The Girl and the Fire Lord

19 Split - Zuko's POV

Kaori was walking away with that random guard and there was nothing I could really do to stop her. Hiromi was practically hanging around my neck, and no matter what I said or did, she wouldn't lay off. As I watched Kaori walk off, laughing and holding his arm, I knew what I needed to do. 

"Are you ready to go back?" I asked Hiromi, who was running her hand up and down my chest. It was incredibly inappropriate considering there were hundreds of people there who looked to me as their leader. I needed to get out of there quickly. I didn't want them to think negatively of me. 

"Yes I am more than ready to go back." She whispered in my ear, tugging at the neck of my robe. I gently took her hand off of my robe and held it in mine. We walked quickly out of the theatre, down the long path towards the palace, through the front courtyard, past Kaori's beautiful garden, and through the big wooden doors. I contemplated having the conversation there, but there would be staff members coming back from the theatre and I didn't want to embarrass Hiromi in front of anyone. I still cared about her. Honestly, I liked her. 

I just knew I'd never love her.

We walked quickly down the main hallway to the hallway for the royal family - now empty except for two rooms - and stopped in front of my door. Her eyes sparkled, and then narrowed with a seductive smile. 

"Shall we go in?" She asked, trailing one of her fingers down my chest and stopping at the waistband of my pants. 

"Um-" I started, and before I could say anything else she started unbuttoning me. Her lips met mine and moved passionately, kissing only my lips at first, but then moving to my neck. She unbuttoned my pants, pulled off my belt, and slid my robe off. I tried to bring myself back to reality, but her smooth hands and soft lips clouded my thoughts. Pull yourself together, Zuko. I begged myself. Just when I thought I was ready to stop her, she pushed the door open to my room and playfully shoved me in. 

She was quick pulling me to the bed. My heart was beating so fast and my whole body was overwhelmed. I let her push me back onto the bed and she climbed on top of me, pulling her dress off over her head and flinging it far away from us. 

Did I really even want this?

My body screamed yes. 

I placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her, pulling her in tighter to me. She was beautiful, caring, and passionate. 

"You're so hot." She said into my ear, kissing me from my neck to my stomach. I was wearing nothing on top, and my pants were still on, but were unbuttoned. With both hands, she grabbed the waistband of my pants and started pulling down. 

"Stop." I said. She stopped kissing and looked up at me. 

"You don't want me to take them off yet? I suppose I could tease you for a little while longer..." 

"No. I don't want to do this." I said, catching my breath and quickly buttoning my pants back. My torso was still exposed and I looked for my robe. It was outside of my room still, probably laying on the ground. Her face fell.

"What do you mean? You seemed really into it?" She said, laying down beside me and moving one of her legs over mine. I fought the fire in my body and cleared my thoughts.

"I know, I know. I really let myself get caught up."

"If you want to take things slower, I can wait-"

"No, Hiromi." I said sternly. Her mouth turned downwards and she sat up straight. "It's not about waiting. I... I don't want to do this with you." I confessed. Her eyes widened and she clenched her jaw.

"Oh. I see. You don't find me attractive. I'll leave now. I'm sorry I was so mistaken." She jeered as she stood up to leave. I reached out and took her arm.

"Hiromi-" I started, and she turned to me, tears already forming in her eyes. I felt horrible already, but I had to say it. It wasn't fair to her to keep this going when I knew it would never work. "You're wonderful. You're fun to talk to, you're serious but sweet, you have a dry sense of humor that I just love, and you're beautiful."

"Why are you saying all of this?" 

"Because I need you to know that what I'm about to say isn't because you aren't amazing and it isn't because you're not a great person. You're just not the right person for me." I said. She bit her lip, folded her arms, and let the tears fall.

"Hiromi, I'm so sorry I didn't find this out sooner. I've loved spending time with you, and it's been amazing getting to know you, but I know we won't work."

"But why? You've been nothing but loving and romantic! You've completely lead me on and you're terrible for it!" She yelled, her voice breaking at the end. She covered her face and melted into sobs. 

"No, no, no-" I walked towards her and opened my arms to her. She fell into them quickly and her tears wet my shoulder. "I haven't lead you on. I do like you - a lot - and I was trying to figure out if it would work between us. Leading someone on is toying with them for attention when you know there's nothing more. I didn't lead you on because I wasn't toying with you and I wasn't just doing this for attention. I care about you, and I want the best for you. I thought we might work together, but I don't think we will. As soon as I realized that, I decided to tell you. You deserve to know where I stand, and it wouldn't be fair to keep spending all of this time with you after I'd made up my mind about us. That would have been leading you on."

"But it felt so real-" She said in between cries. 

"It was real. I really do think you're amazing-"

"Then why won't it work?" 

"Because I don't love you." I said. She tightened her arms around me and her crying softened to a whimper. 

"How do you know?" She croaked.

"I can't give you everything. When I love someone, they'll be more important to me than anything. I'll want to give them my all. I'll think about them constantly. They'll be the person I think about when I first wake up and the person I'll want to see before I go to sleep. I'll feel that passion you feel when you want to be physically intimate with someone, and the emotional connection will be there. I want that for myself, and I want that for you too. I don't think we can give that to each other." 

We were both silent for a moment.  

"I know." She said, and when she looked up at me there was anger in her eyes. Her sultry eyes were now still and dark. I felt her lock her sadness away and replace it with fury. 

She grabbed her dress from the floor, slipped it on, and wiped the makeup from beneath her eyes.

"And no matter how much I wish I was that person for you, I never will be, because you can' t stop thinking of the girl you saw that first morning at the pond." She spat. 

I'd questioned, but now that she'd admitted it I was sure. It really had been Kaori that first day. 

"If you're still caught up on Kaori, go and get her, but trust me when I say I will make you feel how you made me feel tonight." She leaned in closer. "You'll regret you ever met me."