemming from the fact that Hiromi had apparently been seeing one of the upper-level guards for quite some time now and had broken it off pretty recently. Why wouldn't she tell me about that? She'd had plenty of opportunity.

I tried to still my emotions and regain emotional control. The men still bowed with their faces towards the ground and their hands shaking in fear. 

"I- I really didn't- Please don't take offense to my actions." I began, but no explanation would make up for what I'd done. "I'll send a nurse to check on you and you may go home early tonight. Take the next few days off and I'll make sure you still get paid. I'm- I really-" The regret in my throat kept me from speaking any further, so I turned and walked away.

I still had so much of my dad in me.