Dipshits in Space: Season 8

85: More bodies

Holographic Izzy paced in and out of existence as Greg returned to the sickbay where her body was.

"Finally. what took you so long?" she scolded.

"I was relaxing." he defended.

"Greg, I'm lying here debilitated, and you're off chilling out?"

"You expect me to just sit here and wait? It's downloading, Izzy. Neither of us can do anything while it's downloading, if you do anything to the body it's just gonna slow it down. You know how long updates take to set up. You gotta wait for the progress bar, it always tells you 30 minutes remaining, but you know it's 2 or 3 hours. Then you gotta reboot, dick with the settings, reboot again. I got things to do aside from entertaining you while your body loads. This isn't a 2 second upgrade, I had to wipe the entire second personality that got corrupted. Be glad you're Osirian and not a federation robot or that would have been more then a few hours of annoyance. You could end up schizophrenic.

"Or a self obsessed clone panda in a gay combat dancebot." she sighed.

"Oddly specific, but sure. It could be really crazy."

"I know a few people...all in the same guy."

"Well there you go. Be glad you're not him...or a Pineapple product."

"Shouldn't you be helping the dipshits?"

"They're fine. So they did a little body swapping, we've all been there before. It's got its downsides but they aren't going anywhere. Maybe they would benefit from another person's perspective."

"That's it..." Izzy epiphanied. "That's why you and my Greg are so different. We swapped bodies and shared a consciousness for a while. It must have given both of us a connection and insight into the others feelings and fears and hardships."

"Well...there you go. Maybe they will come out of this better people, and who knows, they might even be doing really great."

"After an adjustment or two...you actually liked being an Izzy. It was like a weekend getaway from your own body."

"They're gonna be weirded out at first but I bet most of them are actually enjoying themselves and bonding right now." Greg sighed.

"I'll kill you!" Rieanro Yelled in a thick masculine Ukranian accent, swinging at her own body's face with Lawg inside.

"I'm just trying to distract myself a little." Lawriea said, darting away.

"They are not you boobs, stickman!" s(he) yelled.

"It wasn't intentional, I was just adjusting our bra for comfort and I got carried away. I didn't freak out when Malone were handling the Captain's root! You didn't get mad at your boyfriend to fondling another man's weapon."

"He did not have choice! You consume only liquids and urination was bound to happen. He did not shake for 15 minutes, is not enjoyment. You are not using my body for urination, you are just fondling boobs!" she snipped.

"There's a fine line between adjusting the goods for comfort and throwing in a subconscious squeeze without really thinking about it. It wasn't exactly planned, okay? I just zoned out and I'm not used to having boobs!"

"Hey!" snipped Malawg, scolding him with his own pointed finger. "Those are for me and Riea to enjoy. You're not allowed to mess with them unless it's absolutely necessary."