Dipshits in Space: Season 8

95: Weaponry, reloaded

"...So if you suffer from mild to severe chronic death syndrome, talk to your doctor about Immortazaal. Side effects may include blindness, rare forms of cancer, and Fatal chronic death syndrome. If you have experienced any of these symptoms and have died as a result of it, talk to your doctor immediately, and suggest Immortazaal. Imortazaal: Keeping you alive till the day you die." said the soothing female voice-over lady as the screen faded to black and then abruptly filled with flames and the banner for HAMMERED.

"Are you kidding me?" Greg huffed, looking around the room. "Damn episodes have commercials imbedded in them now?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked G'orth.

"Never mind."

"Boy that was a rough first round." Sighed Baraxia I don't even know what we're going to make for the second round, given that we made the entire knife for the first round." she noted.

"There won't be a third round, two of us get eliminated now and then the other two do the second half. Trust me, somehow 2 people get canned at once." Greg yawned.

"How do you know that?" Baraxia asked.

"Because there isn't enough blacksmith humor for a 3 parter and we are definitely over ten pages by now. We didn't even get a 3-parter for the pirate adventure and that had about 14 hours of movie to rip off."

"Okay...whatever that means." Baraxia said with a clueless expression. "I'm just glad the drinking is over. This show is hard enough without being sponsored by alien Vodka, and a 6 oz shot every 30 minutes is unreasonable." she sighed.

"It's a good thing I have 3 livers." smiled Ziggy. "Otherwise this would have been rough."

"Are you still drinking?" G'orth asked Greg.

"It's a minimum drink limit, not a maximum. It's descent Vodka." he said, knocking back a shot. Why would I NOT drink free sponsored booze?"

"I think we all did good out there." Ziggy J nodded.

"Shut up, you little shit." Greg scoffed, uncorking another bottle.

"Well after deliberating and staring at some Thark bones, I think we know which blade is getting thrown away. Greg's craftsmanship is amazing, but his hole is a little big, unlike the fuller he hammered in. I would have liked to see a fuller fuller and a cleaner hole, maybe chamfered on the drill press. G'orth, you presented us an impressive blade, but since the lanyard broke just handling the weapon, you no longer have any component made by your assistant, and that is enough to eliminate you...HOWEVER, Baraxia also had a catastrophic failure due to her poor choice in making this knife out of bronze. We don't have to even test them to know that bronze is softer and will take edge deformation and therefore we don't even feel it is safe to swing it. Everyone else used steel, there is a reason this show isn't called CAST." Ziggurat muttered.

"Mother F-"

"Furthermore." he added. That means two of you will be eliminated instead of one." he finished. Baraxia and G'orth slowly turned to stare at Greg.

"Weird." huffed Greg. "Who could have predicted that twist?"

"Now, we did have a disagreement on who's blade failed the most, especially given the horribly rough lanyard hole and blatantly undersized fuller, but since I was outvoted by the others, I have no choice but to send Baraxia and G'orth home as Losers." grumbled Ziggurat.