Dipshits in Space: Season 8

91: Witch-ever doesn't kill you...

"And that is the hanging cliff." pointed out the Friar as they made their way to the courtroom. "It's for cliff-hanging endings for all those who commit mortal crimes. Here we are, the courthouse." he smiled.

Menace skipped her way to the courtroom and made her seat, waving to the crowd. She sat down and removed her shoes. Nobody knows why.

"Here ye here ye. Are all ye hearing me? Asked the judge.

"Yea, verily so, proceed with ye already." grumbled the defending friar.

"Do not rush me, Daniel, or I will send you back to gardening and this will be the last time you get to use your robes." warned the judge. Marley looked up at him slowly with a look of disappointment in life.

"...so...you're a florist friar? Isn't there a bear somewhere, determined to prevent you?" he asked.

"I think only WE can prevent florist friars, the bear just educates." Lawg whispered. "And scares children into burying the evidence."

"Plead your case." the judge ordered.

"My case is simple my lord. They do not deny eating an egg, for this they will be beaten, so it is written. I only argue that these foreigners are just messengers and do not consort with the dark one, nor are they a witch, not an associate. They are merely here to help, and have broken our laws by accident. Therefore they shall be punished lightly and sent away, not sent to death for consorting with evil. These uneducated swine..."

"HAM?" Menace cheered.

"...May be ignorant to the ways, and guilty of violating the rules, but only out of stupidity, without malice or ill intent. I beg that you be lenient on their punishment, perhaps sentence them to a few weeks of toiling in the gardens."

"And reward your failure with gardening company, I think not."

"Dude, you really suck at this." Marley scolded at Daniel.

"Silence woodland familiar. By your very tongue do you prove witchcraft. How else doth a rabbit speak in defense?

"We're boned." Marley whispered. "This is super hill-jack-ey stuff."

"Your majesty. If a witch be present, why does she not defend her familiar?" Daniel objected. Menaces bracelet beeped. She took it off and placed it on the table as a hologram projected on the floor. Izzy stepped out as a ghostly figure, tapping on the air.

"Is this thing on? Can you hear me?"

"She summons the witch!" gasped the judge.

"Wow...just...so much boned." Marley said, placing a blanket over his head to hide.

"Who speaks to this court of our lord Egg?" asked the judge.

"I'm Izzy, Menaces mom. Hi sweetie."

"No artificial sweeteners." she waved.

"Honorable judge, I call the right of the herb of truth!" shouted the accuser.

"I volunteer as tribute!" Marley said, raising his hand. "If I'm gonna die, let's do the herb of truth. Herb me up!" he waved.

"Very well. As we all know, the herb of truth will make you unable to lie."

"I've been there, Marley, it's bad." Lawg whispered.