Dipshits in Space: Season 8

96: Mythblowers Special

"We got this. How bad can it be?" Mar shrugged. Looking down at the small orange balls on the table, sitting on a paper plate.

"Menace ate like 6 of them at once. She's a ten year old girl. Didn't even excuse herself for a glass of milk. It's gotta be a joke." Lawg rationalized.

"We're grown ass adults. It's just sour candy. If we can handle the Stupid-wing challenge with dignity, we can eat some candy." Marley scoffed.

"Hell yes, we can. BOOM!" Lawg said popping one and leaning back, holding his hands up like it wasn't even a thing. Marley and Genro followed.

"I feel nothing." Genro said.

"This isn't even that bad." Lawg shrugged.

"Kinda good." Mar agreed, squinting. "It's sour, I expected that. I like sour things. Actually this is too sour, I'm not enjoying this any more." Mar muttered.

"I thought it was just me, this is exactly as bad as I imagined."

"We made a mistake, bro."

"I regret this." Lawg whimpered.

"Why did we do this, Lawg? Why do we do these things? Genro, you're not even reacting. Is this not wrecking your ass right now?"

"I am indeed in great discomfort."

"It hurts so much in a sad way." Lawg heaved.

"How can this be a thing, Lawg? Augh, why whywhygodwhy?" Marley said slapping his face as Lawg heaved and stood up, pacing in circles. Genro sat calmly, watching them panic.

"It's not even sour, this is beyond sour." Marley said, curling up in his chair and rocking. "This is a new feeling entirely and I don't want it to exist. My feet actually hurt and I think I'm losing hair."

"AAaaaAAHHHHhhhh NO." Lawg squalled, kicking the air. Riea rolled her eyes and picked one up. Casually licking the candy and immediately turning full T-rex, curling her ams and flinging the candy. She shivered and swung violently with her fists, wheezing and darting for the fridge.

"This not candy." she wheezed.

"I will never eat candy again." Genro said calmly blotting his tongue with a napkin. "The discomfort seems to have no upper limit." he added, turning slightly orange in the face. Marley tipped his chair over, jerking and desperately scraping his tongue with a spoon as Lawg sprinted back and forth, exhaling in short bursts of high-pitch yells. Riea re-entered the room, tossing a jug of milk on the table and chugging from her own jug, swishing and spitting it out into the trash can.

"We need hospital!" she said, finishing in a cough.

"This is medically safe. The discomfort, though horrible, will pass and cause no physical harm." Genro said, tears streaming down his face.

"IT''S IN MY BRAINS!" Lawg squealed, curling up and falling over.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" Marley asked Genro.

"Because it accomplishes nothing and does not help to express my severe regret." he said as Riea heaved and spit milk across the room.

"This drink helps." she insisted, gargling and hiccuping, spraying milk from her nose as she sat down in the mess and closed her eyes, waving her face side to side.

"If I die...just poot me out the airlock." Marley said, lightly sobbing.

"I think I just shit." Lawg sobbed.